In A Rut
by kaela097
Summary: Blair and Chuck are blissfully happy with their relationship, but suddenly realize they've fallen into a rut.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. They belong to Cecily von Zeigesar and The CW.**

**I know it's been forever since I published a new story. I have no excuses other than writer's block and life's interruptions, but inspiration has struck and hopefully it keeps hold. **

**This story takes place a few months after "Heaven in My Arms". Starts out steamy, but the story will have more substance, I promise.**

"Good evening, Beautiful," Chuck greeted his gorgeous girlfriend in their bedroom as he returned from his mind numbing day at the office. She had her schoolwork laid out on the bed as she always did as she studied for her classes. He climbed up on the bed and kissed her cheek.

"How was your day?" Blair inquired as she kept her focus on the computer in her lap that she was typing notes into.

Chuck began giving her a play by play. It became apparent that she wasn't really listening as her responses became more automatic the longer he talked.

"And then Eugenia pulled me into the board room and threw me on top of the table and had her way with me," he tested her.

"That's good," was Blair's response.

Chuck promptly took the laptop away from her to get her attention.

"Hey, Chuck, give that back," she cried out as she reached for the computer. She had spent an hour on her term paper, and she couldn't remember when she had last pressed save.

"I just told you that Eugenia and I are having an affair and your response was 'That's good'," he told her.

"You and Eugenia did what!" she exclaimed, her eyes wide in anger. Her face was turning red as the rage began to course through her.

"We aren't really," he told her quickly to calm her down, "I was merely testing if you were listening, and you obviously weren't."

"Chuck," she smacked him on the chest to scold him. "Don't scare me like that."

"You know that you have nothing to worry about with Eugenia and I," Chuck reassured her, "She is merely my executive assistant."

"I know," Blair sighed as she leaned in to kiss him while trying to covertly steal back her computer before she lost all of her hard work.

"Is this something that needs to be done for tomorrow?" he inquired as he released the computer.

"It's not due until the end of the semester," she told him as she quickly saved her work and set the computer aside.

"Have you had dinner yet?" he inquired as he pulled her towards him.

"I've been waiting for you," she shook her head as her arms came around his neck as he pulled her tighter against his body.

"How about we go out for dinner tonight," he suggested, "Get ourselves dolled up for a night on the town. We can have dinner and then go to the opera."

"I have an exam that I need to study for," she shook her head in disappointment.

"We're in a rut," he announced suddenly, "We've fallen into a routine."

"We're not in a rut," she laughed him off.

"Blair, I can tell you what we did three weeks ago on Tuesday," he told her, "I can tell you that because it's the same thing we did this past Tuesday, and the Tuesday before that. Wednesdays and Thursday I can accept because those are nights we have set aside for specific purposes, but every night seems to be the same as the week before."

"Are you getting bored, Bass?" she pouted.

"Maybe a little," he confessed, "We're nineteen years old, and some nights I feel like we're an old married couple."

"You want to get married," she reminded him.

"We deserve to have fun every now and then," he replied.

"Then go out and have fun," she told him, "You don't need me on your arm. Give your best friend a call, and go. I don't mind."

"I don't want to go without you," he told her, "One night a week without you is about all I can stomach."

"I don't know what to tell you, Bass," Blair replied, "I need to study."

"I know," he sighed. "I know how important schoolwork is to you. I love how cute you look when you're concentrating really hard."

"Cute," she pouted. She hated being called cute. It made her feel like a little girl rather than the woman she saw herself as.

"Sorry, sexy," he corrected himself as he pecked at her lips.

"Are you going to continue to just hover over me or are you going to make love to me?" she inquired.

"Such a difficult decision," he grinned as he leaned in with a mischievous grin. It wasn't his lips that attached to her neck as she had expected, instead his tongue was attacking her delicate neck drawing goose bumps as he went as her skin cooled.

"Such a talented tongue," Blair spoke out loud without meaning to. Chuck's hesitation told her that he'd heard her as he chuckled softly. "Oh my god, that was out loud," she realized as she buried her head into his shoulder in embarrassment.

"All the better to please you with, my love," he told her as he coaxed her away from his shoulder so that he could resume his pleasurable torment. Her cheeks were flushed crimson in embarrassment. He felt the need to pause for a moment to address her embarrassment. "You have nothing to be embarrassed about," he assured her, "What is said and done in our bedroom is between the two of us. Never should you feel the need to blush or hesitate in embarrassment. Feel free to do, say or shout anything you wish. I will never think anything less of you."

"Promise," she demanded.

"I swear on my love for you, which you know is the most sacred thing to me," he replied as his lips grazed the outer shell of her ear.

"Take me, Chuck," she demanded softly as his tongue was put to good use as he dipped into her ear in the way she loved. A deep groan escaped from her throat.

"Take you where?" he inquired as he began to slowly peel their clothes away from their bodies, alternating between the pair until they were both completely bare.

"To ecstasy," she called out as his fingers grazed over her nipples as her breast were exposed to him.

"How shall we get there?" he pressed. He didn't need her encouragement as he was far too turned on to stop, but he wanted to see where the new freedom he'd given her would lead.

"Chuck, please!" she gasped as his feather light touch tickled her ribcage.

His eyes penetrated hers. He was searching for something without knowing which words were his trigger. "How do we get there, Blair?"

"Fuck me!" she screamed into his ear.

Chuck's eyes went wide as the crass words escaped her lips. Until that moment, he hadn't thought that phrase was even in her vocabulary.

"Say it again," he growled in her ear as he settled in between her legs pressing himself at her entrance.

"Please, Chuck, fuck me!" she gasped as her legs wrapped around his body as his hands grabbed her ass as he pushed into her.

She felt amazing, as she always did. She was so warm and inviting. He moved in and out easily as her moans matched each of his thrusts. Just as she was close to reaching her peak he rolled them over so their positions were reversed. Blair didn't miss a beat as she began to thrust against him, finding her release immediately.

"Don't stop, Beautiful," he encouraged her as her erratic thrusts began to slow and almost stop completely as she road out her orgasm. Blair's unfocused eyes connected with Chuck's as she gained her second wind and renewed her thrusting. "That's it, ride me."

"I feel you," she moaned as her head was thrown back in pleasure, "I feel you so deep. Nobody has ever gone as deep as you. Nobody has ever filled me like you."

"And nobody ever will," he vowed. "You're mine."

She nodded, but her nonverbal agreement was not enough for him at the moment as he wound his hands in her hair, pulling her roughly towards him as his lips crashed against hers.

"Say the words, Waldorf," he commanded.

"Tell me what to say," she moaned as she pulled against his restraint, wincing in pain as her hair pulled against her scalp.

"Tell me, you're mine," he growled.

"I'm yours," she responded instantly, "Of course, I'm yours. I'll always be yours."

"Do you still think we're in a rut?" Blair inquired as she stroked his bare chest with her fingers as they lay on the bed basking in the after glow of their lovemaking.

"Our lovemaking is never dull," he assured her as he captured her hand and kissed her delicate palm. "I never intended for you to think that I was bored with our sex life. That is most definitely one of the most interesting aspects of our lives together."

"What can we do?" Blair asked as tears filled her eyes. His talk of their rut made her feel painfully inadequate. She loved the man in her arms more than she'd ever be able to express in words. She knew he loved her just as deeply and he'd live through whatever rut they were in without any complaint. Even earlier when he made his comment, it wasn't a complaint, it was merely a statement of fact. He didn't expect her to do anything to fix it.

Their life was a routine, as it had to be. She had school. He had his work at Bass Industries. Routines had to be a part of their life or they would not be succeeding as they were. Bass Industries was growing at an unprecedented rate. Blair was doing amazing at NYU, maintaining her perfect GPA. Their biggest accomplishment was their relationship, rut or not.

"No tears, Beautiful," he told her as he kissed her cheek tenderly, "I make no complaints about our relationship. I love you, and I will not trade what we have."

"You're Chuck Bass, your life was one long string of parties and one night stands," she replied. "You went from that notorious playboy to the committed boyfriend that I go to bed with every night. How is that enough for you?"

"The Upper East Side is a shallow, empty existence. You know this just as well as I do. I lived an empty life because I had nothing to fill it with. I have you now," he told her as he clutched at her waist, pulled her on top of him. "My life is now full. I'll say this everyday for the rest of my life if I have to. I love you. The reason I can give up my playboy ways is because for the first time in my life I'm happy."

"And the rut," she prompted him.

"I'm sorry I ever mentioned it," he sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration, "If a rut means I'm as happy as I am, then I welcome the rut; I relish the rut. I pray to god this rut continues for the rest of my life."

"Eugenia, cancel all of Chuck's afternoon appointments," Blair told his trusty assistant as she showed up unexpectedly at his office the next afternoon after her classes for the day had wrapped up.

"He has an important business meeting," Eugenia reminded Blair. She knew it wouldn't be news to Blair as Chuck always gave her a rundown of his day.

"Are you telling me it cannot be rescheduled?" Blair inquired as she tapped her nails anxiously against the faithful assistant's desk.

"I'm telling you it's an important business meeting. You tell me if I should reschedule," Eugenia replied.

"Will the rescheduled meeting affect Bass business?" Blair pressed, biting her lip as she waited for Eugenia's answer. She wanted to surprise Chuck, but not at the expense of his business dealings.

"Probably not," Eugenia shook her head.

"Reschedule the meeting," Blair instructed her as she motioned towards the closed door of Chuck's office. It was never closed, so this was an odd sight. "Is he in his office?"

"He's on a conference call with his business manager in Japan," Eugenia replied as she glanced at the phone on her desk to see that the line she had set up the call on was still lit orange.

"I'm just going to slip in and wait for him," Blair announced.

Eugenia nodded as she began rearranging Chuck's schedule.

"You're the best, Eugenia," Blair called out to her, "Don't ever let Chuck tell you any different."

"I won't," Eugenia chuckled as she heard the click of the door close behind Blair. Her grin widened. Blair had that determined look on her face as she stepped off the elevator. She'd seen the look before and it was always to her boss's enjoyment and an afternoon off for her.

Blair entered Chuck's office as his back was turned to look out the window as he spoke sternly into the phone. He was oblivious to everything else around him, including the entrance of his hard to ignore girlfriend.

Blair quickly set up the items she had brought along in her handbag as she waited patiently for him to end his call. She was becoming so turned on by the stern, sexy voice he was using. He was obviously upset about something.

She could tell by the words he was using that his call was wrapping up, so she quickly removed her blouse and skirt as she prepared to greet him. As his chair swung around the words he was about to say left his mind as he stared at the vision of Blair standing before him.

"I have to go," Chuck announced abruptly as his eyes scoured Blair's curves. He felt his pants tighten instantly as he shifted uncomfortably in his chair. She stepped around his desk quickly and deposited his phone back onto the cradle.

"You're drooling, Bass," she announced as she planted herself into his lap as she kissed his mouth-watering lips.

"Not that I'm not happy to see you, but what are you doing here?" he inquired as he felt the cold metal of a handcuff being slapped on his wrist and then anchored to his chair so he was unable to move.

"I'm pulling us out of our rut," she announced as she began sucking hard on his neck as she unbuttoned the collar of his dress shirt.

"You'll leave marks," he groaned as his head fell back against the high leather back of his chair.

"Good," she hissed as she bit down roughly.

His free hand went to pull her into him, but she was quick to hold it away, giving the same treatment to his other wrist.

"I want everyone to know that you belong to someone," she announced.

"We could tattoo your name on my forehead," he chuckled.

"I could leave you with this hard on you've got pressed against my thigh," she replied sarcastically as she stroked him through his pants just enough to tease him harder. "Your reach isn't long enough. You'd suffer for hours."

"It's Wednesday," he reminded her, "Isn't this your girl's night out with your friends? Nathaniel and I are meeting for drinks later."

"I called and cancelled on your behalf," she shook her head, "Tonight you are mine and only mine." Her class load the next day was light. She was thinking perhaps about not going all together if she could talk him in to playing hooky with her. First she had to set the trap.

"And what do you have in store for me?" he inquired as he pulled at the cuffs. He was going to be bruised again; he could feel it. He thought how ridiculous it was that someone had not invented a non-bruising handcuff yet. Chuck would have made them a millionaire by now.

"I was going to start with blowing your load," she responded as she began biting his ear.

"And then," he gulped down a groan.

"Ride you until we break this chair," she replied as she rubbed herself against him in hopes to create a little friction for herself so as to alleviate some of the need inside her. This was supposed to be about him. She hadn't planned for how turned on she had gotten by merely planning his seduction.

"And after that?" he added eagerly.

"Relocate to that table in the corner so you can nail me against it," she responded as her need for release became too difficult to ignore, "But first you need to do something for me."

"Anything," he moaned.

"Get yourself out of those handcuffs and make me cum," she demanded.

Chuck quickly freed one hand and pushed her panties aside, plunging a finger inside her heat.

"Good lord, Waldorf, you're wet!" he exclaimed as his eyes widened in surprise as he expertly twisted and turned his fingers inside of her, finding all the spots she liked. "Is this all for me?"

"Oh, god!" she moaned as her head rolled back in ecstasy as her legs opened wider to allow him better access. Her back arched as she began to thrust against his hand. Her release was so close. She could feel the familiar tingle in her toes. Soon the energy began to spread, before she exploded in pleasure. Chuck's fingers continued their ministrations, drawing out her orgasm for as long as he could. He loved watching her face in moments like these. She was totally in the moment and uninhabited by anything else around her.

"Now that business has been taken care of," she announced as she regained a hold on her senses and re-cuffed his hand.

"The hand job wasn't part of the plan was it," he realized as she stood up and slid her panties off. They were damp and useless now. She might as well let him enjoy all of her assets. Her matching bra was removed as well as she got down on her knees in front of him.

"No," she shook her head as she resumed the unbuttoning of his shirt, pulling it out if his trousers, "But sometimes a girl has to shift her priorities, especially when her need is as great as mine was."

"Feel free to let your priorities shift anytime you please," he chuckled as she worked his pants open. He lifted his hips slightly to allow her to pull them down his legs. He looked to the heavens and offered a brief thank you now that his confined member was free from it's restrictive cage.

"Boxers, Bass," she mused as she discovered the undergarment he rarely wore, tented in front.

"I'm at the office," he reminded her as she pulled the elastic band at his waist, sliding it against his erection as she pulled the offending boxers off his body.

"Hand or blow?" she inquired as she stroked his little soldier standing at full attention. She'd become more comfortable with her oral skills the last few months. She's set aside a full evening to practice on him just before school resumed. He had been a willing subject.

"Neither is going to last long," he grumbled as he arched against her touch. He was nearly there already. A few well-intentioned strokes of her hand or lips were all it was going to take. "You decide how you want to clean me up."

"Blow it is," she grinned cheerful as her lips closed around him moments later.

"Fuck!" he cursed loudly as her hands went to his hips automatically to keep him in place. She must have sensed how desperate he was for release as she instantly began to hum, causing him to explode into her mouth. She swallowed each drop eagerly. Had he been a flavor of ice cream, it would certainly have been her favorite.

"What do you think, Bass, does our little friend have a few more rounds left in him?" she inquired as she began stroking him again without giving him a moment to recover.

"Fuck, Blair, give me a moment," he hissed as he tried to catch his breath. She wasn't the slightest bit deterred as her finger ran along the sensitive tip.

"You have a lipstick ring," she chuckled as she traced the ring around him. "It's not really a good color for you."

His hand came out to caress her chin softly as he skillfully released himself from the cold metal around his wrist.

"You're going to be the death of me, Beautiful," he told her as he felt himself responding to her touch.

**TBC. . .**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. They belong to Cecily von Zeigesar and The CW.**

**I want to take a quick moment to thank you for reading and to those of you who took a few moments to review. **

**If you haven't taken my advice yet, please check out Lori2279, my betee's, Chair story entitled 'The Life They're Meant to Lead'. I'm so proud.**

Pulling themselves out of their rut seemed like it would have easy enough. Over the next several months they tried to make the effort. Usually their attempts involved sex in unusual locations. They were both immensely satisfied sexually, but beyond physically exhausted.

Rational people would have simply stopped making love and gotten out of bed, but Chuck and Blair simply could not stop the magnetic pull that kept bringing them together. Yet through it all neither could stop the nagging felling that the rut was still intact and perhaps even worse they didn't see a solution to pull themselves out.

"Chuck, we need to do something that requires us to get out of bed," Blair whined as her physical fatigue met an all time high. "Preferably somewhere with other people around that will dissuade us from attacking each other in lust."

"I cannot believe that I'm saying this, but I'm amenable to that," he agreed reluctantly as he took a moment to kiss her lips deeply, "By all means, make a suggestion. I love you, and I love making love to you, but we can both use a break."

"There's an Audrey marathon in a theater uptown, but a dark theater is not exactly the discouragement we need. We need a lot of people, bright, possibly florescent lights, and no viable enclosed rooms or structures that we could escape into," Blair listed her requirements.

"That narrows down our options to just about nothing," he chuckled as he pinned her to the bed again. No matter where they went, there was always going to be some place he could sweep her into to have his way with her. He was pretty confident that given she was in the right mood, he could even talk her into a smelly port-a-potty.

"I'm serious, Chuck," she hissed as she broke free enough to smack his chest. "We've made love so much in the last week, I'm beginning to chafe."

"That's quite a visual, Waldorf," he continued to chuckle.

"Think, Bass," she commanded him as she slapped his chest again.

"I have an idea," he responded tentatively. He watched as her eyes lit up in excitement by the possibility, but still he was hesitant to verbalize his outlandish idea. It wasn't exactly something he could visualize either of them actually doing as it was so foreign to their nature. "One of Eugenia's pet projects at Bass is Habitat for Humanity."

Her eyes grew wide at the suggestion.

"It's where people come together to build homes for people who are in need," he continued on in case she had never heard of the charitable foundation.

"I know what it is," she hissed.

"Eugenia is always trying to enlist my help on the weekends she and her family volunteer. I've always turned her down because seriously can you see me with a utility belt around my hips and a hammer in my hands?" he finished.

"Not with the intent of actually using it for its intended purpose," she snickered. She actually could visualize the sight, but only with the intent to seduce her into a role-playing game.

Chuck grinned devilishly as if her thoughts were his own.

"She asked for these next two weeks off so she and her family could be a part of some marathon house building project in North Carolina. Now if anyone else had asked, I would have accused them of using a charitable cause to cover for a sunny holiday in the dead of a New York winter, but with Eugenia, I tend to give her the benefit of the doubt. I know how important school is, but you have a few vacation days, and we both know I cannot function at Bass without my assistant, so I'm think a vacation is in order. As you've just said, we need a reason to get out of bed. I could get details as to what possible services we could provide," he suggested.

"What possible services could we offer?" she scoffed, "I've never even held a hammer, and I certainly wouldn't know how to use it to nail anything other than you."

"There have to be other things besides hammering a nail. Eugenia has told me that Eddie and Justin have been volunteering since they were toddlers," Chuck replied.

"Let's suspend reality for the briefest of moments and pretend that I've tentatively agreed to inane idea," Blair suggested, "Call Eugenia and see what options are open. I'm not going to agree to this until I'm sure we won't be slowing down those that actually know what they are doing."

Chuck rolled out of bed and began searching their penthouse for his cell phone. They had been in one of their moods when they'd arrived home their days at the office and school respectively. The only reason their clothes were not still littered throughout the penthouse was because their housekeeper had obviously been earning her significant paycheck. He found the phone plugged into the charger and promptly phoned his loyal assistant.

Before he knew what was happening, he was writing down the address of their site having already agreed to volunteer both he and Blair's extremely limited painting services as Blair was shooting him death stares. If looks could truly kill, he'd be a corpse. Blair was really angry with him.

"I told you to ask what we could do, not volunteer us to repaint the Sistine Chapel," she snapped as he helped her out of the limo after a long ride to North Carolina. For some insane reason, not only had he volunteered their services, but he'd also had the idea of driving their limo all the way from New York to North Carolina. She'd been furiously yelling at him virtually non-stop since he told her to pack her bags.

Eugenia was there in an instant to welcome them and quickly break up their argument with her cheerful enthusiasm. She burst out laughing at the high-heeled stilettos Blair stepped out in.

"I'm so happy you two agreed to join us," Eugenia grinned as she hugged Blair eagerly before she turned around to show off the massive rebuilding project currently underway. She showed them around, introducing them to everyone she happened passed. She was clearly the woman in charge of the project as she always seemed to be at Bass. Once they were given the lay of the land, Chuck was handed a paintbrush and pointed in the direction he was needed.

Blair was steered in an opposite direction as she was put to work at the food buffet, charming the volunteers as she kept the food and beverages stocked.

"Is any paint making it to the wall, Bass?" she chuckled as he came through the food line later with his volunteer shirt covered in white paint. He smiled as he realized that she was in a better mood.

"Some," he chuckled as he leaned in for a kiss.

"Nuh-uh," she shook her head as she took a step back to dodge his lips, "I'm working here. No hanky panky on the job."

"Hanky panky," he repeated with amusement, "How long has that phrase been in your vocabulary?"

"Hurry up, Mister Bass, I'm hungry," Eddie urged Chuck through the line as he nudged his tray into Chuck's hip. "You're holding up the entire line."

"My apologies," Chuck smirked as he looked towards the red headed seven year old. He said a quick goodbye to Blair before making his way over to the table where Cedric and his older son Justin were saving the pair seats.

"Go play," Blair encouraged him with a bright smile on her face as he was strolling away.

"Eugenia was thrilled to receive your call," Cedric informed Chuck as he sat down and began eating.

"Always happy to help a worthy cause," Chuck responded, "Though I'm more used to just presenting them with a large check, but Blair and I needed the distraction."

"How come?" Eddie asked curiously. Both of Eugenia's children idolized her boss. They didn't see him often, but each time they did the stars were clearly evident.

"You'll understand in a decade or so," Chuck replied without missing a beat.

Cedric chuckled at the confused expression on his son's face as Chuck turned to observe Blair in action. She was charming an older gentleman and laughing flirtatiously at his unheard joke.

"Watch out, Chuck, I think someone's trying put in a claim for your ladylove," Cedric warned him as he spotted the scene at the same time Chuck did.

"They're welcome to try," Chuck responded confidently as Blair's eyes locked with his for a moment. An unspoken conversation was exchanged between them before she returned to her flirting. He wasn't the least bit worried about his lover being stolen from him.

"Genie said you had it rough in Japan several months back," Cedric stated. They'd celebrated the holidays together, but with a penthouse full of guests, Chuck and Cedric hadn't had much of a chance to talk just the two of them. In the time they'd known each other Chuck looked to Cedric as an older brother, seeking out his advice on his relationship from time to time when he'd had questions, as Cedric and Eugenia's relationship was the most stable example he had in his life.

"Genie," Chuck laughed at the obviously unintentional revelation of a pet name.

Cedric cursed under his breath at the inadvertent slip he'd made to his wife's boss. Chuck sought out his advice, but Cedric knew there were boundaries that he'd just crossed. His wife was not going to be happy with him.

"You owe the swear jar a dollar," Eddie told his father.

"Don't ever repeat that or I'm a dead man. It's a pet name," Cedric begged Chuck before he turned towards his son. "And I'll feed the swear jar when we get home, Eddie."

"Not to worry," Chuck assured him quickly, still laughing at the revelation, "Blair and I have pet names for each other that I'd never want revealed or thrown back in my face. Back to Japan, it was difficult having to leave Blair behind, but everything worked out in the end."

"Genie and I went through a difficult separation during college," Cedric revealed. "My major required that I study abroad, and she had to stay behind for hers. We were in a serious relationship and even talking about marriage, but we decided to push the pause button on our relationship and allow each other to see other people. Neither of us had the stomach to follow through on that part though. Istanbul felt like a million miles away at first, but we got through it. When I came back there was a little awkwardness initially, but soon our relationship grew stronger. We've never looked back."

Chuck allowed Cedric's wise words to sink in as the events in Japan flooded his mind.

"Time for my break," Blair announced as she sat herself down at the picnic table as close to Chuck as she dared. Chuck's sudden dark mood surprised her. "Everything okay, Bass?"

"Perfect," he assured her as her beautiful smile pulled him quickly out of his sour mood as a wide smile fell upon his lips as he leaned in and was allowed to kiss her lips as he so desperately wanted to earlier.

"Why are you covered in paint?" she inquired as she ran her fingers through his hair to find several white strands, knowing full well that he was entirely too young for grey hair.

"There was a slight painting war that I might have participated in," he offered up as an explanation as he looked towards Eddie and Justin to see them covered in the same paint.

"Warring with children. Isn't that a little juvenile for you, Bass?" Blair snickered in amusement, "You should have simply walked away."

"He started it," Eddie chimed in.

Chuck glared menacingly at the young boy. "Tattle tale." Eddie promptly stuck out his tongue in reply. Chuck did the juvenile thing and responded with his own tongue sticking out.

Blair watched the interaction with rapture. Chuck Bass was afraid of children in most forms, yet he somehow managed to find a comfort level with these two boys. She could not believe her eyes. It gave her a hope for their future that she'd never thought existed before. He'd casually mentioned that he saw children in their future, but she always assumed that he'd be hands off when it came to raising them. Perhaps he could be a true father to her children, and even a part of their upbringing.

"Boys, I hope you are behaving with Mister Bass," Eugenia joined them as she maternally cautioned her boys.

"Now if only I can get Mister Bass to behave in return," Blair bit her lip to contain a laugh. "What's it going to take, Bass?"

"We'll negotiate our terms later," Chuck whispered into her ear, his voice dripping with sexual energy he hadn't found an outlet for yet that day.

After everyone finished their meal, they returned to their respective projects.

No negotiations were able to take place as the exhausted pair stumbled into their hotel room after a full eight hours of physical labor. It was a miracle they even managed to wash up. Sleep came quickly and easily, but morning was an entirely different story.

**TBC. . .**

**I forget to mention it on occasion, but I love feedback.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. They belong to Cecily von Zeigesar and The CW.**

The alarm went off early the next morning and was greeted by a simultaneous moan from the exhausted pair, but neither moved to silence the annoying buzz, nor could they.

"I can't move, Waldorf," he groaned as he tried lifting his arm to find it felt like a concrete boulder.

"Every body part hurts," she groaned as she tried to roll her body towards him without success.

"It's becoming clear why I've found manual labor so demeaning for all these years," he replied as he forced his arm to lift so he could silence the annoying buzzing that was filling the room. He sighed in relief as silence greeted them.

"Do we really have to do this again today?" she whined as she sat up slowly, every part of her body screaming out in pain as she moved. She hadn't done nearly as much physical labor as he had. He pain must have been ten times greater than hers.

"You were the one complaining about chafing," he reminded her with a sarcastic chuckle, "It's either manual physical labor that wears me out to the point of exhaustion, or we do it ourselves. Which option would you prefer?"

"The one that hurts less," she grumbled as she tried to summon the strength to get out of bed, "Are those really our only two options?"

"Yes," he chuckled. "We simply don't have enough discipline to leave each other alone otherwise, and if ever too much sex is a bad thing, we discovered it over the past many weeks."

She began to curse under her breath as she managed to swing her feet around and make contact with the carpeted floor below. He picked out a few words, none of which he'd repeat. She could make a seasoned sailor blush at the moment.

After they managed to dress themselves, they slowly made their way down the hotel restaurant at the agreed time to have breakfast with Eugenia's clan.

"Good morning, you two," Eugenia stated cheerfully as the pair sat down slowly. "How did you two sleep?"

Blair flinched at the cheerfulness of Eugenia's voice. She adored Chuck's assistant on most days, but that morning she found herself contemplating strangling her. Eugenia looked refreshed and ready for the day ahead while Blair felt as if she'd been run over by a Mac truck.

"Chuck didn't move a muscle all night," Blair announced. Her reply spoke volumes between the pair as despite his best efforts to remain still, he did still toss and turned each night.

"I couldn't even if I wanted to," Chuck added as he reached out to pour himself and his lover a cup of painful needed coffee. He felt every muscle as they moved to accomplish the task.

"I should have told you two to take a few pain killers before you went to bed," Eugenia realized as she fished for her handbag and began sifting through it. She quickly handed over a pile of pills for both to take. The pair accepted them eagerly.

"I can't believe you do this every month," Blair stated with a shake of her head as Chuck's arm came around the back of her chair and lightly began caressing her shoulder.

"You can blame Cedric for my addiction. He had me hooked on this in college. I was a lot like the two of you when I first started. I knew nothing about what went into building a home. Given the time and an extra pair of hands, I could probably build a home all on my own now," Eugenia told them with the pride written all over her face.

"Something to look forward to, Darling," Chuck tapped Blair's shoulder to tease her.

"If you think this is going to become monthly ritual for us, you can forget that idea right now, Chuck Bass," Blair stared him down. "Eugenia, you know I love you and if you ever need my help planning a fundraiser or gala, I'll jump right in to offer my considerable talents, but this is a once in a lifetime occurrence for me. I am clearly not meant for this much physical labor."

Eugenia burst into hysterical laughter. The rest of the adults quickly joined in while Blair pouted in her chair. She wasn't appreciative of the fact that she was the butt of everyone else's joke. Chuck could feel her wrath beginning to build and quickly leaned in to kiss her cheek in an effort to defuse the situation. She responded by lightly slapping his cheek in warning. Her implication was clear. The conversation needed to shift away from her or her temper was going to be on full display.

Chuck took his cue and promptly engaged Cedric in a discussion about baseball. Cedric's beloved Red Sox had just swept a series against his own New York Yankees, and he knew Cedric would be able to keep up a steady stream of dialogue. Not an avid sport's fan himself, he nevertheless had season tickets to all the area's professional teams. He rarely attended games himself unless Nate wanted to. He always checked with Nate before he distributed his tickets out to members of his staff, but Cedric always was given first option when the opponent in question was one of his beloved Boston teams.

Eddie and Justin chimed in with their father's same enthusiasm as they talked about how they had met several members of their favorite team at one of the games earlier that season. Chuck winked at Eugenia. She'd already given him the play by play as he'd been the one to arrange the meet and greet. It was surely the highlight of their young lives.

"Mister Bass, you should come to Boston with us," Eddie suggested as he decided to relocate to the vacant seat next to Chuck at the table. Blair felt Chuck tense slightly at the close proximity of the young boy but said nothing. "Dad is taking us to see a green monster."

"Not a green monster," Cedric chuckled, "The 'Green Monster' at Fenway Park. It's part of Justin's birthday present."

"And how old will you be this year?" Blair inquired.

"Ten," the young boy replied as he held up all ten of his fingers eagerly.

"And I bet all the little girls at school follow you around like puppy dogs. Any girlfriends?" she inquired. Having inherited Cedric's flaming red hair and curious resemblance to Prince Harry of England, he was bound to be popular with his female classmates.

"Dozens," Eugenia chimed in with an annoyed role of her eyes.

"We get giggly little girls calling at all hours of the day," Cedric chimed in.

Chuck burst out in laughter. He knew those days well. There had been a time in his early youth when the adolescent girls favored him over his best friend and he was flooded with calls. Even his beloved Blair had managed a crush on him at one time although he was certain she'd never admit it, even now.

"If you ever need advice regarding women, don't think of asking Mister Bass," Blair advised both of the boys as they looked at Chuck with stars in their eyes as they always did in his presence.

"I have you, don't I," Chuck whispered in her ear with an amused twinge in his voice before he bit down lightly on her lobe. Blair yelped in surprise only to be rewarded by Chuck's dark laughter.

The second day went much better for the pair. Everyone started the morning by meeting one of the families that would be benefiting from their hard work. When they went into their stories, one in particular seemed to stand out. There was a middle aged man talking about how he'd worked for the same company since he left high school. He'd steadily climbed the ranks despite his lack of education by demonstrating his hard work and dedication to the company in which he worked. When the company was bought by another, larger firm, he was unceremoniously fired so that more executives could keep their jobs despite not having a clue to do the actual job. It humanized their efforts and seemed to inspire Chuck in a way Blair had ever seen.

He became a man possessed as he attacked each new painting project as they came, even picking up a hammer towards the end of the week when the painting projects dried up to pound a few nails. He rarely took breaks, and Blair saw him mostly in the hotel room when they retired for the evening. He said little, but groaned a lot. Then of course he fell to the bed from exhaustion and was asleep before he could undress.

As the week wore on, Chuck was regularly the first to arrive at the sight and the last to leave. Blair found herself alone in bed each morning when she woke up and when she went to meet Eugenia and her family for breakfast. She couldn't decide if she was proud of his efforts or annoyed that he seemed to be ignoring her.

"Slow down and chew, Chuck," Blair told him as she sat with him after Eugenia forced him to take a break and have lunch well after everyone else had finished their meals. It was becoming routine.

"I am chewing," Chuck growled in between bites, "But there is a lot of work to get done."

"And we'll stay until it's done," she assured him. "I've never seen you like this."

"These people deserve a home to be proud of," he responded, his mouth full of food.

"Chuck, slow down," Blair implored, "You'll be no good to anyone if you're dead."

"You're being overdramatic," he rolled his eyes.

"Chuck, look at me," she demanded.

He stopped for a moment to look at her.

"Talk to me. Tell me what's going on in that head of yours," she encouraged him gently.

"These people need homes," he shook his head as he suddenly looked away from her. "Homes that they can be proud of, not just houses to live in. For most of my life I lived in a house, not even a house, a god-damn hotel room with nobody that cared whether I was coming or going. You gave me a home, a place to feel safe and loved. That's all these people want. They have that love for each other, and through the act of randomness lost or never had that place to feel safe. I can play a small part in giving what you gave me to those people."

"Chuck," she responded tearfully.

"Even what I'm doing does feel like enough," he admitted, "I'm painting these god-damn walls when I could be doing so much more. I could give these people jobs . . . money."

"Do what you feel is right," she told him as she caressed his cheek softly, "But know that I'm so very proud of you, even if it's just painting a few walls or pounding a few nails, and those people that are benefiting from your hard work will be forever grateful for that."

Chuck captured her hand with his and kissed in lightly, kissing each fingertip. Blair whimpered in response. It had been nearly a week since they'd made love. His simple yet tender gesture was turning her on. She only hoped that it was having the same effect on him, so that their dry spell could end that evening when they returned to their hotel room.

"I love you, Blair," he told her as he kissed the inside of her palm, his lips lingering as he inhaled the scent she'd applied to her wrists that morning, "Your faith in me is astounding. Promise me that will never waver."

"I promise," she nodded as his tongue traced along the platinum ring on her left ring finger. "Through it all, my faith in you will never waver."

**TBC . . .**

**Again I want to thank you all for taking the time to read, and pretty please, let me know what you think.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. They belong to Cecily von Zeigesar and The CW.**

**Kind of a boring last chapter, I know. I hope this makes up for it.**

"You need to slow down a little," Blair warned him yet as he pulled his shirt off and laid himself out on the bed after she offered up her services to give him a much-deserved massage. There talk early had one desired result. He actually come back to the hotel with her that evening and they'd eaten dinner together. To keep him from falling asleep she offered the service that she knew led to other things. She eagerly straddled his back and went to work on the knots. He began moaning his appreciation as she released each ball of tension as she dug in with the heel of her hand.

"I'm working just as hard as everyone else," he groaned as she found a particularly large knot.

"That's not true, Bass," she whispered into his ear as she thumped her hand against his back sharply in scolding. She didn't appreciate his white lie.

"I have to find a way to work out this pent up sexual energy," he responded. Their earlier conversation regarding this issue had been too heavy. He knew he needed to lighten things up. "Waking next to you each morning and not making love to you has left me with a lot of pent up frustration. Working at double speed is the only effective way I've found to work off that energy."

"Why would you want to work off that energy by doing anything but me?" she pondered.

"I thought we were giving ourselves a break from each other," he replied as he rolled onto his back suddenly. His swift movement nearly had her tumbling off the bed, but he caught her around the waist just in the nick of time to keep her from the floor.

"We are taking a break from the twenty-four, seven sexual marathon, but a few sprints everyday won't hurt," she told him as she ground her lower body against him, "I don't think."

"Why couldn't you have said something sooner?" he growled as he sat up suddenly as his lips attached to her neck as he nipped and bit, devouring her like a starved man getting his first taste of food in a month. Blair's fingers wove into the short strands at the nape of his neck as she encouraged his assault as a tiny whimper of pleasure squeaked out.

Just as another soft moan left her lips there was a low knock on their door. Followed by a child's voice calling out for Chuck. It had to be either Eddie or Justin. They froze against each other as they tried to determine if they could proceed. Blair moved to get up, but Chuck's finger dug into her skin to keep her close.

"Ignore it," he commanded as his lips captured hers just as another knock came, a little louder and more persistent.

"But," Blair began as she tore her lips free.

"They'll go away," he insisted as another knock echoed in the room. "I've gone without you for far too long to stop now. Nothing could possibly be more important that making love to you."

Chuck's phone began to vibrate on the desk where he'd tossed it earlier. Try as though he might to dissuade her, Blair could no longer ignore the persistent interruptions as she pried his hands free from her body. She retrieved the phone and handed it to him. A quick glance told him it was his faithful assistant who was going to be promptly fired for the interruption.

"You have one sentence to convince me not to fire you," Chuck growled as he answered the phone.

"The housing project has run out of funding, so I need your help," Eugenia responded swiftly.

"Congratulations, your job is safe," he responded sarcastically as he mentally cursed the situation. "How much is needed?"

"Twenty thousand to finish the project," she told him nervously. She considered her boss to be a generous man, but that large sum of money seemed to be too much to ask for, even from him. "We'll see that you are reimbursed as soon as the next fundraiser is held."

"Not necessary," Chuck assured her, "Tell me where to wire the money, and I'll call the bank."

Twenty minutes later, Chuck's wallet was twenty thousand dollars lighter, and Eugenia was knocking incessantly on his door, demanding to be let in, so she could thank him properly for his generous donation. Scrambling to find his shirt as Blair went to the door, he barely had it on when Eugenia burst in.

"Eugenia, my accountant made the donation anonymously," Chuck informed her, "I insist that none of the other volunteers nor the families benefiting from our hard work know that I am the benefactor. In fact, I insist that from this moment on, we never speak of this again."

"But Chuck," Eugenia frowned.

"Not another word," he cut her off.

Eugenia looked at Blair in hopes of enlisting her help in changing his stubborn mind. Blair could only shrug her shoulders. His mind was clearly already made up. He was standing in his determined posture. Even her considerable influence over him was not going to change his mind.

"Well, I'm going to force you to hear two more from me," Eugenia stated as she hugged him, "Thank you."

"You're very welcome," Chuck replied as he tensed slightly in her arms. Eugenia kissed his cheek. "Now I insist you leave. Blair and I were in the middle of something that can be ignored no longer."

Eugenia nodded with an amused little giggle. She couldn't pretend to ignore his obvious meaning as she turned to Blair and whispered something in her ear before leaving the room.

"Eugenia has entrusted me to thank you properly," Blair replied as she stalked towards her prey once they were alone. "As much as you don't want to hear another word, you will cooperate. Is that clear?"

"What do you have in mind?" he grinned seductively as he reached out to snag his arms around her waist as he pulled her tight against him. "It had better involve a lot less clothes than we are currently wearing."

"It involves absolutely no clothes," she assured him as she allowed him to peel the cotton shirt Eugenia had convinced her to wear away from her body before she pushed him back to the bed, and motioned for him to lie down. He shucked his own shirt and was quick to comply as she began to lightly scratch at his chest. His sharp intake of breath when her fingers flicked against his nipples signaled that he was enjoying her attention.

Sooner than she realized her bra joined the clothes to be cast aside. His lips closed around her rosy bud in an instant as one hand expertly pleasured her other breast.

"Oh, Chuck," she moaned as a smile spread across her face. His teeth bit down lightly drawing out a yelp and then an embarrassed little chuckle as her squeak echoed through the room. His ministrations were relentless as he continued to devour her breast. When the first bud had been thoroughly explored, he worked on the second. Blair let out a long moan of appreciation as she felt herself being lowered to the bed as he climbed over her.

"No," her eyes widened as she pushed him off. Her actions were the last thing he was expecting, and he tumbled to the floor in surprise.

"What the hell, Waldorf?" he snarled as he picked himself off the floor and hovered over her, his eyes dark with anger, but there was a glimmer of teasing in them that told her she could play this however she wanted.

"This is supposed to be about you," she informed him as she pulled him off balance enough so that he was tumbling into bed next to her.

"This isn't the WWE," he growled as she straddled his waist and pinned him to the bed. "You cannot pin me down and expect me to let you get away with it without a fight."

"What kind of fight do you have in mind?" she whispered seductively into his ear as she pressed her bare breasts against his bare chest. It was his turn to moan as she flattened herself against him. Her silky skin against his sent the fire straight to his groan, and he knew she felt it.

"One where I give up entirely too easily," he replied as she took her turn at nipping and biting his neck, paying particularly close attention to his Adam's apple. His hands tangled in her hair, holding her close against him if she had any thought of pulling away.

"I like that kind of battle," she replied as she licked at his skin.

He cursed in reply as her hands traveled down his chest, caressing him softly before her hands worked the zipper of his pants down as her lips travel up to his, her tongue plunging into his mouth taking his breath away.

"Blair," he gasped as he tugged at her hair just enough so he could take a needed breath.

She took his given moment to pull his denim jeans off his hips. She'd giggled early that morning when he'd appeared in the denim jeans as it was so against his nature, but at that moment she'd completely forgotten what had been so amusing. The only thing she cared about was being able to remove them.

"Even during charity work?" she giggled as she found him without any undergarments. His only response was a devilish grin and a raised eyebrow.

He pushed her up so they were both standing so he could remove her leggings. After making quick work of the garment, he lifted her off her feet and encouraged her legs around his waist. She hugged him tight as he lowered her gently to the plush bed keeping her legs around him as he ground his pelvis against hers, cursing at the realization that he had one more garment to remove. He rectified that immediately as he peeled her panties from her body before he plunged into her.

It still amazed him that the sensation of being with her never felt the same. It had been his greatest fear that after being with Blair for a while that sex with her would fall into a routine that would bore him. He knew he'd stay with her because he loved her too much to lose her, but he knew eventually he'd lose her anyway. She'd grow tired of his commitment issues and the other personal baggage he'd brought along with him. She'd walk away and effectively stomp on his heart.

"Bass, please don't stop," she gasped as he stilled above her.

He realized he hadn't moved since he first slid his way into her. He could tell by the frustrated look on her face that she thought he was playing a game with her. She'd been too consumed by her lust to see the faraway look in his eyes. He brought his lips to hers as he began their slow dance to bliss.

Chuck continued to caress her body well after they'd expended all their sexual energy in a way that made Blair a little nervous. She was all for cuddling, but this felt different. "What's going on in that head of yours," she inquired as she brushed a strand of hair away from his forehead.

"I'm just thinking about how much I love you," he told her as his hands continued to skim along her curves and he kissed her shoulder softly.

"There's more to it then that," she replied as she studied his face for a moment. His eyes were dodging hers, but trying not to make it obvious. "Don't even think of shutting me out. We've come too far for that. One way or another I will get it out of you."

"I was just thinking about us and something Cedric said to me," he admitted with a defeated sigh.

"If you're thinking about your assistant's husband as your hands are roaming my naked body, then I'm worried," she responded, "Is there something you need to tell me? Perhaps which team your playing for."

"I've kissed a guy or two in my life, but I most definitely bat for the team that enjoys your delectable curves on a regular basis," he reassured her with a deep, passionate kiss to demonstrate. "And I'll prove it if you'll allow me a few moments to recover."

"What did you and Cedric talk about?" she inquired once she was able to recall the conversation they were having. His kiss left her dizzy.

"The semester he studied abroad in Istanbul," he replied, "He and Eugenia were in a serious relationship, talking about marriage, but his degree required foreign study, so for awhile they broke up and allowed each other the chance to date other people."

"Where are you going with this?" she snapped as she sat up abruptly. Tears stung her eyes at the thought that he was breaking up with her or even suggesting they date other people.

"That week apart we had when I was in Japan worries me," he told her as he sat up and put his arms around her.

"Chuck, that was months ago," she reminded him. "How can that still be worrying you? We survived, just barely at times, but we survived. Let's just forget it and move on."

"We cannot simply ignore it," he shook his head, "We both did an awful job of handling the separation, and I've rejected further business trips that should have been made as a result. I hate to admit it, but my father's constant business trips were actually a necessary evil to stay competitive in the business he was in."

"So, what are you saying?" she snapped, "Am I the reason that Bass Industries growth has been stunted these past several months?"

"No, I am," he replied as the many months of frustration finally came out into the open. "I should have addressed this a long time ago. I should have verbalized my fears, and we should have confronted this head on, but instead I did what I always do. I ignored the real issue and tried to convince myself that it was merely a rut that we were in and not the symptom of a much larger issue. I don't trust us when we're apart."

"I was a hundred percent faithful," she responded automatically.

"As was I to you," he assured her, "That's not what I'm talking about. I don't trust that when we aren't together that we can keep our relationship together. I'm convinced that it's merely proximity that keeps us together. If we put a little distance, the old saying that 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' goes right out the window."

"Does this rambling of yours have a point?" she snarled.

"I need to accept the fact that business trips abroad are a part of my job description. I've rejected too many trips in the past because I knew you wouldn't be able to join us. That speaks volumes to how desperately I need you with me at all times. This isn't a healthy way for us to live. We are consuming each other in a way in which it is impossible for us to exist without each other at our sides. When you turned down my marriage proposal so many months ago, one of the reasons you gave was your need to stand on your own apart from me. Neither one of us is doing a good job of holding you to that," he explained as he stroked her back lightly.

"What are you suggesting me do about that? Do we need to do what Eugenia and Cedric did? Do I need to study abroad?" she asked tearfully.

"The transition for the Japanese acquisition that I went to Japan to work on isn't going as well as expected. We're going to need to send an executive to smoothen out the kinks. I was going to send a junior VP, but now I'm thinking I'll send myself instead," he explained.

A single tear escaped and slowly trickled down her face. "How long will the merger take to compete?"

"I'd probably be gone from three to six months," he told her gently.

"Six months!" she exclaimed, "But you'll miss so much. The semester will be over by then, and I'll be starting my internship with Michael. You'll miss holidays, spring break, our anniversary, your birthday."

"I won't miss any of that," he told her as he brought a finger to her lips to stop her panicked rambling, "I'd never dream of missing any of that. If it takes that long, I will be home for the holidays and all other important days, the most important of which is our anniversary. You can come visit me during extended breaks. I'm not nearly as disciplined as Cedric and Eugenia. Even three months without you is too much for me."

"What about them seeing other people?" she asked hesitantly.

He felt his stomach drop at her words. "If you want that, you can see other people, but don't expect me to date anyone else. You have spoiled me. Nobody could live up to the impossibly high standard you've established."

"I don't want to date other people," she shook her head as a sigh escaped her lips.

"We can still communicate," he assured her, "And I think we should still reserve Thursday nights and keep our ritual in tact, although from different sides of the globe."

"We can video conference," she suggested with a mischievous smirk.

"To show off your sexy lingerie," he added with a slight chuckle as he read her mind.

"Do you really think this separation is necessary?" she asked as she cuddled into him.

"I think it is," he nodded as he held her tight against his chest, "I love you so much that it consumes me. When we're apart, I can barely function. We need to learn how to be in love but still able to live our lives."

"When will you leave?' she asked as another tear was shed.

"I have a few ends to tie up at the office before I can even think of leaving. It will take at least a week, maybe two," he told her as he wiped the tear off her cheek, "I know how important your school work is. I don't want my departure to be a distraction, so we'll keep our farewell tour to a minimum."

"Promise me we'll make it through this," she demanded as she pounded her fist against his chest.

"We will," he stated confidently. "You are my future. There is no doubt in my mind. We will marry each other one day. This separation is a necessary step towards our life together."

The words sounded so contradictory, but despite her displeasure she knew he was right. She dissolved into tears. His tears mixed with hers as they proceeded to make love as the tears continued to flow.

**TBC. . .**

**As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. They belong to Cecily von Zeigesar and The CW.**

Chuck's announcement that he would be the executive to spearhead the merger caught the entire board and executive team by surprise. Eugenia took the news almost as hard as Blair, especially when he told her she'd be staying in New York. Naturally she had assumed he'd take her with.

"I need you to stay here and keep the wheels of Bass turning," Chuck told Eugenia as they had a late lunch in his office to discuss the details of his trip. "I need someone that I trust to ensure this company stays afloat in my absence. Besides, I'd never ask you to spend that much time away from your family."

"Is Blair able to take time away from her studies, or is she transferring to a school in Japan for the rest of the semester?" Eugenia inquired as she forked more of her salad.

"Blair will be staying in New York," Chuck replied with his eyes slightly averted.

Eugenia looked at Chuck for a few minutes in stunned silence before she was able to gather her wits. "Chuck, that's not a good idea," Eugenia shook her head. "You could barely keep one foot in front of the other during our business trip and that was only for a little over a week."

"That's the primary reason why I've assigned myself to take the trip," he offered up his explanation. He was under no obligation to give it, but Eugenia was such a loyal assistant and deserved an explanation just the same. "The level of need that we have for each other is obviously no longer healthy. It's getting to the point where we cannot function without each other."

"So your solution is to put thousands of miles between each other and hope that the time apart does not destroy your relationship?" Eugenia scoffed, "Cedric and I tried that once in college. It nearly caused irrversable damage."

"Cedric told me about when he went to Istanbul. He said your relationship is all the stronger because of your time apart," Chuck responded with a wrinkled brow of confusion.

"He's obviously mis-remembering the facts," Eugenia stated emphatically, "I actually fell for someone else while he was gone."

"He said neither of you dated while he was gone," Chuck responded as his confusion grew.

"And technically that is true."

Chuck frowned in confusion.

"It's a little complicated," she began as she took a deep breath to gather her thoughts. It had been a long time since she'd given the events she was about to discuss any thought. She and Cedric had put the events behind them. "Wes was my college advisor's assistant. At first, it was a harmless friendship. I had been struggling with a lit course, and he offered to tutor me. I never intended anything to come from it. I loved Cedric so much and was planning a future with him. Things with me and Wes started innocently. I was lonely and Wes was there to fill the void that Cedric usually filled. Wes and I spent a lot of time together. We had so much in common and could talk for hours. We had the same sense of humor. He seemed to get me in a way no one else did, even Cedric. We'd go out to coffee after an intense study session or an early breakfast after an all nighter.

"One night Wes proposed we go to a marathon movie event at the multiplex when he found out it was a marathon for my favorite filmmaker. When he walked me home it turned into many trips around the block. One thing led to another and before I could stop him, he kissed me. What was worse was that I found myself kissing him back. When rational thought caught up with me, I pulled away and ran to my room.

"I called Cedric the next day and told him what happened. He was so angry that he slammed the phone down on me. He wouldn't talk to me for days. Meanwhile Wes pursued me relentlessly. I was already convinced that Cedric and I are history, so there was no harm in me accepting Wes's offer. As I was getting ready for the date, Cedric called. He was upset and angry, but he told me he still loved me and wanted a future with me. I stood Wes up and never spoke him again.

"Cedric came home a month later. We argued a lot in the beginning. There was a breaking point in which I thought we wouldn't make it. He was still so angry about my betrayal, and I was angry that he he left on my own and couldn't see past what I'd done. One day the anger just vanished. I still have no idea what happened. We found our way back to each other, and never really looked back," Eugenia explained.

"Cedric never mentioned any of this," Chuck stated as he began to digest what his assistant had revealed. He suddenly felt nauseous.

"I'm not telling you because I think this could happen to you and Blair. Your relationship is so much stronger than mine with Cedric has ever been, but if you're doing this solely based off what Cedric told you then you deserve to have all the facts not the diluted details that he's filtered it down to after twelve years."

Eugenia left Chuck alone with his thoughts. He didn't know what he could be capable of if the same thing happened to Blair. With his resources and connections he could easily see himself permanently removing whatever despicable sap tried to invade on his love, but he also didn't know if their relationship could survive. They'd tested many boundaries, but infidelity was the unwritten deal breaker. The more he thought about the situation the more uneasy he became. He needed to see her.

Chuck quickly checked his watch to determine where in Blair's schedule she would be on her first day back at NYU. He knew she was in class, but she'd be finishing up for the day and on her way home. He quickly placed a call to his loyal driver to divert Blair to a new destination, Bass Industries.

"You had better start talking fast, Bass," Blair growled as she stormed into his office while he was meeting with the company's CFO regarding chain of command issues while he was away. She hadn't even allowed Eugenia to slow her down as she flew towards his office in a rage Eugenia had never seen. The nerve this man had of diverting the limo without so much as discussing it with her. Arthur had already received a severe tongue-lashing. Now it was his turn.

"We'll talk more later," Chuck told his second in command as he quickly ushered him out of the office without allowing for the usual pleasantries. He was instantly regretting his apparent misstep. He knew he'd need to take a few moments to calm her down before he potentially pissed her off again. "Hello, Beautiful."

"Don't you hello me, you Basstard," she snarled as he kissed her cheek in greeting. She nearly slapped him across the face for his nerve. "Save your charms for another day. It's not going to work this time. How dare you reroute me without discussing it with me first. I'm supposed to meet with Riley soon plan out the rest of our study sessions for this semester. You're making me late."

"I'm truly sorry," he apologized quickly and sincerely, "I wasn't thinking. You're absolutely right. I should have spoken with you first."

"This had better be important," she scolded at him as he slowly moved in to kiss her softly as his arms ensnared her waist.

"It's about my trip to Japan," he spoke into her ear softly. He could feel the anger leaving her body as he held her close.

"Are you staying?" she asked hopefully as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pulled herself tighter against him.

"No," he responded regretfully as he kissed the piece of deliciously smelling skin just below her earlobe. "I still think this trip is a good idea, but I think we need to set a few ground rules that didn't seem necessary until this afternoon."

"Ground rules," she repeated skeptically. Rules were never a good idea where Chuck Bass was concerned. There wasn't a rule made that he hadn't sought to break over his life.

"Eugenia tried valiantly to talk me out of this trip," he began.

"I knew there was a reason I loved her so much," Blair chimed in.

"She wasn't successful," he continued, "But she has succeeded in scaring the shit out of me. Apparently her separation from Cedric did not go nearly as well as he led me to believe."

"I need details," she demanded as she eyed him in confusion.

"Eugenia developed a friendship with another man while Cedric was gone that led to more," he explained.

"How much more?" she asked curiously.

"One kiss," he replied, "Which did about as much damage as a full affair as she also had true feelings for him."

"Cedric must have been angry," Blair assumed. She knew how angry she would be if she was in his shoes. There was no telling what she was capable of.

"It almost destroyed their relationship," Chuck confirmed, "And I do not want that to happen to us. As scary as it is to say and perhaps hear, I'd die if I lost you."

"I won't be kissing other guys," she assured him as she held him tighter, "You can trust me."

"I need you to promise me," he told her as he pressed his forehead to hers.

"You have my promise," she replied as she held up her ringed finger, "I wear it on my finger everyday. This is our promise to each other. You have no reason to worry."

"I do trust you," he began as he kissed her finger before his forehead came to rest against hers once more, "I know I sound like a broken record, but I just cannot trust the good things that have come into my life. Eighteen years have conditioned me to expect the negative."

"As much as I hate that this is happening, we will get through it," she assured him, "And we'll be so much stronger for it."

He nodded as he held her close, while savoring the feel of her against him.

"Do you know when you're leaving yet?" she asked softly as they began to sway back and forth gently as if dancing to unheard music.

"Sunday," he responded simply.

He began to explain certain business details of why the trip was necessary. Her eyes began to glaze over quickly as the businessman in him was coming out. She continued to listen without complaint, but she rarely knew what he was talking about. It certainly wasn't interesting to her.

"Enough work talk," he switched gears, "You said that you have plans with Riley. Go. I'd hate for you to keep her waiting any longer."

"We'll talk more tonight," she agreed, "I'll be home before you anyways."

"I wouldn't bet on that," he told her, "I'm planning on being home at a reasonable hour each night this week."

"So we can make up for some of the time we'll lose while you're away," she hypothesized.

"And I'm canceling 'Guy's Night' with Nate," he added.

"The girls already know we won't be getting together this week," she giggled. Naturally they'd both at that same thought. "I'll let you get back to work. Apologize to Eugenia for me. I think I frightened her."

He nodded as he leaned in to kiss her softly. When he attempted to pull away she slapped his across the cheek lightly.

"What is that for?" he growled as the sting began to burn his skin.

"For commandeering my limo," she told him as she kissed his inflamed cheek, "Don't do that again."

"Warning taken," he sighed as he pulled her towards him for one more kiss to which she was quick to deepen. "Feel free to continue on with my punishment when we get home."

"It's a date," she winked as she spun on her heel and left his office.

He heard her cheerfully address Eugenia as she strutted towards the elevator.

"I swear the two of you are bi-polar," Eugenia laughed as she shook of her head as Chuck came out of his office to watch Blair step on the elevator. "You two have incredibly accelerated mood swings. Anyone else would struggle to keep up."

"Don't even try, Eugenia," Chuck laughed.

**TBC. . .**

**As always, please let me know what you think.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. They belong to Cecily von Zeigesar and The CW.**

**Thank you, as always, to those of you that provided feedback. **

The day of the dreaded departure was rapidly approaching, and neither were ready for it. None of Chuck's belongings had been packed. Each night was devoted to each other as both planned extra romantic moments for the other as the attempted to pack in as much time as they could into the few short days they had left. That Saturday they spent all morning and afternoon in bed before Chuck forced them into the shower so they could prepare for their special evening.

"Do we have to go out? Can't we just stay home and continue on with this day as we have been," Blair moaned softly as he began washing her back.

"We most definitely need some fresh air," he tried to sound convincing although it was very tempting to give into her request.

Blair began to pout. "How about we just open a window?"

"All of our window panels are solid glass," he told her as he continued his thorough washing of her body making certain that no nook or crevice was missed, "They aren't meant to be opened."

"That seems very unsafe, Bass," she replied, "What if there was a fire?"

"Would you actually jump out the window in such an emergency?" he chuckled lightly, "We're more than twenty stories up. I don't think you'd be able to tuck and roll enough to simply walk away."

"You forget that I'm a Waldorf," she grinned, "We can do anything we put our minds to. I tamed you, didn't I?"

"Define tame," he challenged her as his hands continued to skim along her curves as he watched the suds and water flow from her body.

Blair didn't feel the need to take the bait. She could tell by the way he was eyeing her up and down that he'd distracted himself anyways.

"If you're insisting that we go out this evening, then I'm insisting that we make love first right here in the shower," she told him plainly, leaving no room for reinterpretation.

The bar of soap in his hands slipped free as he spun her around so she was facing him. His smile was contagious as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. He lifted her off her feet and slammed her against the shower wall. His lips attached to her neck as he began sucking and biting in the way she usually disapproved. This time he would leave his mark, hopefully one that would last long enough until he could leave another a month or so later.

"Chuck," she moaned as her head rolled back until it rested against the shower wall, giving him better access. She had intended to scold him for his intension, but the sound came out as more of an encouragement to continue. There was something strangely comforting in the fact that she would bear his mark even when he wasn't there.

"Blair," he paused for a moment as his better judgment won out for a moment.

"Don't stop," she gasped as her eyes rolled back.

"I'll leave a mark," he warned her.

"Please do," she moaned as his lips returned to her neck. She fisted her fingers into his hair to keep him in place. "Leave as many marks as you can."

Chuck went straight to work as he bit and sucked his way along her neck and collarbone. Soon her neck was peppered with red marks, several of which had potential to turn purple over time.

"Chuck, please, take me," she gasped as she arched herself against him. He fulfilled her request immediately as he drove into her long and hard. There was a loud growl of pleasure that echoed from one shower wall to the other, but neither would hazard a guess as to which one made the sound, nor did they care.

As Chuck continued to savor her, his thoughts turned towards the horrible mistake he was about to make. He was leaving in the morning, and she'd be forced to pick up the pieces on her own. He knew how hard this was going to be for her. Her abandonment issues were not a secret.

Blair's fevered cries of bliss broke through his brief bout of worry. His lips sought hers out. He pushed his way into her mouth as he savored every bit of her. His mind was memorizing everything, every slight whimper and moan, every freckle and curve, every tiny imperfection that made her into the perfect creature that he was completely devoted to in every way.

"Now can we stay in for the evening?" she gulped in much needed breaths of air after they found their release and clung to each other as they recovered.

Chuck's lips had resumed their roaming of her neck, making sure that the red marks would turn purple like they were supposed to.

"We should keep our plans," he spoke after a moment of thought.

"What could you have planned that is better than doing what we have been for hours?" she inquired.

"Get dressed and you'll find out," he told her as he returned her to her feet. Her legs wobbled as he released her, and she would have fallen to the shower floor had he not reacted reflexively and caught her. "A little weak in the knees, are we?"

"Basstard," she laughed as she slapped his chest as he waited patiently for her legs to solidify enough to release her.

As they stepped out of the shower and began to dry each other off, Chuck paid special attention to the red marks on her neck. One was already turning a faint shade of purple. He wondered how angry she was going to be now that her mind wasn't clouded in lust.

"Admiring your work?" her lips curled up at the corners as the towel in his hand past along her collarbone for the fourth time.

"Makeup should cover them sufficiently," he gulped nervously. "There is no reason to be angry with me."

"Why would I be mad with you?" she asked as her face demonstrated her confusion. "I asked you to give me the hickey, several in fact."

"In the heat of the moment," he shook his head, "I should know better. You ask for a lot of things in the moment that you don't actually want me to do."

"I wanted this," she assured him as her fingers traced along the mark. Her smile widened as she saw the outline of his lips in the marks. "I want the reminder of what it feels like to be with you for as long as they'll last."

He wasn't completely convinced, but he let the subject drop as he walked her back into their bedroom. There was no need to pick a fight with her that evening. The next day was going to be difficult enough.

"What shall I wear for this mystery evening you have planned?" she inquired.

"Something that will come off swiftly," he told her leeringly.

"That's just about everything in my wardrobe," she laughed softly, "That's always the first question I ask myself when I buy a new ensemble. 'How quick can Chuck get me out of this?' If the answer is more than a few seconds, it's simply not worth buying."

"That's an interesting way to narrow down your wardrobe, Waldorf," he smirked as he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind as he walked her into their closet to survey their options.

"Anything strike your fancy?" she inquired as she perused the labels.

"Wear the gold gown," he requested as he kissed the nape of her neck.

"Gown," she repeated, "This must be quite a night out."

"With you always," he whispered as he kissed her bare shoulder before he pulled away. "I'll leave you to get ready. My tuxedo is in the guest bedroom, so I won't be a distraction. Meet me in living room when you're ready, in an hour?"

"An hour should be plenty of time," she nodded. He kissed her quickly before he disappeared from the room. He had a lot to do and very little time to do it in.

* * *

Blair was smoothing out the flowing skirt of her dress as she made her way to the living room exactly an hour later. She was distracted by the slight wrinkle enough that she missed the romantic setting she'd walked in to. When she looked up, her eyes grew wide in surprise as he stood before her in his Armani tuxedo with a single red rose in his hand.

Chuck had certainly been busy in the hour he'd allowed himself. Lit candles were everywhere, bathing the room in their soft glow. Fresh cut flower arrangements were strategically placed around the room. Furniture was pushed away and in the center was a romantic picnic waiting for them.

"What is all this?" she gasped as her eyes welled with tears.

"A celebration of our love for each other," he told her. In his mind that sounded a lot more poetic than it came out. He was bordering on cheesy, but Blair didn't seem to notice as she rushed into his arms.

"Why did we need to play dress up?" she inquired as she tugged at his bow tie slightly to straighten it. He was so out of practice, it was almost comical how eschew it was.

"It gave me time to set all of this up," he smiled as he began tracing her bare shoulder with the rose in his hand. "Did you really think I'd take you out in public our last night together?"

A single tear slid down her cheek. It was sounding more and more like an ending as she had feared it would be.

Chuck knew he'd used the wrong words the minute the tear left her eye. "I'm going to be back soon. This isn't a permanent goodbye. We'll have the life together that we both dream of."

"I dream of never being apart from you," she told him as more tears threatened to spill.

Chuck choked on his next words. He was very tempted to put this separation idea of his out of his mind, but there was a tiny whisper in the back of his mind that he could not ignore. They were becoming far too dependent on each other. While she had proclaimed that she wanted to stand on her own feet apart from him before they married, he had just come to the realization that he didn't know who he was anymore.

He'd gone from the conniving, scandalous, notorious playboy to the hopelessly, committed boyfriend to Blair Waldorf in the blink of an eye. When he looked back on what he'd once been, it made him sick to his stomach, but he also didn't know if this new Chuck was the Chuck he was meant to be. He thought perhaps he'd settled down too much. The man once known as the authority on malt liquor rarely had a drink anymore. A beautiful woman passed him by on the street, and it didn't even occur to him to look. The jet-setting trips were a thing of the past only to be replaced with short business trips and long romantic getaways.

He wanted a life with Blair. That was the one thing he was certain of, but he didn't know if he could sustain as the person he'd become. He needed this separation to be certain. He needed to put himself to the ultimate test.

"I know this is hard," he stated after a few moments of unbearable silence. "And you probably want to strangle me as much as you want to make love to me for forcing this on you, but we need this. When I thought I'd lost you so many months ago, my entire world stopped revolving. I couldn't see a way in which I could continue living. I don't know what I would have done I had lost you that day, and that scares me."

"It scares me too," she nodded reluctantly, "Because I do know what I would do if I was in that situation. Romeo's Juliet would have nothing on me."

"And that scares me even more," he told her as he caressed her chin softly with his thumbs as he held her face so their eyes were connected. "Even if I were gone, I would want you to continue living. I'd want you to keep me in your heart, but continue to draw breath."

She nodded as his words sunk in. She hated that he was leaving in the morning, but his reasons were pure. Another tear escaped, but she was determined to make it the last one of the evening.

"Enough of this Romeo and Juliet double suicide nonsense," she announced as she wiped at her cheek. "You have a picnic basket full of what are most likely my favorite foods. We'd better not let that go to waste."

"Your wish is my command," he told her as he lowered her to the floor.

"My dress is going to wrinkle," she frowned as she tried to arrange the flowing shirt.

"You won't be wearing it long," he assured her, "I promise to toss it neatly to the side when I peel it from your body."

Blair gave him a giddy laugh as he pulled out a bottle of Cristal, expertly popping the cork and pour them each a glass.

"What's next, Handsome?" she inquired as the bubbly liquid flowed down her throat.

"Appetizer or dessert?" he inquired.

"That depends. Are you the dessert?" she asked hopefully.

"I'm the second course dessert," he told her, "There really is dessert in here."

"Appetizer?" she inquired.

He produced a small gold tin she recognized immediately as Almas cavier, the most expensive in the world, and naturally her absolute favorite. He immediately scooped some onto a cracker and slid it into her mouth. Her eyes lit up in excitement as the flavors exploded into her mouth.

"You're spoiling me," she smiled.

"Don't I always," he replied.

"Out of curiosity, what is for dessert?" she inquired as she tried to look over him and into the basket.

"Already finished with the appetizer?" he inquired as he took his own taste of the cavier.

"Just overly anxious to get to the second dessert," she replied.

"This actually took all of my powers of persuasion to arrange," he told her as he opened up the basket again and pulled out a pie, a pumpkin pie.

"A pie," she looked at him skeptically. She couldn't describe how disappointed she was with the unveiling. He was usually much more thoughtful and creative with his surprises.

"One taste," he told her as he offered her a bite. He hadn't expected her to know exactly what this was until she tasted it.

"Daddy's pie!" she exclaimed as the familiarly tasting treat rolled around on her tongue. "How? Did Dorota make it for you?"

"It was flown in from Paris less than an hour ago," he explained as he fed her another bite. "My pilots were more than a little mystified as to why they flew all the way to Paris and back without picking up anything more than a carefully packed crate."

"Only you could con my father into making the one dessert that he has proclaim my entire life to be only good enough to make once a year," she laughed as she took the fork from his hand and dug into the dessert to offer him a bite.

"The smile on your face makes it all worth the effort," he proclaimed, "I must say, Mister Harold Waldorf is much more difficult to persuade than his delectable daughter."

"He doesn't know your prowess in bed," she grinned mischievously, "Or does he?"

"I've kissed a few men in my life, but there is only one Waldorf I've bedded, and she is the most beautiful of them all," he growled. He knew his revelation that he'd kissed a few men in his life would come back to haunt him.

"Out of curiosity, how many men have you kissed?" she inquired.

"Does it matter?" he smirked. "You're the only one person I want to kiss anymore."

"Did you enjoy it?" she pressed.

"Is this really the conversation you want to have on our last night together for a month?" he groaned with the realization that she wasn't going to drop this.

"I've kissed a girl before," she replied.

"Serena doesn't count," he rolled his eyes.

"Tell me," she demanded gently as she crawled towards him carefully so that she would not wrinkle or tear her dress.

"Why is this important?" he asked, "It's in the past, part of my drunken, debauchery days that are behind me."

"At least tell me how many?" she tried to pry out of him.

"More than two, less than ten," he growled his displeasure, "Fifteen at most if you count the drag queens I didn't know where men."

"Did you enjoy it?" she asked again.

"It doesn't matter. I enjoy kissing you the most," he growled at her again.

"You enjoyed it, didn't you," she smirked as she read between his unspoken words.

"This is funny to you," he realized. "Why is this funny to you? You should be angry about this or perhaps scared that history will repeat itself."

"You love women too much," she shook her head confidently as she pushed aside all the food that lay next to him.

"I love one woman too much," he corrected her as she forced him onto his back as she hovered above him.

"We'll never be my parents," she replied as she pulled at his tie slowly until it came undone, "There is a passion between us that they could never meet . . . that most people could never meet."

"That nobody could ever meet," he corrected her again as his fingers searched her dress for the zipper, "What you and I have is replicable."

"I'm not sure the world could handle another couple with as much passion," she told him as she pulled his tie free from his collar just as the zipper of her dress was lowered quickly. His hands dipped into her dress to caress her back as soon as the skin was revealed. "We're lucky we haven't set the world ablaze."

"You set me ablaze," he replied as he spread the material covering her back wider so that he could get his hands on more of her skin.

She wrestled herself out of her dress as she worked to undress him. Chuck was very helpful in removing her clothes, but useless when it came to removing his own. As she struggled with his shirt buttons, his hands were roaming her body and setting her skin on fire.

"I give up. Undress yourself," she announced as he rolled her underneath him. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders as he kissed her deeply.

Chuck hands felt as if they were everywhere at once. She forgot her annoyance and simply enjoyed his touch. His hands worked their magic as she was rendered speechless. Before she could have another rational thought his clothes had disappeared and he was making love to her.

**TBC. . . **

**And please let me know how I'm doing.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. They belong to Cecily von Zeigesar and The CW.**

"Blair, Beautiful, wake up," Chuck whispered as he reached out to silence his alarm. She was still sound asleep in his arms. She'd slept peacefully through the night, and he surprised himself by getting a few hours as well. He hated himself for having to wake her, but he knew she'd hate him more if he allowed her to continue sleeping without making allowances for a proper goodbye.

"Chuck," she mumbled as she hugged him closer to her.

"I have to get up," he told her softly as he tried to pry her arms free from his body.

"No, you don't," she shook her head slightly as she held tight, her lips nipping at his chest as she began to wake up.

"How about we take a shower together and then you can help me dress and pack," he suggested. He knew she had every intention of hanging on to him until the last possible moment.

"No," she shook her head, "I'm not doing anything that helps you leave me."

"Blair," he scolded her gently.

"I know, I know. I'm not making this easy," she sighed as they stood up and slowly made their way to the shower were they paid extra special attention to each other's bodies as they lathered each other up.

"I know you know I love you," he told her as they held each other close as the water cascaded down their bodies to wash away the suds, "This isn't an end for us. We're still in the beginning of our life together. We may be a half a world apart, but my heart is staying here with you where it belongs. Keep it safe for me."

"Of course," she nodded, "As long as you do the same with mine."

"Always," he vowed as he captured her lips in a soft kiss. He felt the warmth of her tears as they began to flow down her cheeks. He broke their kiss and began chasing each tear away with his lips as he continued to profess his undying love for her.

They eventually found their way out of the shower and back into bed as they made love one final time.

Blair tried to put on a brave face as they made their way to the elevator, but as he pushed the button to call the elevator her brave face crumbled.

"Know that I have complete faith in us," he told her as he cradled her head in his hands as he wiped a few tears that had fallen down her cheeks, "I wouldn't risk this separation if I didn't believe we could survive it. This will make us stronger."

"I don't want us to be stronger if it means you have to leave me," she pouted ever so slightly as she wrapped her arms around him tightly, her grip so fierce it was making it difficult for him to breath.

"I'm not leaving you, not permanently . . . never permanently," he whispered just before his lips caressed her softly. "We'll be together soon, and I'll be home for good before you know it."

"Not soon enough," she continued to pout.

"Trust in me, trust in us," he suggested, "We've promised each other a forever, and we'll have that."

She nodded slightly.

The elevator chimed its arrival. For the first time Blair felt it was the foulest sound she'd ever heard. Normally the chime was to announce his arrival, but now that it was his departure. She wanted to reach into the electrical circuits and rip it out.

"I'll call you as soon as I get settled," he assured her as he tried to untangle himself from her arms without success.

"Before you get settled," she told him, "Getting settled implies unpacking and relaxing. I won't wait that long."

"I'll call you as soon as I get to my apartment," he amended, "We'll test out our video conferencing equipment to ensure that it's working properly."

She nodded in agreement.

"If you need me, I'm only a phone call away. I promise you I will always be available for you," he vowed as he ran his hand along her spine as he tried to remember every last little detail he could.

"And you have to promise that you'll be home for your birthday, our anniversary, and Easter and Memorial Day and every trivial holiday that we use as an excuse so that can celebrate and . . ."

"You have my word," he cut off her adorable ramble as he held his finger to her lips.

"I need you to be on your best behavior," she demanded, "No Geisha girls for you."

"You have nothing to worry about," he chuckled lightly, "My body is incapable of betraying you. We both know that. The same goes for you, no infatuations with cute professor's or Michael Kors assistants."

"I promise," she vowed.

"I love you," he proclaimed.

"I love you," she nodded.

With one last kiss, he quickly broke free of her arms and stepped onto the elevator. He couldn't turn himself around until he knew the doors were closed. He couldn't bear to see what he was sure would be the look of total agony on her face.

"Chuck," Serena stated sympathetically as he stepped off the elevator, tears welled in his eyes. He called his stepsister the previous day, nearly begging her to come take care of Blair after he left. He didn't want her to be alone on this day.

"See to it that she gets this," Chuck requested as he handed her a handwritten note he'd been crafting over the week as he prepared for his departure.

"Of course," Serena nodded.

"Thank you for agreeing to do this," he responded with a grateful tone.

"It's what best friends do for each other," Serena waved off his gratitude. "Have a safe trip and hurry home."

"Take care of her, please," he demanded as she caught him off guard with a hug.

"Don't worry," Serena reassured him, "We'll get her through this."

Chuck nodded as he left the lobby and stepped into the awaiting limo as Serena stepped onto the elevator and prepared herself for what she was sure was a heartbreaking scene. Sure enough she found Blair collapsed on the floor, sobbing hysterically.

"Oh, B," Serena sighed dramatically as she picked Blair off the marble floor.

"He left me," Blair stated, her eyes frantic as she clung to Serena.

"Chuck hasn't left you, not for good," Serena assured her, "We both know he's coming back as soon as he's able."

"Move, Serena," Blair shoved her away. "I can catch him at the airport and stop him from leaving."

"B, listen to yourself, look at yourself," Serena shook her, "You have to get a grip. Chuck's right. You've completely forgotten who you are. You need to learn to live without him. He consumes you in a way that is no longer healthy. You have to pull yourself together. This may very well be the hardest thing you ever do, but you'll be a better person for it, and your relationship with Chuck will be that much better because you'll be his equal not his arm candy."

"I'm not his arm candy," Blair sobered up quickly.

"Then pick yourself up and start acting like the Blair Waldorf we all know and love. Recognize that he's gone, only for awhile and move on." Serena scolded her gently. "You have other things in which you can focus on right now, your friends and school work. You want to be a designer, right?"

"Yes," she nodded slowly.

"Then put all this energy that you're wasting on obsessing about missing Chuck who has been gone for all of five seconds and channel that into your school work."

Blair nodded as she dried her eyes.

"Now get into your bedroom, change your clothes, and gather your purse. I'm taking you for a surefire pick me up, shopping," Serena announced.

Blair nodded as she disappeared into her bedroom.

Serena remembered the note that Chuck had given her and set it on the hall table next to Blair's handbag. Surely she'd see it when she grabbed her bag or at the very least when she returned that evening.

* * *

Blair burst to the penthouse after a marathon day of shopping and pampering. Serena had insisted they get facials, manicures, pedicures, and body massages before they'd embarked on an epic shopping adventure. She was loaded down with packages from all her favorite boutiques, but somehow still managed to wrestle her cell phone out of her bag to read Chuck's text message that he was in his apartment and waiting anxiously to speak with her. She quickly unloaded her belongings, inadvertently knocking the envelope Serena had left for her earlier to the floor.

"Chuck," Blair gasped breathlessly as she plopped herself down in the leather chair at his desk where the video conferencing equipment had been set up by Eugenia earlier that week.

"Hello, Beautiful," Chuck greeted her, relieved to see a smile on her face instead of the mess of tears he'd expected. "Am I calling at a bad time?"

"Don't be silly. How was your flight?" she asked as she touched the screen to trace the outline of his face.

"Nothing special," he shrugged.

"And your apartment," she prompted.

"Adequate, but missing your personal touches," he responded as he turned around to take his surroundings. He hadn't taken much time to take it all in as he was anxious to see her. He wouldn't admit it to her, but he was seriously reconsidering his plan. Boarding the plane and realizing he'd be flying by himself brought him back to the time in the not so distant past when he saw himself alone with no family or friends.

"I slipped in a portrait of myself into your suitcase when you weren't looking. Be sure to put it by your bed so I'm the last thing you see before you go to sleep and the first thing you see each morning," she told him. He chuckled softly. She'd tried to be sneaky, but he'd watched her slid the framed picture in between a pile of his clothes as she helped him pack.

"Did you do anything exciting today?" Chuck inquired curiously.

"Don't even pretend that you didn't send Serena to rescue me," Blair rolled her eyes.

"I just didn't want you to be alone today," he explained, "I know how hard this is going to be on you."

"It's hard on you too," she replied, "And I didn't make it easy for you to leave this morning. At least I have my best friend to cheer me up. How are you going to get through this?"

"Work," he told her simply.

"Is that going to be enough?" she asked skeptically.

"Yes," he nodded. "You didn't answer my question though. Did you and Serena do anything exciting today, beyond the facials?"

"How did you know I had a facial?" she raised her eyebrow towards him curiously, "Did you get your PI to start following me again?"

"Of course not," he rolled his eyes, "That ending well over a year ago. You're glow tipped me off. You always have this certain glow when you and Serena get facials. I can see it through the screen."

"Facials, manicures, pedicures, massages, and shopping," she listed, "I found the most exquisite blue gown for the Bass Christmas Gala. It might be a little last season by then, but I still had to have it. I can't wait for you to see me in it."

"And I can't wait to help you out of it," he chuckled softly. "Sounds like a productive day. Pampering and shopping, what more can a girl ask for?"

"I'm not going to answer that question," she informed him as she glanced down at her watch. She had a ton of homework she'd put off to spend every last possible second with him before he left.

"You have work to do," he concluded as she frowned slightly.

"Unfortunately," she nodded.

"I have things to do myself," he nodded. "Sleep well, Beautiful."

"You too, Handsome," she smiled. "I love you."

"I love you," he responded with his own smile.

They both sat quietly for a few moments in front of their video-conference equipment after they'd ended their communication. Though they were a half a world apart, they could still feel each other's presence.

Blair took a few moments to reign in the tears she felt ready to escape. She was determined to make the most of this time apart from Chuck. She'd force her professors to find a letter grade above an 'A' with her level of dedication she would put into her studies. Her school friends would see a new side to her beyond their once a week nights out. If figuring out who she was meant she and Chuck could be together sooner, she would do whatever it took.

**TBC . . . **

**Reviews are welcome. I'm sending out the invites.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. They belong to Cecily von Zeigesar and The CW.**

**I want to send out a great big thank you to those of you that took a few moments to review. The comments keep me going.**

Chuck fell into a comfortable routine in Japan. Weekdays were filled with what was appearing to be a never-ending quest to merge two independent companies into one, but what was once merely a complicated task had become an epic headache. Weekends, when he took time off, he took in the local culture and tried to nurse his homesick heart. Conversations with Blair weren't as frequent as he'd hoped. Her school schedule and social calendar appeared to be fuller than he'd ever seen. After one slightly uncomfortable video date, she'd even had to cancel their Thursday date night two weeks in a row because of schoolwork.

What kept him going was the knowledge that he'd be flying home to visit her soon. He only hoped that she found time in her busy schedule to spend with him.

He'd done a lot of soul searching during his many nights alone with bottle after bottle of scotch. He liked the man he'd become with her at his side because he loved being in love with her. Whatever he'd become he'd relish his role as long as she was at his side. Unfortunately this self-reflection and self-acceptance didn't dim the task at hand. He still had a job to do, and a very important one at that. His only salvation was going to be his visits home.

"Blair, you're like a kid in the candy store today," Serena laughed as Blair flew through the lingerie racks at Chuck's favorite store.

"Chuck's jet lands in three hours," Blair sung out, "Of course I'm happy."

"I'll be the first to admit that I'm very impressed with how you're handling this separation," Serena admitted, "It's been a month since you've been together on the same continent, and I have yet to witness you moping around in his absence."

"It's not easy," Blair admitted. She'd never tell Serena, but she saved her moping for the evenings in which she was by herself. "But you were right. I forgot for a while who I was. I can still be Blair Waldorf while I'm in love with Chuck Bass."

"Chuck Bass!" a nearby blonde patron growled in disdain, "Oh, Sweetheart, don't go wasting your time and heart on him. He certainly doesn't have one of his own."

Blair wanted to ask how this bottle blonde would know, but her best friend beat her to it.

"How do you know Chuck?" Serena inquired.

"We dated a while back," the blonde responded, "If you could even call what we did dating. After an hour or so in bed, he swiftly kicked me out the door. It certainly leaves a lot to be desired. Not that I was surprised. This is Chuck Bass after all."

"How far back?" Blair forced out in barely more than a whisper. Her face was ghostly white and her heart was hammering in her chest so hard it drowned out the sound of her own voice. Could Chuck have cheated on her?

"I haven't a clue," the woman scoffed. "It wasn't worth remembering."

"How long!" Blair snapped. Her raised voice silenced the entire store as everyone stopped what they were doing to look at her.

"Blair," Serena tried to calm her down as she watched Blair's face flush in rage.

"A year or two," the blonde shrugged, "What's the difference?"

"Is it one or two?" Blair persisted. Two years wasn't a big deal, but if it was one, she was going to rip out the blonde's hideously bad hair extensions, roots and all.

"Why the hell do you care!" the blonde snapped back. "This is Chuck Bass. It's always been a steady parade of women in and out of his bedroom."

"That parade stopped well over a year ago," Blair informed her, "So if you slept with my boyfriend while he was my boyfriend, we have a serious issue."

"It was winter," the woman was able to recall. "He rambled on the entire time about some ridiculous dance and finding some pathetic loser a date."

The blonde's head snapped to the side as Blair slapped her sharply across the face. "Stay away from Chuck Bass," Blair hissed through her teeth before she spun on her heel and walked out of the store with as much dignity as she could muster as all eyes followed her out.

"B, I'm so sorry," Serena responded once she managed to catch up with her best friend.

Blair was surprisingly laughing hysterically.

"What's so funny?" Serena frowned, "You just found out your so-called loving and committed boyfriend has cheated on you."

"No, he didn't," Blair wiped a tear out of her eye. She was laughing so hard she was crying.

"But that woman said . . ." Serena began in confusion.

"She was talking about the snowflake dance when we were in high school. I was the one he was trying to find the date for. It was one of our stupid games," Blair explained as she continued to giggle incessantly.

"Then why did you feel the need to slap her?" Serena asked in confusion.

"Because she called me a pathetic loser, and she's clearly a slut. Any woman that doesn't remember when they've had the best sex of their life clearly deserves to be slapped," Blair explained, "To jog her memory if anything else."

Serena's face twisted in disgust, "Ewww."

"Come off it, S, Chuck is a fantastic lover," Blair announced.

"You need to stop," Serena commanded her best friend as she covered Blair's mouth to stop her from elaborating. "Those words are never to leave your mouth ever again. He may very well be the best sex I've never had, but I do not want that image in my head. The fact that you sleep with him on a regular basis turns my stomach enough."

"Not nearly regular enough lately," Blair giggled in excitement at the prospect of being in Chuck's arms in a few short hours. "But that will change tonight."

"Not another word," Serena silenced her with a stern look. It would be hard to stay mad for too long. Blair's infectious smile was difficult to ignore.

"That woman did me a favor," Blair sighed happily as she linked her arm with Serena's as they walked down 5th Avenue. "Lingerie would have been a bad idea for this evening. It would have slowed us down. Perhaps just a scarf and a smile is all I need."

"Here comes my lunch," Serena moaned as she put her hand to her stomach in hopes of calming it.

"I should be returning to the penthouse. I'll want to make sure that everything is perfect for Chuck's return," Blair announced as she spotted the familiar limo waiting patiently for her.

"A scarf and a smile is I'm sure all he needs," Serena responded as Blair slipped into the door her driver was holding open for her. Serena instantly regretted saying the words as soon as they left her lips as her stomach did another flip flop.

* * *

"I was beginning to worry that you'd forgotten I was coming home," Chuck's voice greeted her as she stepped off the elevator, loaded down with bags from her day of shopping with Serena.

"Chuck!" she exclaimed happily as she threw herself into his arms as several bags flew in so many different directions, "What are you doing here?"

"If you'll remember, I live here," he reminded her just before his lips began to ravage her. There was a mutual moan of pleasure as the familiar sensation of their lips dancing against each other.

"Too long," she sighed as they broke apart to breath. Her head came to rest against his shoulder as they held each other tight. They both expected a frantic dash to the bedroom but the reality of a month apart had them virtually frozen in place.

"You're so warm and inviting," he added as his fingers reached out to caressed her jaw line slowly. "I'd forgotten this feeling."

"How did you get home so soon?" she inquired as she swayed gently in his arms. "When I spoke to Eugenia earlier, she said you shouldn't be landing for another few hours. I had plans I'm no longer prepared for."

"Eugenia told you what I told her to tell you," he informed her, "And I didn't want plans. This is all I want . . . you and I in each other's arms for the rest of the weekend, preferably in far less clothes."

"Those were my plans," she told him as she slapped his chest lightly. "I was going to greet you with no clothes."

"Beautiful, I haven't made love to you in a month. I'm so turned on right now that even your playful slaps could have me exploding into my pants. How about we move this to the bedroom?" he suggested as she began nibbling on his ear as he ground his hips against hers to prove his point.

"How about you take me right here, and then we move to the bedroom?" she whispered suggestively as she continued tormenting his lobe.

"Wall or table?" he inquired as he looked for a suitable surface for what would most likely be the quickest of quickies.

"Surprise me," she grinned.

"Table," he responded, "I'm not sure how long my legs will hold me this time, and I want to make sure I get to the good part."

"It's all the good part with you," she moaned as he backed her to the table as they began unbuttoning each other's shirts.

"Start with the pants," he suggested. "We'll get naked later. I need the good part now."

"You're a little impatient today, Bass," she smirked as she shifted course as he lifted her skirt up her hips to reveal the vibrant red La Perlas.

He groaned in appreciation at the sight, "You have no idea." He quickly lifted her to the table just as she shoved his pants to the ground. He worried for a moment that the table might not be able to hold their combined weight but that thought disappeared as she began stroking him with her hand.

"Such a good little soldier," she admired him, "Always at full attention in the appropriate situations."

"Christ, Waldorf, don't do that," he growled as he knocked her hand away, threading his fingers through both of her hands before she could take a hold of him once more. "This is going to be quick enough without you speeding this along."

She chuckled in amusement as he climbed up on the table and forced her to lay back. Her legs wrapped around his hips instantly.

He didn't have the patience to remove her panties so he merely pushed them aside as he pushed into her sharply. They both cried out in satisfaction. They rose and full against each other with a speed neither knew they possessed.

He was about to encourage her to let go when he heard the familiar moans that told him she was so close. His smirk turned sinister as he knew exactly what he needed to do to get her to the end.

"Chuck," she moaned out as she searched for any unclothed piece of skin she could latch on to as she felt the familiar tingle beginning to build. His neck was the only thing she could find as she latched onto the nape of his neck, her fingernails digging in just slightly as she exploded with a satisfied cry.

"Finally," he groaned as he exploded within her. He collapsed against her warmth. Their frantic breathing was the only thing they had left.

"Welcome home, Chuck," she responded happily as she savored the weight of his body on top of hers. "Home for ten minutes and you've already ruined yet another pair of La Perlas."

"Not to worry," he kissed the tip of her nose. "I came home bearing gifts."

"I know," she laughed, "I can feel one inside me right now."

"More than just one," he laughed along with her. He hadn't realized how much he missed that sound, not just of her laugh but his.

"I missed you," she stated what was so obvious, "And not just the sex. I missed sleeping next to you, waking up in your arms, sharing meals with you, talking about our days, weekend retreats . . ."

"I missed you too," he smiled as he put a finger to her lips to silence her adorable ramble. "I missed your cold toes waking me at night, the cute little sounds you make in your sleep when you're dreaming about me, the seductive way you eat a meal, coming home in the evenings to have you waiting for me with open arms, even after a monstrous fight. I even missed the fights."

"And the making up afterwards," she sighed happily, "And I'll have you know, I'm mad at you."

"Is that so," he chuckled in unbelieving amusement.

"Yes," she insisted as she glared devilishly at him, "I had plans to greet you with, and all of that thought and preparation has now been wasted."

"Are you really angry with me or merely looking for makeup sex because as we just demonstrated reunion sex is just as good."

"I haven't decided yet. Perhaps a few more rounds of reunion sex will convince me."

"Hold on tight, Beautiful," he commanded as he found his footing with her still wrapped pleasurably around him.

"I have no thoughts of letting go."

* * *

"These plans of yours . . . are you willing to share?" he inquired as his fingers trailed along her abdomen in delicate patterns. They'd expended all the energy they could for the moment, yet his fingers still itched to touch her.

"Perhaps the next time you come home, unless I get to keep you," she told him. The hopefulness in her voice was impossible to ignore. He winced at the thought that he'd have to disappoint her.

"I leave late Sunday evening," he told her regretfully. "The merger is nearly complete, but the additional analysis is taking far longer than it should. I'm actually bringing two additional executives with me when I return. I'm hoping additional help will speed things along so I can be home for Christmas."

"Christmas! You said six months was the maximum. Christmas is like eight months away," she reminded him.

"Which is why the additional executives are coming with me," he told her.

"We're spending Christmas with Daddy and Roman in France again this year," she reminded him.

"I remember," he assured her, "And I cannot tell you how much I'm looking forward to a French Christmas this year."

"And my father is so anxious to have us back at the vineyard, though Roman has said that Daddy has installed a lock on his office door, so we may have to get creative and find new locations for our midnight rendezvous," she replied.

"I'll work on my lock picking skills in my free time," he chuckled. Blair had told him that her father was okay with their midnight excursions as long as he was kept in the dark, but Chuck knew better. Harold would never be okay with him making love to his little princess on his property no matter how discreet they were.

"You must be hungry," Blair concluded as she looked to the clock on the nightstand. Their chef was sure to be finished with his culinary masterpiece.

"American food never sounded so good," he groaned, "Even if we have to leave this bed to partake."

She pouted as he rose from the bed and snatched their robes from the closet.

"How are your classes going?" Chuck asked as they settled at the dinner table where their chef had laid out dinner only moments earlier at Blair's request.

"Good," she smiled happily as his welcome home feast was revealed as he lifted the silver covers off their dishes and smiled as one of his favorite meals was revealed. He felt his mouth begin to water as he took his seat and dove in with gusto. "I've added a few accelerated courses while you're away."

"I hope you're not taking on too much," he frowned. It would be just like her to bury herself in additional work and avoid the issues they'd agreed to work on.

"Don't worry about a thing, Bass. I have everything under complete control. I just shifted my girl's night to Friday, so I have the entire week to study. It's worked out well," she explained.

"Well enough to make permanent?" he inquired with a slight sense of dread. He'd loved the arrangement how it was before he left. Friday nights could lead into Saturday mornings when they were in their usual mood and although Thursdays were their one set night, Fridays had been their usual follow up.

"Girls' night will return to Wednesday after this semester," she assured him, "I only changed it because you're away."

"How was Michael Kors's party last weekend?" he inquired. They hadn't had a chance to discuss it in detail during their busy week.

"Amazing, as expected. Everyone who matters in the fashion world was there. Lucy introduced me to everyone. It was the perfect introduction, well almost perfect. Perfect would have been if I had my best accessory on my arm, in the form of my powerful CEO boyfriend."

"I was there in spirit," he responded as he reached out and gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

"Michael says hello, by the way. He missed you," she smirked, "He's going to be in Japan in a few weeks. Don't be surprised if he tries to arrange a lunch."

"I'll keep that in mind," he smirked.

"I ran into an old friend of yours today while shopping with Serena for your welcome home present," Blair eyed him, her voice laced with sarcasm.

"Blonde, brunette or red-head?" he inquired as he sat back in preparation for what was sure to be the beginning of an argument.

"Blonde, bad extensions, fake nails, crooked teeth, awful memory," Blair replied, "You had me worried for a minute as she couldn't remember when she had the best sex of her life."

"You didn't doubt me, did you?"

"I tried not to," Blair replied, "But I did. I'm sorry."

"There are going to be girls that come out of the woodwork from time to time, but that's long behind me," he told her as he took her hand into his. "I will never put what we have in jeopardy."

"I try to keep that in mind," she nodded, "I really do, but it just came out of nowhere today. One minute I'm happily talking to Serena about how you being on your way home, and then the next minute this woman is talking about the hour she spent with you before you kicked her out. My heart just stopped. It was only an hour. Surely you could have found an hour."

"It was always only an hour," he told her as he brought her hand to his lips and kissed it softly, "That's all I was able to tolerate the mistakes I brought into my bed."

"I'm sorry," she smiled somberly. "I know I should trust you. You haven't given me any reason to doubt that you've been anything but faithful to me in the nearly two years we've been together."

"And I won't," he assured her as he kissed her hand again, "I love you. I never want a life without you."

"I love you too," she smiled, "And I feel the same way."

After their meal had been devoured they found themselves back in bed where they stayed until Chuck had to return to the airport. It was hard to let Chuck leave, but she was less tearful this time and didn't fall to the floor.

**TBC . . .**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. They belong to Cecily von Zeigesar and The CW.**

"How's my favorite assistance?" Chuck inquired as he called his assistant from Japan. It had been four months since he'd found himself in Japan. He was surviving his separation from Blair, but just barely. The only thing that kept him going where the monthly trips he made home. They had always managed to have a wonderful time together, albeit entirely too short, but now that he was back in Japan he couldn't get home to her fast enough. The fact that he could see the finish line and it was taunting him was not helping matters.

"Busier than ever actually," she replied in a frazzled tone that was unlike her usual nature. She was always the calming influence in the office when he felt his temper flair. "It seems with my boss out of the country everyone assumes that I need additional work to keep me busy."

"Pull rank," he suggested, "You know I'll back you."

"If only it was that easy," she sighed. "How's Japan?"

"Japan," he shrugged even though he knew she couldn't see him, "Far away."

"You sound lonely, Chuck," Eugenia noted what she heard in his voice.

"That's because I am," Chuck sighed, "I called Blair before I call you, and per usual, she was too busy to talk for too long."

"This is what you wanted," Eugenia reminded him, "You wanted Blair to find her place in your world."

"That's what Blair wanted," Chuck replied, "I can't fault her for having a life, but I'd like to know that I'll still fit into it when I return."

"She's busy now because you're not here," Eugenia tried to reassure him. "She told me herself that she keeps herself busy to keep herself from missing you, that she could easily sulk every minute of every day, but that it wouldn't get you home any sooner, which is what she wants."

"That's what I want too," Chuck nodded.

"How are the juniors working out?" Eugenia asked in reference of the two junior executives that Davison had selected to accompany Chuck back to Japan.

"It's good to have some English speaking companions," Chuck laughed, "At least they understand sarcasm."

In truth, the two junior executives were a welcome addition. Prior to their arrival, he was by himself most days at the office and in the evenings. Now, he had someone to chat with during lunches and in the evenings about something other than business. Being the seasoned world traveler that he was, he'd never had trouble finding company in his playboy days, but it hadn't been the type that Blair would approve of.

"I can get you some more company if you think you need it," she offered.

"No, it would just be more minds trying to gum up the works. The three of us is all I need," he assured her.

"Any idea how much longer you'll need to stay?" she broached the subject she rarely touched on as she knew it made him angry because the answer was never concrete.

"Through the first month of the summer," Chuck responded, "My goal right now is to be home before the Fourth of July holiday weekend as it's the only real time Blair has off."

"Did she get the Kors internship again?" Eugenia inquired. She knew Blair had applied, but hadn't heard the outcome. Blair had been too busy for even Eugenia to pin down for too long.

"She did," he nodded, "She knew she'd be welcomed back as Michael told her as much when she finished up her internship last August, but she looked at others to see what was available. She had several offers but decided to return to where she felt most comfortable. I think her mentor had more to do with the decision than anything. She feels a certain sense of loyalty to the woman."

"Which I'm sure you can appreciate," Eugenia stated. Chuck's sense of loyalty was one of the first things she'd learned about while working with him. He was fiercely loyal to those who were loyal to him.

"I do," he replied.

"Are you okay, Chuck?" Eugenia inquired, "It's more than loneliness in your voice."

"I appreciate your concern," Chuck found himself smiling.

"Loneliness and homesickness can be a dangerous combination," Eugenia stated. "You and Blair have a very firm foundation. I wouldn't be worrying about that if I were you."

"I'm not, and I'm fine," he replied, "I should let you get back to work. I meant what I said. Pull rank if you need to. I'll back you the entire way."

"Thank you, _Mister Bass_," she responded playfully.

She heard his growl of annoyance as he ended the call, which made her feel a little bit better.

* * *

"How was the first day back?" Chuck inquired as he managed to tie Blair down to have a conversation with her after her first day of back as an intern for Michael Kors.

"It was the exact same as it was last year. They even made me hem the skirt by hand," she laughed, "But I won't be doing the same menial tasks I did last year. I'm going to be working with one of the fabric buyers this year."

"It's good to learn a different aspect of the business," he replied.

"That's what Lucy said," Blair laughed. "She said I've already endured the usual torture that scares fashionistas away and that it was time to learn another method. I'm going to be working for Samy Weston. I met him briefly today."

"Samy?" Chuck prompted her for more details.

"Horrible dresser, can't pull an ensemble together to save his life, but Lucy swears his attention to detail is one of the best in the business," she replied.

"Gay or straight?" he pressed, his voice tense in anticipation of her answer.

"Gay," she replied, "Very. Beyond flaming. Fireworks go off around him."

"Thank god," Chuck sighed in relief as he looked towards the heavens to give a silent prayer of thanks. Eugenia's story regarding her 'friendship' with her advisor's assistant still rang loudly in his ears.

"Take a deep breath, Bass," she laughed out, "You know you have nothing to worry about."

"I trust you, Beautiful," he responded automatically, "It's everyone else in this world that I don't trust. I know how easy it was to fall in love with you. It will never shock me if someone else does as well."

"It was easy," she responded, "That's funny, I don't exactly recall it that way."

"It was easy to fall in love with you, but harder than hell to admit," he elaborated, "I don't do feelings well. I don't wear my heart on my sleeve. It was easier to deny and try to ignore that to open myself up in that way. I still struggle with it."

"Even though you're immensely happy," she frowned.

"Because I'm immensely happy," he replied, "Happiness is a new concept for me."

"Is that why you're in Japan and not here with me?"

"Perhaps."

"How much longer are you going to force yourself to stay Japan?" she inquired, "Is there a finish line, or are you going to keep stringing me along month after month?"

"There is a finish line," he told her quickly, "We're targeting July 1."

"That's still six weeks away," she groaned as she looked at her day planner as she circled July 1 in bright red.

"It could be sooner," he responded quickly, "But July 1 is the drop dead date. If we aren't finished, we're coming home anyways."

"Promise," she demanded.

"Promise," he replied.

"Good because I miss you. I miss everything about you right now. I keep my sanity by staying busy, but the nights are lonely, the bed is cold, and I have a perpetual itch in need of scratching that only you can reach," she replied.

"Soon," he vowed. There was a silence between them but neither had the urge to fill it. It was nice to be on the same page for a few moments, to hear each other's breath. "I love you."

The simple declaration made Blair's smile widen. "I love you."

"It must be getting late," he began.

"Don't hang up on me," she cut him off as he sounded as if he was wrapping up their conversation. "Let me change into my nightgown, and then you can talk me to sleep. We can't be together in person, but we can in my dreams."

He had a million things he should have been doing at the moment. Mounds of paperwork that needed to be analyzed were sitting on his desk taunting him, but he could think of nothing else to do in that moment but fulfill her simple request no matter how long it took for her to fall asleep.

"Okay," he stated simply.

He waited for a few moments as she changed and got herself comfortable. Several of Shakespeare's sonnet popped into his head, all her favorites that he read over and over to her. When the sonnets were exhausted, he could hear her soft, gentle breathing. She was asleep. He listened quietly for several minutes, nearly falling asleep himself. "Sweet dreams, Beautiful," he whispered softly. "I love you, and I'll meet you in my dreams."

* * *

"It's rare I find an intern that works more hours than I do," Samy observed as he walked into his office early one morning, two weeks into her internship. She beat him into the office again even after working well into the evening the previous day. Lucy had given her a few assignments on top of her duties working with Samy at her request. She had to stay busy. "What time did you leave last evening?"

"I wasn't looking at the clock," Blair replied as she kept her train of thought on what she was working on.

"I know your mother," Samy stated, "Even Eleanor Waldorf takes evenings off."

"Eleanor Waldorf has a husband to go home to right now," Blair sighed.

"What about Mister Picture Frame?" Samy stated as he pointed to the platinum picture frame that was the first addition Blair made when she was assigned her desk.

"He's in Japan, on assignment," she sighed.

"How long has it been since you've seen him?" Samy inquired curiously.

"He was home a few weeks before the semester ended, but he probably won't be able to make it home again until July," she responded in disappointment.

"Is it serious?" Samy inquired.

"Very," she nodded as she spun her promise ring around her finger.

"You're a little young to be in such a committed relationship," Samy advised her, "Women your age should be playing the field, seeing what's out there, looking for what you want in a potential mate."

"I don't want to play the field, and I know what's out there. Everything I want, he has," Blair stated as she pointed to Chuck's picture, "What I want is unconditional love and support. He gives that to me, even if he's half a world away. "

"I don't know how many interns that I've had that has said that very same thing about there boyfriends in the beginning. By the end of the internship, their boyfriends have disappeared, and I'm left with nothing but a pile of useless mush," Samy responded.

"I promise I won't be one of those," Blair replied.

"If I had a hundred dollars for every intern that I've heard spew that nonsense," Samy chuckled sarcastically.

"Has anyone ever told you how cynical you are?" Blair inquired.

"I tell that to myself every morning when I first look myself in the mirror. It keeps me sane in this crazy world," Samy replied as he abruptly disappeared into his office.

Blair thought for a moment that she had overstepped her bounds. She'd only been working for the man for a short time. She'd been warned by Lucy not to get to personal with Samy or get him angry. He had a temper and a very short fuse. Lucy also said to not allow herself to be alone with him in the office. Blair had wanted to press Lucy for further details, but Michael had called Lucy away before she could. Unfortunately Lucy was now in Paris, and Blair was left to walk on eggshells. What was worse was that she'd inadvertently gotten personal with him, and now may have gotten onto his bad side.

"Waldorf, how about I treat you to lunch," Samy suggested as he popped out of the office a few hours later.

"No, that's okay," Blair responded. She heard a sudden nervousness in her voice that surprised her. "My friend is actually bring lunch to me today. We're going for a walk through Central Park. I've been cooped up for so many hours that she thinks I'm turning into a vampire. I'm going out in daylight to prove that I don't burst into flames or sparkle."

Samy shut his office door without further comment. When she returned from lunch with Serena, there were white roses on her desk. From the lack of a card, she knew they couldn't be from Chuck. He always ensured that he had full credit when he'd done something thoughtful and there was always a special touch added to ensure that they weren't merely an impersonal bouquet of flowers.

"Lovely bouquet, Waldorf," Samy stated as he strolled back into the office after his own lunch. "From your boyfriend?"

"No," she shook her head. "There was no card."

"Perhaps the florist forgot to include it," Samy suggested. "You should give them a call. You wouldn't want to short change Mister Picture Frame."

"No, it's okay," Blair shook her head, "They aren't from him. I'm one hundred percent certain of that. If he's sending roses, they would be red, and there would be something sparkly wrapped around the vase, like a new diamond bracelet. He's very generous. They might be from my father. He's the only other man that ever sends me flowers. He'd forget a card."

The next day, the roses were red and there were chandelier ruby earrings dangling from one of the sweet smelling buds. A few days after that, the roses were a darker shade of red, and there was a matching ruby necklace wrapped around the vase. The week after that, the roses were the deepest shade of red she'd ever seen, and once again a piece of ruby jewelry was wrapped around the vase in the form of a bracelet. Never was there a card attached. Never were they from Chuck.

"It's probably just a secret admirer," Lucy tried to reassure her as they sat down for lunch. She'd just flown in from Paris, but Blair insisted on meeting her for lunch. "That can happen, Blair. You're a very beautiful woman. You do turn heads."

"There from Samy, I know it," Blair whispered so nobody else would hear her. "I told him that Chuck would send me red roses and attach something sparkly. The next day there are red roses at my desk with ruby earrings. That's not a coincidence. I need for you to tell me why you warned me about getting too personal with Samy."

"It's nothing really," Lucy tried to assure her. "It's just the interns always tend to over-share with Samy. He doesn't like it. He especially hates having to hear about boyfriend trouble."

"He's worked for Michael for a long time, hasn't he," Blair stated after taking a deep breath.

"For far longer than I have. He has horrible taste in fashion. Everyone, including Michael, thinks so, but his eye for fabric is impeccable. Michael always said that if Samy wasn't around he'd be selling his designs out of the back of some sweaty van instead of the exclusive boutiques," Lucy stated.

"Well, he's starting to give me the creeps," Blair admitted. "He hasn't talked to me since the first bouquet of red roses arrived. He gives me a cold stare as he slowly makes his way into his office. He communicates only through email."

"You're just being paranoid," Lucy waved away her accusation.

"Famous last words," Blair grumbled as she pushed her salad around her plate.

She thought about telling Chuck about her suspicions, but she knew that was the worst idea possible. He'd take it the wrong way. He'd overreact. He'd try to swoop in and rescue her, and she didn't need to be rescued. She could handle herself in the business world. She'd ended last year's internship after an emotional outburst. She wasn't going to do that again. Michael was going to think she was a train wreck and never want to associate with her again. What would be worst would be that he'd spread the word. The fashion world was too small.

All roads seemed to lead to Chuck. Serena was another option, but not a viable one. She talked too much without thinking. She'd tell Nate or Lily, and they'd relay the information to Chuck. He in turn would freak out even more. Even her father would insist that she tell Chuck.

Perhaps Lucy was right. Maybe she was just being paranoid. Perhaps it really was Chuck sending the gift-laden flowers and not taking his usual credit. It would be just like something he would do, something against what she expected. She loved that about him. It kept her on her toes.

* * *

"Chuck, how's the sake?" Nate inquired as he always did when he spoke with Chuck during this business trip.

"Come find out for yourself," Chuck replied.

"Needing company?" Nate asked. "I heard you have a target date. Have you been physically preparing yourself for Blair's welcome home celebration? I'd be doing some of those Japanese exercises if I were you. It's going to be a good test of your endurance, I'm sure."

"I'm not worried," Chuck laughed, "There hasn't been an endurance test that Waldorf has put me through that I haven't passed."

"Then at least stock up on protection," Nate laughed along with him. "Less than a month. You should hear how excited Blair sounds when she talks about it."

"I haven't talked to her for a few days," Chuck admitted, "It's so hard to pin her down. She doesn't answer her cell phone at the office, and she won't even give me her office number."

"Serena is the only one that she's entrusted with that number," Nate chuckled, "Though I think I could charm it out of her if you really need it."

"As charming as you aren't, I'll just try Blair a little later. I know she's been working a lot of hours. Who knew a fabric purchaser could have such a demanding schedule?" Chuck sighed.

"I know," Nate laughed, "She works more hours in a week than you do. How hard is it to look at a piece of fabric and decide if a shirt can be made out of it?"

"I think there might be a bit more to it than that," Chuck told him.

"Whatever, Man," Nate replied.

"Tell me what's going on with you," Chuck requested, "I don't call you to discuss Blair."

"Sure you do," Nate laughed, "But things with me are okay. I'm taking a couple of summer classes."

"Because you're such an overachiever," Chuck responded sarcastically.

"Because my mother saw my semester grades and demanded that I raise my GPA, or she'd cut me off from my trust fund," Nate stated. "I have no recourse but to comply. Until I'm twenty-three and get full access to my trust fund, I'm at her mercy and by extension Grandfather."

"Because it's such a horrible life having so many people in your life that care about you and your future," Chuck responded dryly.

"It's so easy for you. Lily already gave you your trust fund," Nate responded. "You're set for life. Money will never be an issue for you."

"Yes, my father dying provided such the windfall for me," he replied sarcastically.

"Sorry," Nate apologized quickly, "I should know better. Family issues are a touchy subject."

"It's alright," Chuck sighed.

"Hey, I have some gossip for you," Nate announced.

"Gossip, really, have we turned into tea drinking old maids?" Chuck groaned.

"It's relevant," Nate assured him. "Dan's leaving New York."

"I can't say that I blame him. Brooklyn would have chased me out long ago," Chuck responded dryly.

"He says he wants to see the world and get some real world experience. He said his writing is just too safe. The best thing he ever wrote was about the trials of Charlie Trout," Nate responded.

"Right, the night I spent in jail with Humphrey," Chuck groaned at the memory. His father had really laid into him after he was bailed out of jail.

"While I'm sure he didn't relish the actual experience, he said he needs to see what else is out there," Nate continued to explain.

"Is Lily footing the bill for his adventure?" Chuck inquired.

"He actually joined some volunteer group that travels the world and set up schools in third world countries," Nate replied. "He leaves in a few days. Serena is pretty upset."

"How can you tell?" Chuck inquired, "She's always bubbly, even when her life seems to be coming apart at the seams."

"I mean it, Chuck. She's really upset. She's already planning on the two of us attending all these poetry readings and movie festivals, things she said that she did with Humphrey," Nate replied, "Like I'm some sort of substitute."

"I thought you'd give your left arm to be the object of Serena's affection," Chuck laughed.

"I thought I would too," Nate admitted, "But it's not who I am anymore. I guess I grew up."

"Could have fooled me," Chuck mumbled.

"I need your advice, Chuck," Nate demanded.

"I have no advice," Chuck responded, "Perhaps you just need to humor her. She has a short attention span. She'll forget all about this crisis when another surfaces."

"Come on, you have to give me more than that," Nate groaned, "You're supposed to be the sage master of women."

"I'm only concerned with keeping one woman happy and satisfied, and right now I'm not succeeding in either area," Chuck sighed.

"She understands," Nate stated.

"She doesn't, but thanks for trying," Chuck shook of his friend's assurance as he heard the tell tale beep that he was getting a second call. Looking at the caller ID it was Eugenia. He had to take it. "Don't you have some studying that won't get done?"

"Yeah, I have a call from Serena. Probably another movie festival that she's found to drag me to. Take care, Chuck," Nate stated, "We'll talk soon."

"Eugenia, to what do I owe the pleasure?" Chuck greeted his assistant as cheerfully as he could muster.

"Chuck, you need to get on a plane to New York as soon as you can," Eugenia stated, her voice tight and clearly on the verge of tears.

"What's wrong? What's happened?" Chuck asked as the pessimism reflex in him kicked in.

"It's Blair," she choked out, "She's in the hospital."

"Why is she in the hospital?" he gritted out as he felt his heart seize up. It was several moments before he felt it begin to beat again. He felt himself on the verge of passing out.

"She was working late with her boss. From what I was able to gather from Serena, her boss snapped and attacked her," Eugenia explained, "I have you on the first flight out of Japan. It leaves in two hours. There is a car waiting for you outside your building as we speak. I'm sorry, but there wasn't anything available in first or business class unless you wanted to wait until later. I didn't figure you'd be willing to wait."

"I'm on my way," Chuck told her as he dropped his phone, grabbed his ID's and was out his office door without explanation to anyone he passed.

**TBC. . .**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. They belong to Cecily von Zeigesar and The CW.**

**By popular demand. . .**

Chuck knew he was irritating the unlucky fellow sitting next to him on the transcontinental flight as he tapped his leg anxiously for the entire fourteen hours they were airborne, but he didn't care and the man never said a word. The expression on Chuck's face must have warned the man to keep his mouth shut.

"Where is she?" Chuck asked as he burst into the waiting room where all of Blair's family and friends were pacing anxiously. He'd threatened nearly everyone he'd encountered since his plane landed to get to Blair as quickly as he could.

"Chuck, calm down," Nate tried to pacify him immediately, "She's going to be alright."

"Where is she?" Chuck repeated as he was nearly hyperventilating. He was having a strange sense of déjà vu. He'd been in nearly this same position the year earlier, yet this time it was his worst fear coming true. She truly was hurt this time.

"She's asleep," Serena told him as she rubbed his back gently. Chuck shrugged off her touch. "The doctors say it's best to let her sleep."

"I need to see her," Chuck told her, his eyes wide in panic. "Quit procrastinating, van der Woodsen, and take me to her."

Serena nodded as she grasped his hand, motioning for Nate to follow. There were many looks of sympathy directed towards Chuck by the rest of the people in the waiting room, but he saw none of them. He had tunnel vision at the moment. His only thought was for Blair.

"It looks worse than it is," Serena stated as she stopped just short of entering the private room where Blair was resting, standing in front of the door so Chuck couldn't even get a look through the window.

"Move," Chuck demanded her as he tried to shove her out of his way.

"Chuck, listen to me," Serena held firm as she put her hands on his shoulders to still him, "It looks worse than it is. She has several bumps and bruises, a sprained right and a hairline fractured left wrist. Her ribs are bruised and her eyes are swollen, but there are no cuts that needed stitching, no internal injuries that required repair. She's going to be fine."

"Get out of my way," Chuck gritted through clinched teeth.

"Chuck, she's going to be just fine," Nate repeated as he spun Chuck towards him.

"Half of the Non-Judgmental Breakfast Club is going to be whipped out if the two of you do not stand aside," Chuck growled as he managed to push Serena out of the way as he forced his way into Blair's room.

He gasped at the sight before him as he halted in the door way. She looked so small in the bed at the moment. True to Serena's warnings she was bumped and bruised. There were bruises covering most of her face. She had a split lip. Her hair was a tangled mess, matted against the bed sheet. Her left arm was in a cast, her right in a splint. The rest of her body was covered by a sheet, which was probably a good thing as he already felt himself ready to vomit at the sight.

"Let her sleep," Serena whispered as he took a seat in the chair next to her bed and lifted her right hand to his lips and kissed it softly. He could see the bruises of her hand, defensive wounds from where she'd tried to fight her assailant off.

"Chuck," the trio heard Blair groan as she slept.

"I'm here," Chuck whispered as he rose up to kiss her forehead as she tried to pry her swollen eyelids open. "Just rest, Beautiful. I'll be here when you wake up."

"It hurts," she groaned as tears seeped out of her closed eyes, "Everything hurts."

"Shh, I'm here now. Just sleep," he coaxed her back to sleep. He startled both Serena and Nate with the gentleness in his voice. "You always feel better after a good night's sleep."

Blair nodded her head slightly and then nodded off once more. The trio sat in silence for several hours. Serena and Nate traded glances back and forth, trying to decide if they should vacate the room, but thinking better of it. Chuck held Blair's hand and whispered in her ear his reassurance that she was going to be alright and that nobody would ever be able to hurt her ever again.

"Chuck, why don't you go home and get some sleep?" Serena urged him after an undetermined amount of time. Chuck had been nodding off for the past hour only to wake himself when his head fell forward.

"I'm fine," he hissed quietly, so he wouldn't wake Blair.

"You're two minutes away from falling out of that chair," Nate backed Serena up. "You traveled for over fourteen hours worried out of your mind. We know you. You didn't get any sleep on the plane, nor would you even if you had managed to snag your way into first class. You're tired. Admit it."

"I'm not leaving," Chuck growled, his tone more menacing. Leaving was how Blair had ended up in the hospital. He wasn't making that mistake again. Had he been home he would have been able to protect her from the psychopath that had harmed his love.

"Chuck," Blair moaned as she squeezed his hand in her sleep.

"I'm right here," he assured her as he gingerly brushed the hair away from her face, pressing his lips to her forehead, "I'm not leaving you, I promise."

"Chuck, come on, you aren't doing her any good if you end up in a hospital bed of your own from exhaustion," Serena stated. "You need sleep."

"What I need is for you to get off my back," he hissed. "What I need is for you to tell me that this psycho didn't . . ." He couldn't even get out the words.

"He didn't force himself on her," Serena assured him. She could get the word out either. Chuck breathed a gigantic sigh of relief. "They checked."

"What happened?"

"I don't know," Serena stated, "Not much of it anyways. Lucy told the cops that Blair had been receiving extravagant flowers at the office. She was convinced they were from you, but Blair thought that her boss might be sending them."

"You should have told me about it," Chuck growled.

"I didn't know," Serena responded quietly. "She didn't tell me about them. She only told me a couple days ago that her boss was giving her the creeps and looking at her funny, and she swore me to secrecy. She didn't want you stepping in and overreacting."

"Yes, this is a much better alternative," Chuck motioned towards Blair lying in the hospital bed after being beaten to a pulp. "I'm so glad you were able to keep your word."

"Shut up!" Serena snapped, "I already feel horrible about this. I know I should have told you. Do you think it's easy for me to see her lying there and knowing that I might have prevented it if I'd told you?"

"Stop yelling," the trio heard Blair moaning as she tried to sit up to break up the argument.

"Hey, lay back down," Chuck told her gently as he coaxed her back down.

"Stop yelling at Serena," she demanded with a childish pout from their youth. "And tell her to stop yelling at you."

"I will," he nodded, "Go back to sleep."

"She's on some pretty good meds," Nate explained as he read her chart. She wasn't acting like her usual self, "She's going to be very loopy."

"Don't read that," Serena scolded him as she snatched the chart from him, "That's privileged information, you idiot."

"Make them stop yelling," Blair demanded as she looked to Chuck to rectify the hostility in the room.

Chuck turned and growled at the pair.

"You look like hell, Bass," she snapped as she was able to open her eyes just enough to take in his haggard appearance.

"I appreciate the concern," he smirked slightly as he heard Serena and Nate arguing back and forth regarding Blair's chart. He tuned them both out to focus only on her.

"I look like hell too," she added.

"You have looked better," he nodded as he touched her chin softly.

"You're supposed to lie," Blair hissed.

"I'm sorry," he responded as he kissed her lips gently, "I'm running on very little sleep. I'm not in the proper frame of mind to make up a convincing lie at the spur of the moment."

"The Chuck Bass you used to be could have done it higher than a kite, having not slept for days, falling out of bed with his pants around his ankles," she glared at him as much as she was able to.

"I have no response for that," he shook his head, "Other than I haven't been that Chuck Bass in a long time. Now go back to sleep."

"No," she told him defiantly.

"Then tell me what happened," he urged her gently.

"No," she clamped her lips shut.

"Well that went well," Serena snickered slightly in the background.

"Get some sleep," Chuck tried once more, "We can talk more in the morning."

"Uh, Chuck, it actually is morning," Nate told him as he showed everyone his watch.

"Can Blair and I have a few minutes?" Chuck requested as he tired of their intrusions. Neither Serena nor Nate moved. "Alone."

"Yeah, we should go check in with everyone," Serena nodded quickly as she yanked on Nate's shirt to get him to follow when he appeared to not be taking Chuck's not so subtle hint.

"Yeah, and I'll hit the cafeteria to see how decent the coffee is," Nate agreed as the light bulb finally went on.

"I'd prefer a latte," Blair spoke up.

"Not going to happen," Nate laughed as he and Serena left.

"Don't say it, Chuck," Blair snapped at him as soon as they were alone.

"I just wanted to know why you didn't tell me about your suspicions regarding your boss before it was too late for me to do something," Chuck asked her gently.

"Because I thought it wasn't worth mentioning. I thought it was all in my head," she replied.

"But you mentioned it to Serena and swore her to secrecy, so you knew there was something there," he told her as he grasped her hand lightly, caressing it softly with his thumb.

"Can we not talk about this right now?" she requested. "I want to go home."

"Not yet," he shook his head, "When the doctors come in we'll discuss it with them, but we'll go with their recommendation. . . How bad is it?"

"Broken wrist," she stated as she held up her left arm wrapped in the cast, "Sprained right wrist, bruised ribs, bumps and bruises on my face, torso, and arms, but no permanent damage."

"Serena said they checked for . . ." he still couldn't get the words out.

"He didn't rape me," she told him, her voice barely above a whisper as she averted her gaze to the tiled floor, "It may have been his intention, but I was able to fight him off."

"I'm sorry. I should have been here," he told her as he placed a finger under her chin to bring her gaze back to him.

"Yes, you should have been," she nodded slightly.

"I'm so sorry," he repeated.

Her lip quivered slightly as the recent event finally caught up with her. She'd stayed brave through most of the events that followed, but she couldn't any longer. Soon she dissolved into tears. Chuck climbed up onto the bed next to her and held her, careful of hurting her as his arms went around her midsection.

"I was so scared," she choked out as she burrowed her head into his chest.

"I know," he nodded slightly as he kissed her forehead.

"I just kept fighting, I couldn't let him . . ." she trailed off as the sobs came harder.

"Shhh," he tried to calm her down. "It's okay. He's not going to hurt you ever again. I'm going to make sure of that." His words felt hollow. He'd already let the worst possible thing happen to her. He was never going to forgive himself and there was something in the pit of his stomach that told him she was going to forgive him either. "We're going to get through this. I promise."

**TBC . . .**

**Thank you again everyone for those wonderful reviews. They mean a lot to me.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. They belong to Cecily von Zeigesar and The CW.**

"Now you have to listen to the doctors," Harold told Blair as she walked slowly into her home. Both he and Chuck were at her side.

Chuck could see each step pained her, but she was trying not to let anyone see her wincing. She was being stubborn. Her doctors had wanted her to stay in the hospital for at least one more day for observation, but she'd used her charms to get released. She'd even talked her way into getting the cast removed on her left wrist, opting for a second brace instead.

"I will, Daddy," Blair nodded.

"Charles, I'm counting on you to make her follow orders," Harold told her doting boyfriend.

"I will," Chuck nodded with a small smile.

"I'm going to go lay down," Blair announced as she touched Chuck's cheek softly.

"I'll come lay with you in a few minutes," Chuck told her as he kissed her forehead softly as he urged her towards their bedroom. She nodded slightly as she disappeared from their view.

"This is the calm before the storm," Harold warned the young man.

"I know," Chuck nodded, "When things sink in, I know she's going to start freaking out."

"Her doctors recommended a therapist for post traumatic stress," Harold stated.

"You know she'll never agree to therapy," Chuck shook his head, "She grumbles when she has to go to her therapist for her eating disorder."

"I know you love her, and I'm sure you think you can get her through anything on your love alone. This is different, Charles," Harold told him gently, "She was attacked. She has bruises covering nearly every part of her body . . ."

"I know that!" Chuck hollered, "And it could have been so much worse. He could have had a weapon, a knife or a gun. He could have pinned her down and for . . . forc . . ."

"She may not be the only one that could do with therapy," Harold told him softly as he reached out to touch Chuck's shoulder to calm him down.

"I should have been here," Chuck brushed his hand away abruptly. "She should have been able to come home every night and tell me about her day. She would have told me about the flowers. I would have gone ballistic, but I would have stepped in to ensure that this asshole knew to stay clear. He never would have had the chance to try this."

"This isn't your fault," Harold stated, "I've talked to the police. This man was dangerous. He's done this to other woman. Some weren't as lucky as my little girl. He was a ticking time bomb. It was only a matter of time before he struck again. I know this isn't a comfort to you, but he's in jail now. He can't hurt Blair again, and I know you well enough to know that you'll make sure he stays where he belongs."

"I want to confront him," Chuck scowled at Harold, his eyes dark with anger, his irises completely black.

"Now is not the time, Charles," Harold tried to calm him down. "Right now, my little girl needs you. I'm not going to be the one she going to turn to. We both know I haven't been that person in a long time. You are."

"Focus on Blair," Chuck replied.

"Focus on Blair," Harold repeated as he encouraged Chuck to take several deep breaths.

"I'm going to go lay with her," Chuck stated, "Feel free to stay if you like."

"No," Harold smiled, "Roman and I are staying with Cyrus and Eleanor. Blair needs her space. I just wanted to see that she was settled. We'll all stop by tomorrow to check on her."

"I'll walk you out," Chuck offered.

"Go to her, Charles," Harold guided Chuck towards his own bedroom.

* * *

Blair jumped slightly when Chuck crawled into bed next to her and lightly put his arm around her waist.

"It's just me," he whispered into her ear as he kissed her lobe softly.

"Sorry," she mumbled as she forced herself to relax into his embrace. "Did Daddy leave?"

"Yes," he nodded slightly as he buried his head in the crook of her neck, "He's staying at your mother's. He said he'll be back tomorrow."

"Are you able to stay for awhile, or do you have to go right back to Japan?" she asked quietly.

"I'm done in Japan," he told her quickly, "I'll be here as long as you need me."

"But you weren't finished," she replied. "Last we spoke, you said you probably would be pushing right up to the July first deadline."

"I'm done," he repeated, "Anything else that needs to be done will be done from here in New York."

"Good."

"Do you want to talk about what happened yet?" he tried to broach the subject gently.

"No," she shook her head slightly. "I just want to sleep, with you next to me, if that's alright?"

"Of course," he nodded. "Whatever you need from me, I'll do."

"Thank you, Chuck," she sighed.

"I love you, Blair," he replied.

Blair choked up at his proclamation. He felt her sobs begin before the tears started flowing. Chuck continued on with his proclamation, repeating it over and over, as he tried to help her navigate through the heartbreaking sobs.

Chuck awoke to a darkened room. He had no idea what time it was, but he knew he was alone in bed. Blair's side was vacant and cold. He was about to call out for her when he heard the shower running. Through the glass he could see her scrubbing her body vigorously with the loofah, suds flowing steadily down the drain. As he opened the door, she jumped in fright as she turned towards him, tears streaming down her face.

"Blair," he began.

"I can't get clean," she sobbed as she continued to scrub away, "I'm almost through the entire bottle of bodywash, and I can still feel his hands all over me. I need another bottle. Please get me another bottle."

"Blair, stop," he told her as he reached out to still her hands, "You're going to rub your skin raw."

"I can't," she responded as she fought free of his grasp. "I need to get clean. When I'm clean then maybe I can sleep."

Chuck stepped into the shower, completely clothed, and put his arms around her, stilling all of her actions. The loofah fell to the shower floor.

"Don't touch me," she screamed out as she thrashed around, elbowing him in the stomach as she frantically tried to break free. Chuck groaned at the contact and wanted to double over in pain but knew he couldn't. He had to focus on Blair. "Don't fucking touch me! I'm dirty!"

"You're not dirty," Chuck tried to assure her as he stepped a safe distance away from her, "Blair, you're beautiful."

"Look at me, Chuck, I'm covered in bruises from head to toe. I can barely see out of either eye, yet even I can see how hideous I look," Blair hollered.

"I don't see the bruises when I look at you," he tried to explain, "I see the woman that I love. I see the woman that I'm planning on spending the rest of my life with."

"You're a fucking idiot then," she snarled at him, "And you are completely blind. How can you say that you love me and want to spend the rest of your life with me, when you abandoned me for five months and let this happen to me."

Chuck froze at her words. The thoughts that he'd been having since the moment he got to her had been verbalized. They hadn't come from him, but her. She was blaming him as much as he was blaming himself.

"Get out," she demanded, "I can't handle being naked in front of you right now, and you touching me makes my skin crawl. Maybe you should sleep in one of the guest rooms right now."

"Okay," he nodded numbly as he stepped out of the shower and reached for the nearest towel. "I do love you, Blair. You can keep pushing me away right now, but now that I'm going to continue to be there for you. We are going to get through this. We are going to have that life together."

"Don't count on it," she muttered as she slammed the shower door shut.

* * *

Chuck laid in the guest bed, tossing and turning as he tried to get comfortable. Try as though he might, he just couldn't. The bed felt as hard as a rock even though it was the exact style mattress that he and Blair shared in their bedroom. Exhaustion appeared to finally be winning out though as he began to drift off into a light sleep. The door to the bedroom opened slowly. The light from the hallway hit his eyes instantly.

"Chuck, are you asleep?" Blair whispered softly as she crept closer to the bed.

"No," he replied, trying to keep his tone light so as not to frighten her. "I can't seem to get comfortable.

"Will you come back to bed?" she asked meekly. "I can't sleep. Every little noise frightens me."

"I thought you wanted some distance right now," he replied gently.

"I want sleep," she replied. Her voice broke as she added, "Please."

He nodded as she pulled the covers away from his body. He was dressed in the silk pajama bottoms he'd pulled from his dresser drawer earlier. He thought he remembered the top, but when he went to dress for bed, it had mysteriously disappeared. He hadn't wanted to wake her by going in search of the missing garment, so he decided to make due with what he had. As she grasped his hand and pulled him back to their bedroom the mystery was quickly solved as she was wearing the top. She must have snuck into his bedroom sometime before he'd gone to bed and taken it.

"I'm sorry about what I said earlier," Blair stated as she climbed into their bed, instantly curling herself against him, practically demanding that his arms wrap around her body. "Your touch doesn't make my skin crawl."

"You're going through a difficult time right now," he made the excuse for her. "Just know that I'm going to be there for you through all of this. Whatever you need me to do, I'll do it, even if it's sleep in the other bedroom for awhile."

"Just hold me," she told him as she rolled so her back was facing him. She pulled his arms tighter around her body until she felt his chest pulled in tight against her back. "I don't want to be alone right now."

"You will never be alone," he told her as he tentatively placed his hand over her heart. "Even when I'm not physically with you, I'm in your heart."

"Go to sleep, Chuck," she replied as her head fell back against the pillows.

"I love you, Beautiful," he whispered as his hand fell to a more neutral position. She nodded slightly in acknowledgment, but didn't repeat the words back. The silence in the room was deafening, but soon her rhythmic breathing filled the silence and he was able to finally drift off.

* * *

"Blair, Sweetheart," Eleanor greeted her daughter cheerfully the next morning. She and Cyrus had arranged with Chuck to stop by first thing in the morning. "You're eyes are open this morning. You're looking so much better."

The swelling in Blair's eyes had gone down considerably overnight. Her eyes, like the rest of her bruises were still a hideous purple, but it was progress that she was going to take, though when she looked in the mirror to get dressed, she wished her eyes were still swollen closed. She looked dreadful.

Eleanor went to hug her, but Blair stepped away. There was a pained expression on Eleanor's face as she did so, but Blair couldn't handle anyone touching her at the moment. Cyrus was very understanding and kept his distance.

"The swelling went down overnight," Blair nodded. "It was a miracle really. I woke up this morning and was able to see."

"Did you sleep well?" Eleanor asked as she followed Blair to the breakfast table where there was a gigantic spread of all Blair's favorite breakfast dishes.

Blair shrugged her shoulders and nodded, but she wasn't telling the truth. She'd woken up several times screaming into the darkness that surrounded her. Chuck tried to comfort her, but she flinched at his touch and moved herself as far away from him on the mattress as she could.

"Where is Daddy and Roman?" she asked.

"Your father had a little business to take care of this morning. They'll be stopping by as soon as it's finished," Eleanor explained. "Blair, I was hoping to take you on a shopping spree today. Your father graciously handed over his credit card and said we can go wild. What do you say?"

"No, thank you," she shook her head as she pushed her breakfast around her plate but none of it was going into her mouth.

"You used to love our crazy shopping sprees," Eleanor frowned.

"Not today," she shook her head again. "I'm a little tired. I think I'm going back to bed."

"Did you want me to come with you?" Chuck offered as she stood up.

"No," she smiled slightly as she caressed his cheek in a gesture of gratitude. Her fingers dusted along his lips for a brief moment before she left the room.

"Charles, how do we fix this?" Eleanor inquired as she looked to the man who she had despised over the course of the two years her daughter had been dating him.

"I have no idea," Chuck admitted. "One minute she's pushing me away. The next she's pulled me towards her. There really isn't an answer at the moment. I think we just need to wait this out and see where it takes us next."

"Did Harold talk to you about therapy?" Cyrus prodded gently.

"He mentioned it," Chuck nodded, "But I know Blair. She's not ready to talk about that just yet. She's not ready to talk about what happened yet with anyone, certainly someone that she doesn't know."

"Are you sure waiting is wise?" Eleanor pressed, "We waited with her bulimia and it was the worst thing we could have done."

"We wait," Chuck nodded.

"Okay," she nodded, "This is hard for me, Charles, but I'm trusting you to take care of my daughter right now."

"And I'll do everything in my power to assure you that your trust is not wasted," Chuck replied. "I love your daughter, Eleanor. I'm not going to put her wellbeing in jeopardy."

"I know, Charles," she smiled.

He looked at Blair's mother for a few moments. There were resemblances to her daughter throughout her features, but her smile and her eyes weren't two of them. Those were most definitely features she'd inherited from Harold.

"You must be happy to be home," Cyrus decided to change subjects.

"Thrilled to be home, yet not thrilled at the reason to be coming home," Chuck nodded.

"Are you here to stay?" Eleanor inquired.

"I'm finished with my trips to Japan for awhile," he nodded.

"Has anyone thought to ask Michael about Blair's internship?" Eleanor inquired.

"I talked to Lucy for a few moments at the hospital," Chuck nodded, "Blair can take as much time as she needs to recover. If she doesn't make it back for the rest of the summer, she'll be graded on the work that she's already done. Her work was exemplary, so her grade point average won't suffer. Michael is pretty concerned about her. He's in Paris right now, but when he returns Lucy said he might stop by to check on her."

"How is Blair going to get over this?" Eleanor gasped. "Good heavens she was attacked while at work by her boss."

"We'll just have to wait and see," Chuck responded as he stood up. "I'm going to go check on her. Will you excuse me for a few moments."

"Of course," Cyrus nodded.

* * *

"Chuck, I don't want visitors right now," Blair told Chuck when he entered their bedroom and laid out next to her, as he waited for some cue as to whether or not it was safe to touch her.

"Eleanor and Cyrus aren't visitors, Blair," he replied, "They're your family."

"I don't want family either," she shook her head, "Even Daddy. I don't want people to see me like this."

"It's okay to be a little self conscious right now, but you don't need to be embarrassed," he told her gently.

"Chuck, please, just keep everyone out," she demanded.

"What about Serena and Nate?" Chuck pressed.

"Them too," she stated after a moment of thought.

"Are you going to lock yourself away from everyone?" Chuck inquired. There was no anger or sarcasm in his tone. It was meant strictly as a question of information.

"Yes," she nodded.

"Even me?"

"I don't know," she replied, her voice breaking as she spoke.

"Blair, we love you, no matter how you look," he replied, "And we just want to help you through this."

"I know," she nodded as the tears tumbled down her checks, "I just don't know how any of you can help right now except to leave me alone."

"I'm not going to do that," he replied, "I'm not going to let you ignore this. It happened. We have to deal with it or it's going to drive us apart. I will never let that happen. I love you."

"Just go away, Chuck," she sniffled as she spoke. "Just let me deal with this in my own way."

"No," he told her, "Because your way is my way, and my way is to run from it."

"I just need time," she sobbed out.

"And you'll have that, but you won't spend that time all alone. I'm going to make you deal with this even if I have to take a leave of absence from Bass to do it."

"Chuck, look at me," Blair demanded, "Look at my face. I'm completely black and blue."

"But I still see my beautiful Blair," he told her as he caressed her face gently, "Your face will heal. The bruises will fade and disappear. Where will you be then if I just let you sulk all on your own?"

"I don't want your pity," she scowled at him as she brushed his hands away.

"You don't have my pity," he replied, "You have my love, unconditionally. You can scream at me and pound away at my chest as much as you want, but I'm going to be here every step of the way."

"Why can't you just do as I ask?" she growled.

"Because it's not going to help you," he replied. "We can go around in circles on this, but we're going to end up in the same place. Now get out of bed. Your mother and Cyrus came to see you, and Roman and your father will be here soon."

Blair nodded as she scooted herself off the bed. Chuck followed her out of the room as he prepared himself for the moment that she'd turn around and try to dart around him. He was very proud of her as she made her way back to the breakfast table without backing down.

"Feeling better, Sweetheart?" Eleanor inquired as Blair took her seat and did breakfast over again.

"A little," she nodded.

Eleanor's view of Chuck improved immensely as Blair was made to sit with them and face the situation instead of run and hide.

* * *

"How about a Hepburn marathon?" Chuck suggested after Blair's parents left for the day. She'd been quiet for most of the time she sat with her parents, but there were flashes of her usual self. He knew he had to keep her mind occupied with other things to keep her from losing herself in her own self-pity.

"Okay," she nodded, "Can we make popcorn?"

"Sure," he nodded, "Freshly popped or microwaved?"

"Fresh," she gave a tiny smile.

"Let's get out the popper," he added as he urged her towards the kitchen.

By the time they were done making the popcorn, half of it was black, the other half had remained unpopped, but Blair was laughing. It was worth the stench of burnt popcorn that hung in the air as they cuddled together in the media room with a bag of microwave popcorn and all of Blair's favorite Hepburn characters.

"Thank you for doing this, Bass," she smiled as they finished the last movie of the evening. She'd been drifting off, but trying to stay awake through the end. As the credits began to roll, he lifted her into his arms and was carrying her to bed.

"You're welcome, Waldorf," he replied as she ran her fingers through his hair. "Can we do it again tomorrow?"

"If you'd like," he nodded as he laid her in the bed.

"Will you stay with me tonight?" she looked up at him hopefully.

"Of course," he nodded, "You can even wear the night shirt you stole from me last night."

"I didn't steal anything," she gasped in mock surprise, "I merely borrowed."

"The one shirt that happened to go with what I was wearing," he replied.

"It's the one that is most comfortable," she pouted as she accepted the shirt he was offering. In truth it was the one that smelled most like him. She began unbuttoning her blouse, but froze as she looked up into his familiar eyes. "Will you turn around?"

"Blair," he began.

"Please," she pleaded with him as the tears glossed her eyes.

"I've seen the bruises already," he reminded her as he easily interpreted her hesitation.

"Please turn around," she requested again as a tear slid down her cheek.

Chuck bent down and kissed her cheek before complying with her request. She was doing as he asked and not hiding herself away from her problem like she wanted to. He had to give her this. He heard a bit of rustling as clothes fell to the floor, but it was the sniffles that stopped his heart. He had a horrible thought that perhaps he wouldn't be able to get her through this.

"Okay, I'm dressed," she told him as she scrambled under the covers to avoid him seeing the bruises on her thighs and legs.

"Blair, are you going to be able to get past this?" he inquired as he lay down next to her, on top of the covers so as to give her the space she seemed to need.

"Of course," she responded reflexively. "Chuck, this just happened three days ago. When the bruises go away, I'll be fine."

"Will you?" he pressed, "Is that really all it's going to take?"

"Yes, I'm hideous now, when I'm not anymore, I'll be fine," she stated empathetically.

"You're not hideous," he replied quickly. "You never could be, but you are bruised. That's the physical side of this, but there is a mental side to this that we cannot ignore. We need to talk about what happened."

"It's too soon," she shook her head.

"It's just me, Blair," he told her as he caressed her face softly, his fingers tracing around one of the many bruises. "You have nothing to be ashamed of with me. You have nothing that you have to hide from me."

"Just let this go for now," Blair hissed as she pushed his hand away roughly, "Let me deal with this in my own way. When I'm ready, I'll talk. Don't push me."

"We'll curb this discussion for now," he agreed, "But this isn't over."

**TBC. . .**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. They belong to Cecily von Zeigesar and The CW.**

**Not a lot of love for the last chapter. I hope you all enjoy this one a little more.**

The days passed and the bruises began to heal. The worst of the bruises on her arms and chest were easily covered with her clothing. Her makeup covered her face. She could go out into the world and no one would be the wiser, yet she remained inside. The more he pushed her to rejoin the world, the more she recoiled inside herself.

Every curtain and shade in their vast penthouse was drawn. Chuck felt as if he was inside a tomb. He hovered. He worked from home. Everything that he was supposed to be doing in Japan he was doing from his home office. Eugenia was a fixture at their home, yet she never saw Blair.

Serena was the only daily visitor that Blair allowed. She tried her best to cheer Blair up, but Chuck could see in her eyes that the smile was forced, the laugh was fake.

He was sleeping in the guest room with more regularity, and she wasn't coming to him in the middle of the night to pull him back to their bed.

"She needs some professional help," Serena mentioned to Chuck as he walked her to the elevator after another failed visit. "Chuck, she's not getting better. She's getting worse. The light in her eyes in dying."

"I know," Chuck growled before he took a deep breath to calm himself down, "I've tried. I bring it up every day. She locks herself in the bedroom until I promise to bring it up no more."

"I think it should no longer be her option," Serena suggested gently. "Perhaps you should call the therapist she sees for her bulimia. It may not be his specialty, but he has a rapport with her."

"You might be on to something," Chuck thought about it for a moment. He pulled out his phone and flipped until he found Doctor Boyd's number. He stared at it for a few moments.

"Don't wait too long," Serena urged him. "School is due to start in a month. She registered only because she could online, but if things don't improve she won't go."

Chuck nodded as she pressed the call button for the elevator. "I thought I could get her through this on my own."

"Your love for Blair is as strong as any love ever could be, but it's not superhuman. It takes work. Doing nothing right now is the same thing as killing it. It will be a slow, painful death, but I see it coming. I know you do too," Serena told him gently.

He nodded again as the elevator arrived.

"She loves you, Chuck. She needs you to fight for her," Serena told him as she left. "I know you can do it, and I think she does too."

* * *

"Blair, could you come into my office please," Chuck asked her gently. He found her in the media room watching her beloved Audrey. It was a daily occurrence. It was really the only thing she was doing at the moment.

She paused the movie and stood up, flinching when he put his hand at the small of her back. What was once a gesture of comfort clearly now made her skin crawl. Though it pained him immensely, he pulled his hand away quickly.

"Hello, Ms. Waldorf," Doctor Boyd greeted her cheerfully.

"What is he doing here?" Blair hissed as her head snapped towards Chuck, death in her eyes as she wanted to strangle the life out of him. She didn't even take a moment to acknowledge the doctor's presence in the room.

"I thought that perhaps you'd like a familiar outside face to talk to about what happened since you refuse to talk to me," Chuck explained calmly.

"If I won't talk to you, what makes you think I'd talk to anyone else," she snarled, the rage inside her building exponentially.

"I've let this go on too long," Chuck told her as he reached towards her, trying to calm her down.

"Don't touch me," she screamed out.

"Blair, I love you," he told her as the tears stung his eyes, "I love you so much, but we cannot go on like this. I'm sleeping in the guest bedroom. If I come within five feet of you, you run the other way screaming. We haven't made love in months. You haven't told me that you loved me in just as long. The only outside visitor you allow to see you is Serena, and you barely talk to her anymore. The bruises are healing; in fact, they're nearly gone. With the makeup you put on them every day, you can't even see them. You said once the bruises were gone, you'd be better, but you're not. You're isolating yourself. All you do is watch Audrey Hepburn and imagine yourself in that world. That world is fiction, Blair. You have your own world, and you are not living in it."

"The bruises aren't gone," she growled. "I just need more time."

"You've had two months," Chuck told her gently, "And we're further apart that when I was in Japan."

"This is about sex," she hissed, "You're horny."

"This isn't about sex," he shook his head slowly, "This is about being in love with my soul mate. She's three feet away from me, and I have never felt farther apart from her. My heart is aching because she's in pain, and she won't let me help her. Let me help you. Let me in. Tell me what happened."

"What good is it going to do? You can't change what happened. You can't go back in time and swoop in and save the day. I was stalked. I was harassed. I was attacked. He forced himself on me. He tried to rape me. He . . ." Blair broke down as the words came tumbling out.

Chuck stepped forward slowly. For the first time in two months, she allowed his arms around her and allowed him to comfort her as she sobbed against his chest. His heart soared. He thought this was going to be the breakthrough they needed, but suddenly she shoved him away.

"Don't touch me!" she hollered, "Don't ever touch me again. It's your fault! You should have been here! You should have protected me! You're supposed to love me and want a future with me, but you're no better than my father. You put half a world between us just like him."

"Blair, I . . ." he began.

"I don't want to hear it," she cut him off, "It's just an excuse like all the rest. You're fucking scared. You have no concept of what it takes to make a true relationship work. You got a little bored with your life and realized how much you've given up, so you ran. You'll do it again, and the next time you won't come back."

"How could you say that to me?" he gasped as her words slapped him in the face. "I didn't run. I had to go for business. It's a part of my job. It's unavoidable."

"You sent yourself to Japan for six months! You could have sent anyone else, but you chose to send yourself because you wanted to get away from me," she challenged him. "You said the reason you were sending yourself was because we're too dependent on each other. I took that to heart. I don't need to lean on you to get over this. The only person I need to get through this is myself."

"Mister Bass, would you allow me to speak with Blair?" Doctor Boyd finally spoke up.

Chuck wanted to ignore the doctor and defend himself, but he didn't even know where to begin. He merely nodded and left his office.

"Have a seat, Miss Waldorf," Doctor Boyd instructed her.

"I'm sorry you had to witness that," she blushed as she took a seat on the leather sofa, making sure that her long sleeves covered the bruises on her arms.

"It sounds like that was a long time coming," Doctor Boyd observed. "Are you angry that Chuck went to Japan?"

"Yes," she nodded. "How can I not be? He just up and left on a whim."

"And you feel that he was very selfish to leave you like he did," Doctor Boyd stated.

"Yes, it was," she continued nodding.

"And you feel that if he'd been here, you wouldn't have been attacked," Doctor Boyd stated.

"I know I wouldn't have been. Chuck would have put a stop to everything," she replied.

"And because he was in Japan, he couldn't do anything," Doctor Boyd summarized.

"I didn't tell him what was happening," she stated quietly.

"And why didn't you tell him?" Doctor Boyd inquired.

"I thought I was overreacting," she explained, her voice sounding small as she pulled at a loose thread on her sleeve, her eyes fixated on it so she wouldn't have to make eye contact. "I kept thinking that it was all in my head."

"What kinds of things did you think were in your head? What suspicions did you have that made you uneasy?"

"He looked at me funny," she replied. "From the start I felt uneasy around him. I thought at first that it was because he was my boss and controlled my designing fate. We were talking one day, and I told him about Chuck being out of the country. The next day, flowers were delivered, white roses. He tried to convince me they were from Chuck. When I insisted they weren't because Chuck would send red roses with a gift inside, the next day the roses were red with rubies. It was too much of a coincidence."

"And yet you didn't tell Chuck," Doctor Boyd prompted her, "Why?"

"I thought I was just being paranoid," Blair replied.

"But the flowers were real," Doctor Boyd reminded her, "You weren't imagining them. Your instincts are there for a reason, and you've usually trusted them."

"They were just flowers, totally harmless. I didn't think anything like this would happen," she replied, "I kind of thought that maybe he was just doing these things to cheer me up. It was obvious to everyone that I missed Chuck."

"You don't believe that," Doctor Boyd responded as he took a moment to observe her, "Tell me what you really were feeling."

"Embarrassed," she admitted, "He was old enough to be my father. Serena may be used to having older men send her flowers, but I'm not. I didn't know how to react. I thought I had strong gaydar because of Daddy, and I thought he was gay. He dressed and acted like he was gay. He was supposed to be gay."

"But he didn't act gay that night he attacked you," Doctor Boyd replied.

"No," she shook her head. "I'll never forget his eyes that night. They were black as coal. It's his eyes that wake me up in a panic and make me afraid to fall asleep."

"Chuck says you haven't talked about what happened with anyone," Doctor Boyd stated.

"Except the police when they questioned me right after it happened," she added quietly.

"Why haven't you talked to Chuck about it?" Doctor Boyd inquired, "From our previous sessions, you've indicated that it's with Chuck that you've always felt the most safe. Has this incident changed that?"

"I don't know," she replied, "Right now, I don't feel safe anywhere."

"If Chuck had been here would you have told him about the flowers you were receiving?" Doctor Boyd inquired.

"Of course I would have," she nodded.

"And you would have wanted him to do something to put an end to it," Doctor Boyd stated.

"I would have wanted him to make it clear that I was not available, but it a tactful way. I wouldn't have wanted him to ride in on his white horse as my knight in shining armor," she replied.

"You've always wanted that fairytale," Doctor Boyd reminded her.

"Fairytales are for little girls that can't fall asleep," she shook her head, "They aren't real and never should be presented to impressionable little girls as possible life options because the fantasy never happens."

"There was a time in the not too distant past where you thought you were living the fairytale. This penthouse was your palace, and Charles was your prince," Doctor Boyd replied.

"Things change," Blair shrugged.

"Can they change back?" Doctor Boyd inquired.

"I want them to," Blair nodded. "I still love Chuck, and I still want all those things that we've promised each other. I just don't see how I can get back there. I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel."

"You will," he assured her, "You went through a very traumatic event. It can take time to recover, but you can recover if you're willing to do the work to get there."

"I want to get there," she nodded, "I want to be held by Chuck without my stomach twisting into knots. I want to kiss him and not get the taste of vomit in my mouth. I want to make love to him, and not want to peel away my skin afterwards."

"Is that what you want or what you know Chuck wants?" Doctor Boyd prodded her.

"Chuck and I want the same things," she replied.

"Then we'll get you there," Doctor Boyd assured her, "I have a colleague that specializes in traumatic stress that I'd like to refer you to. She's an excellent therapist with a very high success rate. I think you'll work well together."

"So I'll have to start all over with her?" Blair frowned. "I want to get better. If I have to start therapy all over again, it's going to slow me down."

"I'll give her my notes," he assured her, "But you cannot rush recovery. You'll be better when you're supposed to be better."

"I don't feel like I've made any progress today," she continued to frown.

"But you have," he assured her.

"I've been thinking about something, and I'd like your opinion," Blair stated.

Doctor Boyd nodded and waited for her to continue.

"Before this happened, this penthouse has been the safest place in the world to me, but it doesn't feel that way right now. I think it would do me some good to move back to my mother's place, but I'm worried about how Chuck will receive the news. I stormed out on him one night after an argument. It devastated him so much that he got drunk and dislocated his shoulder," Blair explained. "I don't even know what he'd do if I actually moved out."

"It's all in how you present it," Doctor Boyd replied, "If you give him the reasons why you're feeling like you need to leave, and assure him that it's only temporary, he'll have no choice but to support you. He wants you to get better. It's the reason I'm here."

Blair nodded as she continued to fidget with the loose thread.

"He loves you, Blair. He'll understand that you need space."

* * *

"Chuck, I'm sorry about what I said earlier," Blair stated as she found him in their bedroom. He was pacing the room and muttering to himself. "I know you already blame yourself for what happened, but you didn't need me to pile on that blame. It's not your fault."

Chuck nodded in acknowledgement of her words, but he wasn't truly believing her statement. Of course he was to blame for what had happened. Had he been here, he would have been able to do something.

"Doctor Boyd asked me something today. I didn't tell him the truth, but you deserve to know it. He asked if I would have told you what was happening if you had been home. I told him I would have told you about the flowers and the uneasy feeling I had, but that isn't the truth. I don't think I would have. You would have insisted that I do something like you did the year before when I was supposed to go Human Resources after that boss humiliated me in front of co-workers, and I don't want to be known as that person that always runs to HR when things get a little tough," she explained, "So it's not your fault. It's nobody's fault really except the psycho who attacked me, and I know that you will ensure that he's properly punished."

Chuck nodded again. He'd already had a few conversations with the District Attorney's Office regarding the case.

"I'm not ready to talk about what happened," she added, "I don't know when, or if, I will ever be able to talk about it."

"Where does that leave us?" Chuck asked softly.

"I love you," she stated for the first time since her attack. "What happened doesn't change that, but I just don't know. Even the simplest of touches send me into panic mode, even when it's you touch me. A large part of our relationship is physical, and keeping you at a distance isn't fair."

"Let me decide what is fair," he told her.

"I'm going to move back into my mother's penthouse for awhile," she replied after a few moments of silence between them.

"You don't need to do that," Chuck stated, his voice panicked. "Our current sleeping arrangements are fine."

"They aren't," she shook her head, "I don't sleep well because I feel guilty for you sleeping in the guest bedroom. I make the trek to your room every night to bring you back our bed, but I can't make myself open the door because I cannot bear the thought of being touched, even accidentally, in my sleep."

"I don't want to lose you," he told her as he stepped towards her, tears welling in his eyes. This felt like a giant step backwards for them, even a permanent break.

"I just need a little space," she replied as she spun her promise ring around her finger, "Maybe given a little more time and space will help."

"I can give you space here," he assured her.

"Chuck, please," she pleaded with him as fat tears tumbled down her cheeks, "I'm not breaking up with you. I'm entirely too selfish for that. I just need time. We can still talk and see each other."

"What if this becomes permanent?" he shook his head, "What if you see that the grass is greener away from me?"

"The grass will never be greener away from you," she assured him as she stepped forward and forced herself to caress his cheek softly, wiping away the tears that began tumbling down his cheeks.

"Please stay," he whispered as he closed his eyes to savor her touch. It had been forever since he'd felt the gift of her skin against his.

"This is only temporary," she tried to assure him. "I've promised you a forever, and we're going to have that."

"You promised before this happened," he shook his head. "If you want to rethink your commitment . . ."

"Nothing has changed," Blair interrupted him quickly, "You and I both want the same things for our future. I just need to figure out how to get myself to a place that allows us to get there. I'm going to see a therapist. Doctor Boyd made me realize that I can't get better on my own, but it's not Doctor Boyd because this isn't his specialty. He's recommended someone who specializes in cases like mine."

"That's good," Chuck nodded.

"Will you be able to attend my session if the doctor requests it?" she asked as she cast her eyes to the floor.

"Of course," he told her.

"Will you help me pack?" she requested.

Chuck nodded as he kissed her hand softly and then disappeared into the closet to pull out her suitcase. When he came back there were more tears in his eyes.

"Chuck," she began as she pulled the suitcase out of his hand and hugged him. There was no recoiling reflex that kicked in. She was simply holding him, and he was holding her. She didn't hyperventilate, and her skin didn't crawl. "I'll get better."

He nodded against her shoulder.

**TBC. . .**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. They belong to Cecily von Zeigesar and The CW.**

**I cannot thank you all enough for your encouraging words. Makes me want to post chapters quicker. **

"You moved out!" Serena exclaimed as she found her best friend at her mother's penthouse the next day. The entryway was flooded with Blair's favorite flowers. If she had to guess, she would correctly assume that they were all from Chuck.

"It's just temporary," Blair explained as she curled herself back up onto the sofa as Serena plopped herself down next to her.

"Does Chuck know that?" Serena inquired as she looked towards the vast number of flowers around her mother's penthouse, "It looks like the peony fairy threw up in here."

"You've always had such a poetic flare for words," Blair groaned at the description.

"Are these all from Chuck?" Serena asked.

"Daddy sent me one bouquet," Blair replied, "Mother must have told him. I thought she'd be a little happier about my homecoming. Chuck has never been her favorite person, but she didn't seem as welcoming as I expected when I stepped off the elevator last night with the suitcase in my hand."

"Are you sure this is the best idea?" Serena pressed, "Being away from Chuck seems to be a step in the wrong direction."

"I just can't be around him right now," Blair admitted as she looked to the floor, "I feel too much pressure. He keeps hovering and looking at me expectantly, hoping that today would be the day that I would finally turn the page and get on with my life."

"You need to turn that page," Serena replied, "And go home. This is running away from your problems, Blair. This is just another way to ignore what happened. At least being around Chuck makes you think about what happened."

"I don't want to think about it," Blair hollered, "Don't you get it. I don't want to think about it ever again. I just want to forget about it."

"Come back to reality, Blair," Serena demanded, "It happened. You can hide yourself away from the world for as long as you want, but nothing will change what happened. Running away from the best person that has ever come into your life is cowardly."

"You need to leave," Blair narrowed her eyes as she stood up suddenly, leaving Serena sitting alone as she fled upstairs to her bedroom.

"Running isn't going to work," Serena stated as she barged into Blair's room. "You have never been happier since you and Chuck became you and Chuck. I'm not going to stand by and watch you let it crumble because you're too scared to face what happened. I get that you're scared. What happened to you was horrible. I can't for the life of me image what was going through your head in those moments you fought that guy off, but you have to face it, if not for yourself, for your future with Chuck. Without your influence, it's only a matter of time before he regresses to his usual self-destructive behavior. The only thing keeping him together is the promise you'll return. Nobody knows how long that promise will hold out."

* * *

"Is that?" Nate gasped as he stopped abruptly as he found Chuck in his home office looking at a powdery white substance before him on a mirrored tray.

Chuck merely nodded to confirm his friend's suspicions.

"Your eyes aren't bloodshot yet, so I'm going to pray to god that you haven't taken a hit yet," Nate stated as he pulled the tray away from Chuck before he had any ideas. "God, Bass, cocaine, really. Has it come to that?"

"I'm thinking about it," Chuck nodded.

"I talked to Serena," Nate explained his presence.

"Serena needs to mind her own business for a change," Chuck growled.

"Blair moved out," Nate stated.

"Temporarily," Chuck hissed, his eyes full of venom. Nate knew immediately he was walking a fine line. He could see that Chuck wanted to self-destruct, and Nate was quickly becoming his target.

"I thought you lost your supplier's number when Blair moved in," Nate motioned to the tray in his hands.

"The number quickly was retrieved," he continued to scowl at his best friend.

"I'm not going to let you destruct in this way," Nate replied as he turned and left with the tray, intending to flush the drugs down the toilet.

"You have absolutely no right to tell me how I can destruct. You aren't my mother, and you aren't my girlfriend. I don't answer to you," Chuck hollered as he quickly followed him in hopes of salvaging the overpriced drugs he'd purchased earlier that day after spending the first of what promised to be many sleepless nights alone in the penthouse.

"You still answer to Blair," Nate reminded him as the drugs went right down the toilet. He'd expected Chuck to put up a greater fight, but there was none. His heart clearly wasn't into it. It also explained why the drugs were on the tray and not already up his nose. "What is she going to think if she finds out about this?"

Chuck couldn't come up with a response that he liked, so he left the question hanging as he disappeared back into his office, pulling out the one vice he knew Nate couldn't object to, scotch.

"Think all of this through," Nate demanded as he put his hand over Chuck's as he poured himself his first drink. "I came in after you did drank yourself into oblivion last year, and you'd dislocated your shoulder. What are you aiming to dislocate this time? I'll save you the hangover and do it myself."

"Whatever hurts enough to cover the pain in my chest," he responded dryly as he shook Nate's hand away viciously and downed the first drink in one gulp.

"Give me the bottle," Nate demanded as Chuck began pouring himself another glass. Chuck freely let go of the scotch, but pulled out the vodka just as quickly, not even bothering with the glass as he drank straight from the bottle.

"Leave, Archibald," Chuck warned him. "If you don't want to be party to this, walk out the door right now."

"Not happening," Nate stated as he snatched the second bottle out of his hand, along with any other alcohol bottles that Chuck had in the office. Chuck fought him this time all the way to the kitchen sink where all the bottles were dumped.

"Get out, Archibald," Chuck hollered.

"After you tell me where the rest of the alcohol is in this place," Nate stood firm, "You aren't going to be allowed to self destruct this time. Blair is going to be back. You have to believe that. She's going through a rough time right now, but once she works everything out she'll be home. You don't want to have to tell her that you buried yourself your usual vices. You and I both know that it won't stop with alcohol and recreational drugs."

"She left," Chuck growled, "I don't owe her an explanation."

"Do the past two years mean nothing to you? That ring on her finger, is that just a worthless piece of metal? Are you going to give her back to me?" Nate challenged him.

"You touch her, and I'll kill you," Chuck growled as he grabbed a hold of Nate's collar as he gave him a deadly stare. In that moment, Nate believed him.

"Then pull it together," Nate continued to challenge him, "Be the man that Blair knows you can be. Step up and be the man she needs you to be right now."

"And who is that," Chuck challenged him right back.

"Her protector, the one that will never let anything bad happen to her," Nate replied as Chuck released him.

"I've already failed in that regard," Chuck slumped down into the nearest chair as he felt the effects of the alcohol he'd rapidly consumed minutes earlier start to catch up with him.

"We both did," Nate nodded, "Serena and I could tell that there was something wrong weeks before she was attacked, but she wouldn't give us any details. We should have pressed harder and gotten the information out of her, but we didn't. We're all taking some blame on this, but the one that deserves the most is the one that actually did this to her. Use that influence that I know you have, and ensure that this man doesn't see the light of day for the rest of her life."

"Don't you think I'm already working on that?" he snapped.

"You haven't said anything," Nate shrugged.

"If you used a sliver of that brain you have, you'd know that is implied," he continued to scowl at his best friend.

"There is one more thing that Blair needs from you," Nate replied. "She'll need to know that even though she's pushing you away at the moment that you'll continue to be there for her."

* * *

"Mister Chuck, why you here?" Dorota inquired when Chuck appeared at Blair's mother's penthouse later that afternoon after the alcohol he'd consumed had left his system. He'd stewed for awhile after Nate left, but eventually took his best friend's words to heart and cleaned himself up.

"I'm here to see Blair," Chuck told her, "Is she here?"

"Yes, Mister Chuck, she locked in bedroom. She don't come out since Miss Serena left," Dorota frowned.

"May I have the key?" Chuck requested as he held out his hand expectantly. He knew Blair's loyal maid well. She would have already retrieved the key to Blair's room, but was internally trying to figure out when would be the best time to charge in.

Dorota quickly fished the key out of her apron pocket and handed it to him.

"Is my tie straight?" Chuck inquired as he pulled on the bowtie he'd done earlier.

"Yes, Mister Chuck," Dorota nodded.

"That's not going to work," Chuck replied as he pulled it hard enough for it to go eschew and then made his way up the steps to Blair's bedroom. Knocking would be pointless, so as quietly as he could he unlocked the door and stepped into the darkened room.

"Go away, Dorota," Blair moaned as she sat by her bedroom window, looking at the park across the street, seeing the happy children playing without a care in the world. She'd been a child like that once. It felt like such a lifetime ago.

"Dorota is downstairs," Chuck told her softly as he held out the bouquet of pink peonies he'd brought for her. The gesture felt a little silly after he walked into the penthouse to be reminded of all the bouquets he'd sent earlier, but he hadn't wanted to arrive empty handed either.

"Chuck," she gasped in surprise as she stood up suddenly. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you," he told her as he stepped in closer to hand her the flowers. There was a slight smile on her face as she accepted them and inhaled their scent deeply, but the smile didn't reach her eyes. "The penthouse felt a little empty without you."

"Your tie is crooked," she told him as she set the flowers aside and reached towards him to fix it.

"Did you sleep well last evening?" he inquired as he filled the silence that was quickly suffocating them.

"No," she shook her head, "I thought being in familiar surroundings would help, but these surroundings aren't as familiar as they once were."

"You're welcome to come home whenever you're ready," he assured her.

"I know," she nodded as she finished her task and stepped away from him, "Thank you for the flowers, all of them."

"You're welcome," he told her as he looked around the room. The memories of their stolen moments flooded back.

"Remember when we used to make out on that bed," Blair smiled as the same memory appeared to be in her thoughts.

"I still haven't figured out how to behave around you," he smirked.

"Yes, you have," she smiled, "All I wanted was for you to behave in public. In private, you were welcome to be as inappropriate as you want, in fact, I sort of hoped for it."

"Stealing those moments and hiding away from everyone feels like a lifetime ago," Chuck replied.

"Because it was," she smiled, "We aren't having to hide anymore."

"How are you feeling today?" he inquired as he watched her pull her sleeves down to ensure they were covering what possibility remained of the bruises.

"I yelled at Serena today," she frowned, "And she didn't deserve it."

"She always deserves it a little," Chuck assured her.

"Perhaps, but she didn't deserve to be yelled at for what I yelled at her for. She's only trying to help," Blair frowned, "I called that therapist that Doctor Boyd recommended as soon as Serena left. I have an appointment with her tomorrow. You don't have to come if you don't want to, but I'd like it for you to come with me."

"I'll be there," he assured her, "What time is your appointment? I'll come pick you up."

"Nine thirty," she replied, "It's in the same office building as Doctor Boyd's office."

"I'll pick you up at nine then," he replied.

"I'll be ready," she smiled softly.

"I love you," he told her.

"I love you," she smiled. Her eyes lit up briefly. A tiny flash of the old Blair was enough to bring a smile to his face even though her smile didn't last long.

"I'll be back first thing in the morning," he assured her as he turned to leave.

"Don't go," she requested as she reached out for his hand quickly. "Stay and have dinner with me. Mom and Cyrus flew to France this morning. This place feels so big. I can have Dorota make one of your favorites."

"I'll stay," he assured her as he squeezed her hand softly.

In a move that felt so foreign yet comforting at the same time, she entwined her fingers into his as she led him downstairs so she could find Dorota and let her know about the additional guest for dinner.

"Miss Blair out of room," Dorota proclaimed happily as she went and hugged Chuck. "Thank you, Mister Chuck."

"Dorota, Chuck is staying for dinner," Blair smiled at how taken aback Chuck was when Dorota squeezed him tighter.

"I make ten course meal," Dorota announced as she scurried into the kitchen to begin her preparations.

"Just so you know, Dorota probably thinks you're a miracle worker now," Blair explained as she pulled him onto the sofa in the living room. She tucked her feet under as she sat down while pulling him to sit directly next to her, not close enough to be touching, but close enough that they could touch if she wanted to. "With everything going on with me, I haven't asked you how your work on the merger is going."

"We're nearly finished," he replied as he sat tensely next to her afraid to move for fear she'd fly back into her room. "I kept the junior executives in Japan for a little longer, but they're back now. We're finishing everything up and all the work will be finished by early next week."

"I'm sorry that I delayed everything," she frowned as she pulled at her sleeves as they rose up revealing what she thought to be a bruise.

"It wasn't your fault," he told her quickly, "You come first to me. You always have and always will."

She took his hand again and set it in her lap. It was a small step back to where they were, but it was a step.

"You don't need to force this," Chuck assured her as he pulled his hand away, "I'm going to be here for you every step of the way."

"I'm not," she tried to assure him as she reached for his hand again. "I'm trying to get on with my life. I've been avoiding things that used to bring me comfort. I don't want to do that any longer."

"My hand in your lap provides comfort," he replied skeptically.

"Being near you provides comfort," she clarified. "Your hand in my lap reminds me of how tingly I get when you touch me . . . in a good way."

"My touching you has been making your skin crawl," he reminded her.

"It needs to be my choice, right now," she explained. "Small steps, Bass."

"Small steps," he nodded as their eyes locked. She was smiling and so were her eyes.

**TBC. . .**


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. They belong to Cecily von Zeigesar and The CW.**

"Ms. Waldorf, I'm Lori Parker," the female therapist greeted her with a handshake before she quickly retook Chuck's hand which had been her lifeline since he'd picked her up thirty minutes earlier. It had been another long night for Blair as nightmares kept her awake most of the evening.

"Blair," she nodded, her voice tense. "And this is Chuck."

"Mister Bass," Lori greeted him, "Frank told me all about you."

"All good things I hope," Chuck smiled.

"He's speaks very highly of you," Lori assured him. "Please, both of you have a seat."

"I'm allowed at this session?" Chuck inquired in surprise. He had thought he'd be waiting in the waiting room like he had during Blair's first session with her other therapist.

"Yes," Lori replied, "Doctor Boyd has explained what a calming influence you seem to have on Blair, so as long as she's alright with it, I'd like for you to be here."

"Is that alright with you, Beautiful?" Chuck inquired as he looked to Blair.

"I'd like you to stay," she nodded slightly as she squeezed his hand. Chuck nodded as he took a seat next to her.

"Let's start by talking about why you're here," Lori suggested.

"I was attacked at work by my boss," Blair whispered softly.

"Doctor Boyd said that you haven't spoke about what happened to anyone," Lori stated, "But I'd like to go through that with you today, if you think you're able to."

"I don't think I'm ready," Blair shook her head.

"Okay," Lori nodded as she gave Blair a reassuring smile, "That's okay. Perhaps that is moving a bit too fast. How about we talk about something that makes you feel more comfortable. Perhaps you'd like to talk about you and Chuck."

"We're not doing too well right now," Blair frowned as she felt Chuck squeeze her hand slightly. "I'm pushing him away because of what happened."

"Do you blame Chuck for what happened?" Lori inquired.

"Yes and no," she replied as she began playing with his fingers. "I know Chuck didn't do this to me. I mean the man that did is rotting in jail as he awaits his trial, but I guess I feel that if Chuck had been home this wouldn't have happened. He's my protector. He always has been, even before we became 'us'. After everything that we've been through to get to where we are, I sort of thought that we were done with all the bad stuff and that only good things were ahead for us."

"And then this happened," Lori prompted her.

"I don't feel safe anywhere right now," Blair admitted, "And I don't know if I ever will again."

"You will," Lori assured her. "It's the reason that you're here. You've said that your relationship with Chuck isn't doing well. Do you want that to change?"

"Yes," she replied quickly, "I want it to go back to what it was before all of this happened. He made me feel loved and beautiful and happy."

"And he doesn't make you feel those things right now?" Lori prodded.

"I guess he still does, except for the happy part. Not much has made me happy since all of this happened," Blair replied with a frown.

"What has made you happy since the incident?"

"When Chuck came to see me yesterday, that made me happy. He brought me flowers. I fixed his tie, and we had dinner together and talked, for perhaps the first time since this happened. It wasn't about anything important or earth shattering, but it was a conversation that didn't focus on what happened. I was able to forget for one meal. It felt good."

"How much time do you think you spend each day thinking about the attack?" Lori inquired.

"More than I should," she replied.

"If you had to put a number on it, how many hours each day do you spend thinking about what happened, not including your dreams," Lori stated.

"Nightmares," Blair amended, "And probably most of the time that I'm awake, and since I don't sleep well at night, it's then too."

"What activities do you do each day to try and take your mind off of what happened?"

"I like Audrey Hepburn movies, so I watch those," she replied.

"And how many times have you seen those movies, prior to the attack?" Lori asked.

"I've lost count," Blair replied as she looked to Chuck to see if he could answer.

"I've lost count of how many times I've watched those movies with you," he replied, "And I know your number far exceeds mine."

"And I'm sure you have each scene and each line memorized," Lori added.

Blair nodded.

"So you don't have to pay much attention to the storylines to understand the plot," Lori replied, "Which allows your mind to drift towards what happened. I think it would be wise for you to find other activities to occupy your time, things that will work your mind and not allow it to wander. Perhaps read a good book or find a new hobby, one that will challenge you. You are spending entirely too much time thinking about what happened."

"It's hard not to think about it," Blair replied as she pulled at her sleeves.

"Do you still have bruises?" Lori inquired as she watched Blair's movements closely.

"Yes," she nodded.

"Would you show me a couple?" Lori pressed.

Blair shook her head. "I haven't shown anyone."

"I'd like you to show me," Lori insisted.

"She shouldn't have to," Chuck spoke up as he watched Blair's eyes begin to water with tears. "She's not ready."

"Please show me the bruises," Lori continued on, ignoring Chuck's reply.

Blair nodded slightly as she pulled her sleeve up to reveal her forearm. She looked away as both Lori and Chuck inspected her arm. She still saw the repugnant purple bruises from when she was first attacked.

"Blair, there aren't any bruises," Chuck told her softly as he gently caressed her arm. When Blair looked more closely, her arm looked the same as they always had, a little paler as she hadn't sat out in the sun in forever, but no bruises whatsoever. She even pulled up her other sleeve to check her other arm to find the same result.

"There were bruises," she stated quietly as she searched every inch of each arm. "I saw them. I know I did."

"The mind can play funny tricks when it's getting over a traumatic event such as the one you are dealing with. You were seeing what you thought you were supposed to see. For you the attack is still very fresh because you've spent so much time thinking about it. The task I'm giving you for next week is to think about it less," Lori explained. "Can you do that?"

"I can try," she nodded.

"That's a start," Lori smiled, "And you can reach out to others to help you with this. You said having dinner with Chuck last night helped you forget for a little while. Perhaps more dinners are needed. Perhaps your other friends and family be willing to help you with this, as well."

"I know they will," Chuck nodded as he reached for her hand again.

Blair smiled back at him as she squeezed his hand again. The simple connection felt good, comfortable, safe.

"That's all the time we have for today," Lori announced, "I'd like to see you again next week, and if you'd like to bring Chuck along again, he's welcome."

* * *

"How do you think everything went?" Chuck inquired as they went for a walk in Central Park after her appointment. She had a loaf of bread in one hand, and his in the other.

"I like her," Blair replied. "And I think given a little time, she will help me. She has me a little curious though about the other bruises I see. Maybe they are no longer there. Maybe they've healed like the ones on my arms."

"Maybe," he nodded. "It has been two months."

"When do you have to go back to the office?" she inquired as her head came to rest against his shoulder as they continued walking.

"I can stay as long as you'd like," he told her. "My calendar is clear for the entire day."

"Are you even working right now?" she inquired as she looked at him curiously. Lately he seemed to have all the time in the world for her.

"Not as much lately," he admitted, "My CFO is handling most of the day to day tasks. I guess you could say I'm on a partial leave of absence."

"You did that for me?" she asked as she looked to him in surprise.

"Of course," he nodded, "Haven't you figured out yet that I'd do anything for you?"

"But a leave of absence, Bass," she shook her head, "That leaves you with a lot of free time. How do you fill the days?"

"Probably the same way you do," he admitted as they approached her duck feeding spot where she opened her bag and began pulling pieces out and tossing them to the ducks. The ducks waddled around as they happily gathered their meal. Blair was smiling from ear to ear. Her smile brought about his. He suddenly realized that it had been far too long since either had truly smiled.

"I was thinking about what Lori said," Blair stated as she entwined her arm into his once the loaf of bread had disappeared, and they'd resumed their stroll. "I have an idea of what activity I want to do to keep my mind off of things, and it involves you."

"Really?" he asked with intrigue.

"I want you to teach me everything you know about business," she replied, "One day I'm going to be a successful designer, and I'll want to have my own label like my mother. I need to know how to run the label, and who better to teach me the ins and outs of the business world better than CEO Charles Bass?"

"A lot of what I do has no relevance to what you'll need to know to run your own company," he replied.

"So teach me the relevant parts," she replied, "I know you never learned anything in the classroom, but you still read books and observed. Share with me your wisdom."

"Right now?" he inquired.

"Maybe we start tomorrow," she replied, "That way you can have a little time to work on your syllabus."

"I've never taught anyone anything before," he replied.

"That's not true," she replied, "I seemed to remember another subject in which I was a diligent student of yours, and if I recall correctly I aced the course with flying colors."

"I've missed this," he stated, "The witty banter that you and I have."

"Me too," she nodded, "I miss us."

"We're still us," he reminded her.

"We're a different us right now," she shook her head, "I felt as if we were mere roommates for the last month instead of lovers, and it's my fault."

"It's not your fault," he responded quickly.

"It is," she waved off his assurance, "I've been pushing you away because I thought it was what I needed. I'm rethinking that now."

"What does that mean?" he inquired as he felt the hope in the pit of his stomach. Even though she'd only been gone for a few days, it felt as if she'd been out of his life for months.

"I like spending time with you like this. I feel safe right now and there isn't any pressure to move towards the physical side of things," she explained.

"You feel pressure living with me," he concluded.

"It's not from you," she spoke quickly, "You've been completely wonderful in how you've treated me since everything happened. It's just when we're together with a bed so near, we always gravitate towards it, and I'm not ready."

"I know," he assured her, "And I'm not going to pressure you."

"But I'd be pressuring myself," she continued on, "Because I love you, and I love being with you in that way."

"So you're going to stay at your mother's," he frowned.

"I'm sorry," she confirmed, "I know that's not what you want to hear."

"No, it's not," he confirmed, "I'd be lying if I say that I don't want you back at the penthouse and in our bed, but if staying at your mom's is what you need, I'll support you."

"Thank you," she sighed as she pressed her lips to his cheek gently. When she pulled away Chuck risked running two fingers of his free hand across her lips, savoring the soft feel of them against his skin.

"It's been too long since you've kissed me," he explained his actions when she raised a curious eyebrow.

"We'll get back to what we were," she smiled, "There is going to be a time when we get intimate again, and I don't think about the events of two months ago. I'm determined to get there. I'm determined to get to our future."

"So am I," he replied as he lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it softly. His promise ring was still resting on her finger. As long as that ring was there he could allow himself to believe that their proclamations were real.

**TBC . . .**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. They belong to Cecily von Zeigesar and The CW.**

"How have things been going since we met last week?" Lori asked as Blair and Chuck settled into her office for Blair's second session.

"I took last week's assignment seriously," Blair replied as she looked over at Chuck and smiled. She squeezed his hand to get his attention. She wanted to thank him for what he'd done for her over the last week and get him to smile. He didn't disappoint as their eyes locked.

"I was hoping you would," Lori replied as she watched the silent interaction between the pair. She'd had a lengthy conversation with Blair's other therapist regarding the pair's strong bond, but she hadn't witnessed it first hand until that moment. "How have you been filling your days?"

"Chuck is a brilliant businessman, and I hope to own my own business someday. In preparation for that, I've asked him to teach me as much as he can about business, and he's agreed. We spend several hours each day discussing business case files from this textbook that Chuck apparently has memorized," Blair explained.

"You sound impressed," Lori replied.

"I am," she nodded, "I've always known that behind the D student was a stellar mind that just wasn't challenged, but he quotes the text with remarkable precision. It's almost as if he's been rehearsing for this moment."

"And is this studying effective at keeping your mind off things that you shouldn't be thinking about?" Lori inquired.

"It's getting better," Blair replied, "I still think about it far more than I should, but it's not all day everyday. It's progress, isn't it?"

"It is," Lori reassured her. "Now I'd like you to tell us what happened."

Blair grasped Chuck's hand tight as her breath caught. She'd been anticipating this moment as she started getting dressed this morning. She knew she needed to finally get this out. She thought she could be brave enough, but faced with the reality she simply couldn't do it. Tears stung her eyes as she began shaking her head. "I can't."

"You can," Lori replied with a stern voice, "And you will today."

"No," Blair shook her head as she held Chuck's hand even tighter. "Chuck, please, help."

"I agree with Lori," Chuck responded gently. Blair tried to shake her hand free of his, but he held on tight. "We've put this off for far too long. You aren't going to get better until you face this."

"I'm scared," she replied.

"Your safe," he assured her as he turned her chair so she was facing him as he grasped both of her hands and brought them to his lips, "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere, and I'm not going to let anything or anyone hurt you."

Blair nodded as she took a deep breath in an effort to gather her thoughts. Looking into his warm brown eyes, she felt safer than she had in quite awhile.

"Serena and I had made plans for dinner, which wasn't unusual as we had dinner together most evenings. Humphrey was packing up for his African safari. Serena was pissed that he was leaving and refused to talk to him, so it was up to Nate and I to entertain her.

"I was packing up everything at the office in preparation to leave for the day when Samy came to me with an assignment that he said took top priority. He was always coming up with last minute projects at the end of the day, so this one didn't seem out of the ordinary.

"I called Serena to let her know I was going to be late. In usual van der Woodsen fashion, she threw a fit because I was thinking about someone other than her, and as you know it's all about Serena. She kept calling every ten minutes to see if I was leaving.

"Samy got upset and yanked the cord out of the phone so that it wouldn't ring anymore. He then threw the phone against the wall. It smashed into about a hundred pieces. He started screaming about what a spoiled little brat I was, and how unprofessional it was to have my boyfriend calling every five minutes.

"I defended you. I said that it wasn't you, and that you didn't even have the number. I tried to explain Serena and her issues, but he wanted none of it. He picked up the framed picture that I had of you on my desk and threw it across the room.

"I grabbed my handbag and ran. I don't think I've ever been so scared in my life. I should have taken the stairs. I know that now, but for some reason I decided to wait for the elevator. He caught up with me and threw me against the wall.

She paused as the worst of the events was to come. She didn't want to continue.

"We can stop for a few minutes," Chuck interrupted her, making sure to lock eyes with hers so that she'd know that she was truly safe.

Blair nodded as he wiped away the few tears that had trailed down her cheeks.

"You're doing wonderfully," he assured her as he kissed her hands again.

"Can we stop?" she asked, her eyes pleading with him to give in.

"No," he shook his head. "We can take a break, but you have to finish."

"Can I have some water?" she requested as she freed one hand to caress his chin softly.

"I'll be right back," he nodded as he left the room.

As soon as he was gone, Blair tried to plead her case to Lori. She simply couldn't go any farther. The memories were too painful. Lori wouldn't budge. She was still pleading her case when Chuck returned with the glass of water. Her hands were shaking as she accepted it. Some of the water sloshed onto her skirt, but she didn't notice as she took a drink.

"I'm right here," he reminded her as he took the glass out of her hands and set it aside before he rejoined their hands once more.

"Promise me you won't find me repulsive after this," she pleaded with him.

"I couldn't," he choked out. His heart just about shattered at the notion that she could even have such a thought. "Nothing you could ever say . . . I love you without question, without hesitation."

"When he threw me against the wall, I must have hit my head because I felt like I was dazed. Before I could react, he had me pressed up against the wall face first so I couldn't move, and his hands were all over me. His hands were in places that only you are allowed to touch. I couldn't let him touch me, so I turned to fight. He was so strong. He tore away my blouse, and somehow managed to pin me to the ground. His eyes were like ice, and he didn't make a sound even though he was breathing heavy due to exertion. When he ripped my skirt I started screaming. He started biting at my neck. I thought he was going to break the skin. I kept fighting. I kept screaming. He had me pinned to the floor, but he couldn't take the screaming so he released one of my arms and began choking me so that I'd stop. That made me fight harder.

"It felt like I was fighting for hours but it was probably only a couple of minutes before security was alerted and had him subdued. I don't remember what happened after that until Serena was at my bed in the hospital assuring me that you were on your way," she replied. She paused for several moments as she tried to get the shaking in her hands to stop even though they were firmly entwined with Chuck's, but she couldn't. "I had to fight. I couldn't let him. I couldn't allow him to taint what you and I have, but he may have already won. You can't touch me without me hyperventilating."

"Look at our hands," he told her gently. "He won't win. I will do whatever it takes to get back to what we had. I will wait forever if that is what it takes. We will get through this together."

"How can you still want to touch me?" she inquired tearfully, "Someone else touched me. Someone else put his hands on me. Someone else tried to take what is yours."

"I don't care about any of that," he assured her, "I care about you. I care about us. You are my life. Nobody will ever take you away from me no matter what."

Sobs took a hold of Blair. Without even thinking he brought her into his lap and held her close. Her head was buried into his shoulder as he rocked her gently, whispering words of love and comfort as he did his best to ensure that she understood that he wouldn't leave her.

Lori felt as if she was intruding and caught Chuck's attention just enough to motion towards the box of tissues that she'd set within his reach and let him know she'd be outside if they needed her.

* * *

"I'm so tired," Blair confessed as they left Lori's office. Her arm was wrapped in his. Her eyes were bloodshot and puffy, showing the signs that she'd been crying for a lengthy period of time though neither had a clue as to how long her breakdown had lasted.

"I'm sure you are," he replied as he kissed her temple softly, "That was a lot of information that you'd been keeping inside."

"Thank you for being there," she smiled weakly as they approached the awaiting limo. Chuck's driver had stepped out to open the door, but Chuck halted him and opened the door for her instead.

Blair fell asleep on his shoulder during the short drive back to her mother's penthouse. He didn't have the heart to wake her, so he carried her.

She slept for hours. Chuck was sitting in a chair nearest her bed, reading a book in the dim light he allowed himself, ready to pounce if a nightmare invaded her dreams. She mumbled a few times in her sleep, but there was a serene look on her face.

"Getting a head start on our next class, Professor?" she asked suddenly as she startled him from his thoughts.

"You've been asleep for hours. I needed something to fill the void," he smiled as he bent forward to press his lips to her forehead. "How did you sleep?"

"I slept for the first time without the nightmares," she proclaimed as she proceeded to stretch out her muscles, "It felt very good."

"I can imagine it would," his smile widened as he set his book aside and took her hand. "Dorota said she could have dinner ready for us whenever you woke up. I'll go tell her to bring it up."

"No," Blair shook her head as she got out of bed, "Let's eat in the dining room like adults. I'm tired of hiding away in this bedroom. I'm not naïve enough to believe that unloading all of this has cured me, but I want to move forward. When school starts in a week, I intend to be there, in the front row like always."

"That's my Blair," he smiled brightly as he kissed her cheek softly.

"Chuck," she whispered as she grabbed ahold of his tie to keep him close.

"Yes, Beautiful."

"Kiss me," she requested as she angled her eyes so that they could connect with his to be sure there was no misunderstanding in her request.

His lips were so soft and gentle against hers. When he pulled away a single tear rolled down her cheek.

"What's wrong?" he asked as he wiped the tear away, his eyes panicked with the fear he'd done something that hurt her.

"I really missed that," she choked out as she stepped into him in hopes that his arms would wrap around her. She didn't wait more than a millisecond. He was gentle and treated her like a piece of porcelain that could break at any moment. That was exactly what she needed from him.

**TBC . . .**

**I want to give all you readers a great big thank you for your continued support of this story.**

**Those readers that are joining us from Gossip Girlsss Fan Forum know that I've just recently discovered that replies to reviews are possible. With that being said, any questions that you have with be answered from here on out, as long as it doesn't give away plot details.**

**Again I want to thank all you loyal followers who have put up with my cluelessness for so long. I continue on with my efforts because of all of you.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. They belong to Cecily von Zeigesar and The CW.**

"I'm so proud of you, B," Serena proclaimed as they walked through their favorite bouquet, combing the racks for designer wears that any fashion student would be proud to wear. It was Blair's first foray outside without Chuck. "Going back to class."

"What about you?" Blair inquired, "Is Providence going to be graced with your presence again?"

"I'm not so sure Brown is a good fit right now," Serena replied.

"What's the matter?" Blair gave her a mock pout, "Disappointed that Miss Hermoine is the center of attention and not you?"

"I can't believe you," Serena laughed at the good-natured teasing she was enduring at her best friend's hand. "I missed your witty insults that you try to pass off as compliments."

"Those aren't back handed compliments. There supposed to be straight insults, but that peroxide you use on your hair must have damaged the essential neurons needed to process it appropriately," Blair smirked.

"Awe, sarcasm, how I've missed you," Serena continued laughing. "You're feeling better, aren't you?"

"I'm not recovered by any sense, but I choose to rejoin the land of the living again," Blair replied, "Thanks to Chuck."

"Don't give him all the credit," Serena replied, "You're doing the work. He just gave you the push."

"He's done more than that," Blair replied, "I'm never going to fully be able to repay him for how wonderful he's been through all of this."

"He loves you," Serena stated, "He'd do anything for you. He'd probably run into a collapsing burning building if you asked him to."

"That's quite a visual," Blair shook her head.

"Have you gone to get your books yet?" Serena inquired.

"No, Chuck and I are doing that during his lunch break tomorrow. I don't know how well I'm going to do in such a crowded mess that is the bookstore just a few days before the semester is to start. Riley's meeting us there."

"Have you told any of your NYU friends what happened?" Serena inquired. She had wanted to call Blair's college friends when she was in the hospital, but Blair wanted none of it. Serena didn't know how Blair was managing to keep those friends from getting suspicious as she always put off getting together with them throughout the summer break.

"No," Blair shook her head, "I've thought about possibly telling Riley as she's the best NYU friend that I have, but I won't tell the rest of them. They're more minions than friends anyways."

"Still with the minions," Serena shook her head, "Today's teenagers simply have no self confidence. Always so willing to follow someone else's lead and blindly follow orders."

"Which is why it never worked with me as your minion," Blair replied, "I'm too strong willed to step in line."

"I remember," Serena laughed. "That seems like such a lifetime ago. When I think about who held court back at Constance, it's always you on the throne with the tiara to match."

"But unfortunately with the wrong king," Blair frowned, "Would you please remind me why I was so keen to make things work with Nate?"

"Because he's the complete opposite of Chuck, and you thought Chuck would never be able to give you what you thought you needed to be happy," Serena responded without missing a beat.

"How wrong was I?" Blair laughed.

"About as wrong as you could get," Serena nodded, "But that was before we knew that Chuck had any type of romantic bone in his body."

"Well, he's always had that one," Blair smirked.

"Joking about sex. That's a big step for you. Have you and Chuck . . . yet?"

"No," Blair shook her head quickly, "It's too soon . . . way too soon. I'm still getting comfortable with kissing him. I think sex is going to take some time."

"But you kissed. B, that's really great!" Serena squealed with excitement.

"I think that may be the first time you've ever been excited by the thought of me kissing Chuck," Blair laughed.

"And probably the last time, I assure you," Serena replied, "But you finally are looking like yourself again. You've had me worried."

"I've had a lot of people worried," Blair nodded, "None were more worried than Chuck."

"How much longer do you think you're going to be staying at your mother's?"

"I wish I could say I'll be home soon," Blair frowned, "But I don't know when I'm going to feel comfortable there again. It's just too much self-inflicted pressure. I've set a goal of being home by Christmas."

"I thought you were going to Paris for Christmas," Serena stated.

"We are," Blair nodded before she paused to give it a bit more thought. She and Chuck had made those plans months ago. "At least I think we still are."

"Let's get facials," Serena decided to change subjects.

"Not ready for that yet," Blair shook her head, "But maybe mani-pedi's."

"Let's go," Serena nodded as she was about ready to link arms with Blair.

"Let's finish browsing here first," Blair replied, "I have Chuck's credit card today, and I intend to use it to the best of my ability."

"He gave you his credit card!" Serena exclaimed, "Either he's putting a lot of faith in you, or he's lost his mind."

"Probably the latter," Blair replied, "He hasn't had sex since our anniversary, which was over three months ago. That has to be messing with his mind."

"That might be a personal record for him, but what about you? You're just as invested in your physical relationship as Chuck is. How are you coping?"

"I miss him," Blair admitted, "I miss the closeness, the stimulation, the passion, the love, but's just too soon. I guess I'm getting by on the memories I have of the two of us."

"I know I'm going to regret asking this, but what is your favorite memory of being with Chuck?" Serena inquired.

"It would be easy to say the first time in his limo, but I think if I sat down and truly gave it some thought, it would be the first time we made love after he finally told me that he loved me. There was such a look of wonderment in his eyes. I'd never seen him as happy before as he was in that moment," Blair replied, "I've been wearing out that memory since I've allowed myself to start thinking about things other than the attack."

"I can't even gag at that," Serena smile softened.

"Even though I know you want to," Blair laughed as she continued browsing the racks. Her eyes suddenly widened in triumph as she snatched the hanger of the rack before her. "Awe, this is it! Finally found my back to school ensemble."

"All we need is shoes, a handbag, accessories, and a headband," Serena nodded as she admired the garment.

"I know you wanted the mani-pedis, but can we delay for a few hours?" Blair looked at Serena hopefully.

"Of course," Serena nodded.

* * *

"Hey, Handsome," Blair was greeted by Chuck at the elevator at her mother's penthouse. She and Serena were loaded down with bags. "I missed you."

"No more than I missed you," Chuck assured her as she rose up on her toes and kissed him in greeting. He smiled when she pulled away. She was becoming more and more comfortable with each day she distanced herself from the attack. Her eyes didn't even show the hesitation she once felt at the simple interaction. "How much damage did you do with my card?"

"Quite a bit," she grin mischievously, "I think I maxed it out. I didn't even know you had cards with credit limits."

"I don't," he eyed her as she handed the card back. She held on a split second longer than he liked as if she was tempted to not return it.

"I wonder why it was rejected at Bloomingdales?" she looked at him with intrigue.

"Must have been flagged for unusual activity," Serena suggested. "I think I saw smoke coming off it at Bendels."

"Perhaps I should have set a limit before I forked it over," he looked at her nervously.

"Relax, you're still going to be rich after you pay the bill," she assured him as he relieved her of her bags.

"As long as I'm able to pay the bill," he replied as he tried to peek into the bags.

"Nope," Blair snatched the bag away. "You don't get to see it until the rest of the world does."

"Fair enough," he replied.

"I'm going to go hide these away. Can you entertain Serena for a few moments?" she inquired.

"I'll certainly try," he replied as she kissed him once more, "Though don't take too long. Her attention span is pretty short."

"Five minutes at most," she assured him with one last kiss before she scurried up the staircase with Dorota nipping at her heels. She tossed one final warning when she reached the top of the stairs. "Behave, Bass."

When Chuck was sure they were alone, he pulled something out of his breast pocket and held it up for Serena to view. "I gave you a simple task. Deliver this letter to Blair when I left for Japan. How could you possibly screw that up?"

"I set it on the hall table that very morning. She couldn't have possibly missed it."

"The maid found it this morning under the table cover with Godzilla sized dust bunnies. It's still sealed. She didn't get it," he scowled at her, "This was important to me."

"I'm so sorry," Serena replied as tears stung her eyes.

"You should be," he replied as he stuffed the envelope back into his suit jacket pocket as he heard Blair coming down the stairs.

"I thought I told you to behave," Blair scolded him as she caught the icy glare that he was giving his stepsister.

"No, I deserve it," Serena replied as a single tear tumbled down her cheek. She couldn't begin to explain how sorry she was for not giving the letter directly to Blair that morning. "I should go. Chuck will explain."

"Chuck Bass, what is going on with you?" Blair scowled at him as he pulled her into the living room.

"Have a seat," he motioned towards the chair. When she was comfortably seated he knelt before her.

"Bass, are you?" she gulped nervously.

"No," he shook his head as he gave her a sheepish grin, "I'm not proposing . . . yet. We're not there."

"You made me nervous," she breathed a sigh of relief, "Because I couldn't bare to turn you down twice."

"Nor could I stomach you turning me down a second time," he assured her, "When I do propose it will be when I'm absolutely certain you will say yes."

"Then what is this?" she asked as she motioned towards him kneeling on the floor.

"When I left for Japan all those many months ago, I gave Serena one very simple task. I've always been under the assumption that she'd come through, but I found out today that she didn't," he replied as he took the envelope out of his breast pocket again. "I asked her to give you this.

"In a way, it makes sense. I expected there to be a discussion generated from these words, but there was none. I assumed that either the words didn't stir the reaction in you that I'd hoped for, or I'd embarrassed you."

"I don't understand," she looked at him in confusion.

"Read it," he encouraged her as he handed her the letter.

_Blair – I keep searching the dictionary for a stronger word, one that sums up how much you mean to me, yet there isn't one. There isn't one word in any language that allows me to express what I feel in my heart. The word 'love' is used too casually in this age and the degrees of love vary so greatly that sometimes I don't think you truly know how I feel. To say you are a part of me is a gross understatement as you are every part of me._

_I need you to know that leaving you, even temporarily, is the most difficult decision I've ever made in my life and that loving you will always be the easiest. Even as the words flow through my pen, I cannot tell you what my thought process was when I came to the decision to exile myself to Japan._

_I suppose I'm testing myself. I know what kind of man I was before I allowed my heart to guide me, and I know what kind of man I am when I give in to it. I hated the man I was; I love the man that I've become. I need to be sure that the man I've become can give you those things that we both dream of. With you at my side everything seems so simple, so inevitable. I need to be sure that even with you at a distance that those same feelings remain._

_I don't know what the next few months hold for us. We may grow apart. We may crumble under the enormous strain that I'm forcing upon us. Outside influences may conspire to tear us apart. I also know that we can overcome any obstacle. There is only one conclusion that I will settle for in the end, and that is you as my wife, my partner in life and in love._

_Know that I love you and trust in what we have. We will have our forever. – Chuck_

Blair had tears streaming down her cheeks as she finished his letter. "This is beautiful, Chuck," she proclaimed as she tried to wipe at her tears so she could get a clear vision of his face. When the tear induced haze lifted, he was crying as much if not more than she was.

"I never should have left," he cried out as his head came to rest in her lap.

"What happened wasn't your fault," Blair tried to calm him down as she ran her fingers through his hair, creating a rhythmic pattern that she hoped would soothe the ache in his heart. "Neither of us could have foreseen this, but united we are the strongest force in the world. We will get through this. There is going to come a day when neither one of us has to think about the events of those many months ago. It's just going to be part of our story, and a small, inconsequential piece at that, that led us to the wherever it is that we are supposed to end up, but that place is going to be together. I believe that, and I know you do to because they are written all over this piece of paper that I intend to frame and put next to our bed when I'm ready to return. It sounds a little cheesy, but this is the first love letter that you've ever written to me."

He nodded but didn't make a sound.

"Chuck, those things that you dream of, what are they?" she asked softly, "When you dream of our future, what do you see?"

"Everything that I've never had. Everything that I've ever wanted," he replied, "A house full of love. Coming home each night and knowing that I am truly home, and that I won't be banished to a hotel suite for some slight misstep. I want a home that is full of laughter and cheerfulness. I want a place where children that we have can feel free to be whatever it is that they choose to be without questioning how loved they are. I want to grow old with you and know that no matter where life may lead us that it will always be with you at my side."

"That's what I want too," she smiled.

"Does that dream still seem possible to you?"

"That dream has never faded for a moment," she assured him, "Even in my darkest thought, my darkest hour, it was that dream of you and me together in the end that has pulled me through. We'll get there, Chuck. It's going to be slow and at times incredibly frustrating, but I know what the other side is like. All I ask is that you be patient with me. I may push you away. I may freak out on you. I may even ask you to leave, but please don't listen to me."

"You're giving me license to ignore you, do you know how dangerous that can be?"

"I'm giving you guidance. I've only been in therapy for a few weeks. I think we both can agree that I'm far better off than I was when I first started, but I still have a long ways to go," she clarified, "We both are known to say things in the heat of the moment that we normally wouldn't say or even feel. So if I ever say that I hate you or that I never want to see you again, know that what I really mean is that I love you and that I cannot imagine my life without you."

He nodded again as the unshed tears in his eyes began to dry.

"Will you stay for dinner?" she requested as she batted her moist eyelashes at him. He opened his mouth to respond, but she cut him off, "That was a rhetorical question as I'm not allowing you to leave."

"Nor would I be able to," he smiled softly as she caressed his cheek softly, drying the last remaining moisture with her thumb.

"I love you, Bass," she sighed happily.

"I love you, Blair," he added as he closed his eyes to soak in the feel of the touch that he so desperately craved.

**TBC . . .**

**I think this was a chapter that many of you had been clamoring for. I hope the wait was worthwhile.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. They belong to Cecily von Zeigesar and The CW.**

"You start school on Monday," Lori stated, "Are you ready?"

"I'm getting there," Blair nodded as she took a deep breath as she squeezed Chuck's hand that rested comfortably in her lap. "Chuck took me to meet my friend, Riley, at the school bookstore, so I could get my books. The store was packed. I nearly hyperventilated. It felt like all eyes were on me and that everyone was whispering about what happened to me."

"You're projecting, Blair," Lori told her, "What happened to you was kept out of the papers. Only those closest to you know."

"My head knows that, but I still couldn't stop the hyperventilating. It was Chuck that calmed me down. He's better than a sedative for me," Blair smiled at him.

"But he can't be with you when you return to school. Have you come up with a game plan for how you're going to manage your panic attacks?"

"Chuck's on speed dial," Blair replied.

"Is that going to work?" Lori eyed her skeptically.

"It has to," Blair nodded, "I can't delay my schooling. I can't delay my life. Doing that means I have to delay our life together, and I'm not willing to do that."

"You and Chuck already have a life together," Lori reminded her.

"But there are aspects of our life that we are putting on hold . . . marriage, family." Blair explained as she blushed slightly.

"Have you talked about marriage?" Lori inquired as her eyes grew in surprise.

"He actually proposed last summer," Blair smiled shyly, "It was a heat of the moment thing, and we've agreed to put that topic on hold."

"That's a pretty big thing to just throw out in the heat of the moment," Lori replied. "What was your answer?"

"I wasn't ready . . . I'm not ready," Blair explained, "Chuck is this big, powerful force in our world. Growing up I guess I always thought that being the woman on the arm of that powerful force was going to be enough for me, but that changed. I came to see that I wanted to stand on my own. Like my mother, I want to be my own force to be reckoned with."

"From what I know about your mother, it was only a few years ago that she became such a force," Lori stated.

"Because she tried to be that woman on a man's arm. When my father left, it crushed her. She didn't know who she was anymore because she'd always been Harold Waldorf's wife. I know my relationship with Chuck is different than the one my parents' hand, but I know that I don't want to be the accessory to Chuck."

"Nor do I want that for her," Chuck added, "She's too beautiful to be stuck in anyone's shadow."

"Back to school, have you told any of your school friends about what happened this summer?" Lori inquired.

"I told Riley," Blair nodded, "I had to. Chuck's presence when we met at the bookstore tipped her off to something being wrong. I'd been putting her off all summer, and she said she had her suspicions that something wasn't right. I couldn't go into detail, but she is very supportive. I'm actually glad that she knows. I trust her to not say anything to anyone else, and if I do freak out, she'll understand why."

"Sounds like you have some pretty terrific friends aside from a terrific boyfriend," Lori observed.

"Boyfriend," Blair laughed, "That sounds so juvenile. I don't know that I see Chuck as my boyfriend anymore. He's so much more than that. He's my lover, my best friend, my future, my life."

"That's a pretty mature statement to make for two people as young as you," Lori replied.

"But true," Blair replied as she looked towards Chuck and smiled. "After everything that has happened, I still see this happily ever after that I always hoped for."

"Those 'happily ever after's' stop for a reason," Lori replied, "There is no continuation to those stories because those people were not real. You and Chuck are."

"I know," Blair nodded, "But my happily ever after doesn't stop with the fairytale wedding. It continues on with two people that truly appreciate and love each other and are willing to stick by each other through life's obstacles. If Chuck and I can get through this, we can get through anything."

"If?" Lori repeated. Chuck's heart sped up a little at the word as well. She'd been talking about when, but never if. He'd assumed that her recovery was a certainty and that it would just take time.

"I want to get better," Blair admitted as her eyes were cast to the floor, "I want the happily ever after."

"Blair, is there a chance that you won't have that?" Lori pressed.

"There might be," she whispered softly as tears stung her eyes. Chuck's hand immediately pulled away from hers. She reached out for him, but he was off his chair and out of her reach. "Chuck, don't take this as my admitting defeat."

"How am I supposed to take this?" he challenged her, "We have a plan. You're wearing my ring. How can you now say that our plan might not happen?"

"I can't predict the future, Chuck," she told him tearfully, "I can't promise that six months down the road that you'll be able to touch me and my skin won't crawl. I can't promise that we'll be able to share a bed at night and not be woken up by my nightmares."

"I don't need those promises," he told her, "I just need the promise that you still see that future that we're planning. I need the promise that no matter what we will continue to work on this until you're better. I need you to promise that you'll never give up."

"I don't know if I can," she replied, "I want to. I want to promise you all of that, but . . ."

"No buts," he stopped her from continuing. "I'm not asking for definite deadlines here. These are open-ended promises. If you can't make them, then I don't know if I can . . ."

"Stay?" she hissed at him. "So you'll just give up, run away like you always do when life gets just a bit too complicated. Be the true Basstard that everyone else has always seen you to be. Just do it already. Just leave. Close off your heart for the rest of your life and go back to what shell of a man you used to be."

"You're right," Chuck nodded as his eyes turned cold. Blair looked truly frightened at the moment. He had never once resembled his father until then. "My father was right. The only way to live is to do it without feeling." He stormed out suddenly.

"Chuck!" Blair called out to him, hoping that he'd hear the pleading in her voice and revert back to the warm, caring man she loved. He kept walking.

* * *

"Blair, you have to do something," Nate demanded as he barged into her mother's penthouse. She'd return to the penthouse after her therapy session and fell to the sofa in heartbreaking sobs. She hadn't moved for two hours.

"Go away, Nate," Blair growled. "I don't have time for you today."

"I'm serious," Nate insisted. His voice was desperate and frantic. "Chuck called Lily and offered up his letter of resignation at Bass. He's on his way to the airport. He won't tell me where he's going. He sounds like he's just leaving . . . possibly for good."

"Oh my god!" she gasped, "He wouldn't do that. He's supposed to know that when I tell him to just walk away that I mean for him to stay and fight."

"I've never heard him like I did today," Nate confessed, "He sounded like Bart, so cold and unfeeling. It's like there was some switch that he flipped."

"We have to stop him," Blair exclaimed, "Call Lily and have her put a hold on the Bass jet. I need to get to him before he takes off."

Nate pulled out his phone and quickly followed orders as Blair disappeared into the hall closet to pull out her rain jacket. It had been raining nonstop since she'd left her therapist's office. Through the sobs she could hear the cracks of thunder and see the flashes of lightening.

"Don't just stand there, Archibald," Blair snapped as she waited inside the elevator. Nate was still firmly planted just outside the elevator trying to decide if he was supposed to follow.

* * *

"What do you mean, we're grounded," Chuck snarled at his pilots, "It's thunder and lightening. We've flown in worse. Wheels up – NOW!"

"Mister Bass, I can lose my pilot's license if I don't obey the air traffic controllers in the tower," the pilot held firm.

"You won't have a plane to fly if I fire you," Chuck threatened him. "Get back into that cockpit and get us in the air, or I will see to it that you never fly another plane for as long as you live."

Just then he heard the sound of the flight attendant opening the airplane door.

"What the hell are you doing?" Chuck turned to target his rage at a new victim.

"Following orders, Mister Bass," she trembled as she spoke.

"Who the hell told you to open the door? Your imaginary friend? Close the door so we can take off," he hissed.

"Mister Bass," the woman continued to shake as Chuck stalked towards her when she continued to stand as still as a statue. She thought he might strike her. She'd never seen him so full of rage, and she'd been witness to his behavior when his father died.

"Get out of my way," Chuck growled as he reached for the door controls, oblivious to everything else around him including the two people that had come aboard during his spat with the flight crew.

"Chuck," Blair whispered as her hand closed over his.

"This can't be happening," he shook his head as he pulled away as if he'd been burned. His eyes closed as he tried to get the image of her to disappear. He knew he had to be hallucinating. "Get out of my head. You aren't real."

"Yes, I am," she told him gently as she took his hand and ran it across her tear soaked cheek. "I'm very real."

Chuck shook his head as his eyes were kept firmly closed.

"Come on, Chuck, open your eyes," she encouraged him, "Look at me. You'll see that I'm real as soon as you look into my eyes."

"You told me to leave," Chuck refused her request, "You're just trying to drive me insane."

"Chuck," she whispered into his ear as she stepped in closer, her arms coming around his waist as she rose up to kiss him softly on the lips.

"This isn't real," Chuck refused to give in even though his hands came around her waist to keep her close.

"Open your eyes," she whispered against his lips.

Finally, mercifully, he gave in. The coldness in his eyes she'd experienced earlier had vanished. All she saw now was the pain that had been left behind in the wake of the terrible event that had changed both of their lives. He looked more scared than she ever had been since the night it happened.

"I can't fix this," he told her as his head buried into the crook of her neck, "I can't make you better. I thought I could do anything because I loved you so much, but I can't do this."

"Yes, you can," she assured him, "There isn't a magical phrase or a wand that you can wave to bring that fairytale back into our lives. It's going to take time, but I need you. You can't leave. I'm not going to get better without you. I promise that I'll never give up. I promise that I will continue to do the work until I get better. I promise you that I still see that future that the both of us want. I'll promise anything else if you'll stay."

Chuck nodded against her as he silently gave in to her request, his fingers finding their way into the wet strands of her hair.

"You're all wet," he mumbled against her skin.

"You aren't any drier," she replied as she tugged lightly at the strands at the nape of his neck. His short hair had mostly dried, but his suit coat was soaked all the way through. He shivered suddenly. "In case you didn't notice, it's raining outside."

"It's raining?" he repeated in confusion as he turned slightly to look out the still open door of the airplane. Sure enough it was coming down like a monsoon. He didn't know how he could have missed it before.

"Let's get you home," she suggested, "Get you a change of clothes."

Chuck turned suddenly towards the flight crew, all of whom had gathered to observe the scene. "I'm so sorry for my behavior."

They were all quick to assure him that no apology was necessary, but he added, "Expect a rather large bonus in your next paycheck."

"Come on, Buddy, let's go," Nate urged Chuck out the door of the plane and into the monsoon once again towards the car that was still waiting for them thanks to Blair's effective threats.

Chuck fell asleep on Blair's shoulder as soon as the car started rolling. The exhaustion of so many months without a decent night sleep had finally caught up with him. Blair continued to run her fingers through the strands of hair at the back of his neck.

"He out?" Nate asked softly as he watched the pair's simple interaction. He marveled at how comfortable they looked together. Blair was never as comfortable with him in the presence of others.

"Yeah," she nodded slightly as she looked out the window to see the New York sights slowly creeping by. There was hardly another car on the road. Everyone had been chased inside by the torrential rain that was falling. "It hasn't rained like this in years."

"The three of us were stuck together like this once before in the driving raining, remember," Nate recalled, "Chuck's head was on your shoulder that time as well."

"We were a lot younger," Blair smiled at the memory, "He was drunk and passed out, and you were too stoned to care that your best friend was nuzzling your girlfriend's shoulder in the back of his own limo."

"I did slip in between you when he tried to kiss you," Nate tried to defend himself.

"And you tried to get to second base on me for the first time," she glared at him, "You were always such the romantic."

"You were pissed at me for days afterwards," Nate laughed. "I couldn't even get to first base on you until Chuck suggested that I send you some peonies to make up for dragging you out of bed at midnight to come get us from that party."

"I was too easy on you," Blair smirked, "Caving to a few flowers after you made me come get you from a party that you didn't invite me to after you told me that you and Chuck were going to spend the night in his hotel suite studying for some stupid test. I should have known that wasn't true. You never studied."

"Things aren't getting better for you, are they?" he sobered up suddenly. His eyes told her that he was referencing the attack but was too afraid to actually say the words out loud.

"That's not true," she shook her head, "I'm so much better than I was after the attack."

"How did we end up here then?" Nate inquired.

"It was a rough day in therapy," Blair explained, "Things were said in the heat of the moment that were misinterpreted."

"I think that's a gross understatement," Nate replied.

"A word with over two syllables. That's quite a feat for you," she snarled at him. "I'm really not in the mood, Archibald. Do us both a favor and keep your mouth shut for the rest of the drive."

"Blair," Chuck moaned softly in his sleep just as Nate was about to defend himself.

"I'm right here," she whispered as she caressed his cheek softly with her free hand.

Chuck burrowed into her neck as his arms slid around her waist bringing her in closer. Nate shifted uncomfortably in his seat as Blair shifted so that she was sitting in his lap.

"I'm right here," Blair whispered again as her lips pressed against his forehead softly. "I'm not going anywhere."

As they arrived at their penthouse, it took the driver, the doorman, Nate and Blair to get Chuck into the elevator as he'd been impossible to wake in the car. He was a dead weight as Nate and Blair managed to prop him up in the elevator.

"I can take it from here," Blair told Nate as they stopped outside Blair and Chuck's bedroom.

"You'll crumble like a twig," Nate laughed softly, "He weighs a ton right now. You'll never manage to get him into the bed on your own."

"I'll be fine," Blair insisted.

"Blair, seriously, we've gotten him this far. What is a few more steps?" Nate looked at her as he tried to figure out what was going on in that head of hers.

"Close your eyes, Archibald," she hissed as she reached for the doorknob.

"What?" Nate exclaimed, "What on earth for?"

"I don't want you seeing our bedroom," Blair explained, "Now close them."

"What are you trying to hide? The stripper pole and sex swing?" he quipped.

"Yes, now close them, or I'll gouge your eyes out," she growled.

"You don't have a sex swing," Nate rolled his eyes. "I can see him talking you into a stripper pole, but never a sex swing."

"You'll never know, now shut them or lose them," she warned him. "And it would be a shame to deny the world those baby blues. They do nothing for me, but they make the panties of these impressionable Upper East Siders drop like flies."

"You always have had such a way with words," Nate laughed as he shook his head.

"Close them or I drop my end and let Chuck crush you," Blair demanded.

"You're being ridiculous," Nate told her as he begrudgingly closed his eyes. "If you walk me into a wall, I'm going to be angry."

"If you peak, I'm putting you out of commission permanently," she added as she began to lead both Chuck and Nate forward.

When they had Chuck fully on the bed, Blair nudged Nate out of the room before he could get his peak in. It was on the way out of the room that she saw the shattered glass littered across the hallway.

"He was in a pretty good rage, wasn't he?" Nate observed as his eyes saw what Blair's did.

"It's what he does when he thinks his world is crashed around him," she replied as she spotted the antique crystal vase her father had given her as a housewarming gift upon his first visit, "He saved the important pieces though. Looks like it's just a few of generic Tiffany vases that can easily be replaced."

"It's raining pretty hard outside. I heard Arthur say that he was taking the car to the garage for the evening. Do you mind if I crash here tonight? I don't see how it will be possible to hail a taxi," Nate explained.

"You don't have to stay for me," Blair replied, "Chuck won't hurt me."

"No offense, but I'm not worried about you right now," Nate stated, "He's my best friend, and I almost lost him tonight."

"I see your point. I guess there are plenty of guest rooms for you to choose from. I'll see if I can find you something to sleep in," she consented. "Give me a few minutes to get him out of those wet clothes."

"Take your time," Nate replied, "I'm going to find myself a drink. He still keeps the single malt in his office, doesn't he?"

"Yes," she nodded, "If he didn't smash the decanter. He has alcohol on his breath, so it's likely he's been in there."

"I'll have a look," Nate replied as he allowed her to return her attention to Chuck. "No silk please."

It was a struggle to get Chuck undressed, and he was zero help. He was still a dead weight to her. She was breathing heavy as she managed to remove his suit coat, tie, and dress shirt, but those were the most difficult tasks, so she figured she was home free as she removed his shoes and socks and worked his pants open.

"Honestly, Bass, commando at the therapist office," she shook her head in amusement as she removed the trousers to find him without the boxer briefs he usually wore when he wore anything. "There truly is no place sacred to you, is there?"

When he was dressed, she picked up the clothes that he'd littered around their bedroom as he raged against the world.

"I'm sorry, Bass," she whispered as she stopped herself so she could observe his peaceful sleep. She reached out to softly touch his brow. "I never should have said what I did today. Of course this is how you were going to react. I know better than this."

Chuck rolled towards her side of the bed as his arm began to search her out. He must have been able to hear her voice and expected her to be laying next to him.

"I need a few minutes," she whispered in his ear as she kissed his cheek in hopes of calming him down as his search, even in sleep, was turning frantic. "I'll be back."

Blair found Nate in Chuck's office flipping through an old photo album of their quartet from when they were much younger. It was one of the few items she kept in the office as mostly the room was meant to be his sanctuary, as she had her own down the hall. "Here, Archibald," Blair tossed him a pair of flannel pajamas that Serena had given to Chuck for his birthday the year prior that she had forbid him to ever wear to bed.

"Decanter was still in one piece," Nate proclaimed as he held up his glass of scotch as he flipped the page. "Did Chuck always have that goofy grin when you hugged him?"

"Yes," she laughed as she peered over his shoulder to get a look at the picture. She had no idea why she'd been hugging him, but sure enough there was the dopey grin on Chuck's face. "It's kind of like the grin you used to give Serena when she hugged you before she humped you."

"Funny," he replied sarcastically as he suddenly shut the book and returned it to the shelf where he'd first found it. "There's a big difference there. Serena and I aren't living together and essentially engaged."

"Everything turned out for the best," Blair smacked his shoulder.

"Ouch, what was that for?" he barked at her.

"For banging Serena when we were dating," Blair snarled at him.

"You can stop doing that, you know," he rubbed his shoulder to relieve the pain.

"I know," she giggled, "But it makes me feel better. You did cheat on me after all."

"Blair, we can't let this happen again," Nate started the conversation they both knew they needed to have. "If it hadn't been for the storm outside, he would have been gone. There is no way to find him if he doesn't want to be found."

"I know," she nodded.

"It may be important to you to have Chuck with you in therapy, but if you spout off things again in the heat of the moment he's going to react the same way. He blames himself for this. He's beating himself up over this. He's making you deal with this. He's not. The rage is building inside of him. He keeps talking about going to the prison to confront this guy. Chuck would kill him if he was ever allowed in the same room with him."

"I know," she continued to nod.

"He needs help," Nate stated, "And unlike you, he won't see a therapist."

"I know."

"Is that all you can say?" Nate growled.

"I don't know what to do right now," Blair threw up her hands in exasperation. "In case you've missed it. I'm going through quite a bit myself right now."

"He talks to you, doesn't he?" Nate prodded, "He tells you things he doesn't tell me?"

"He does," she nodded.

"He needs to get this out," Nate stated, "Get him to talk to you before he resorts to his usual vices again."

"What do you mean again?"

"When you moved out, Serena called to warn me. I found him sitting at his desk with a mirror full of cocaine. I don't know how close he was to taking it, and I wasn't about to play chicken with it, so I flushed it for him . . . Did you check the pockets of the clothes he was wearing? He had the time, he could have . . ."

"Oh my god," Blair gasped as she flew back into her room and began a frantic search through each of his pockets. Her heart broke as she found a small clear plastic bag full of white powder.

Nate was waiting anxiously just outside her bedroom door when she held up the bag.

"This looks like a full gram," Nate inspected it, "I don't think he's taken any of it."

"There wouldn't be any left if he had," Blair added.

"I'll get rid of it," Nate offered.

"I'm going to go lay with him for awhile. Pick whichever room you want. Just make sure you shut the door so I don't accidentally stumble into bed with you when I choose my own bedroom for the night."

"You aren't going to stay with him?" Nate asked.

"I don't know if I can, at least not all night," she explained. "Maybe for a little while, but not the entire night."

**TBC . . .**


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. They belong to Cecily von Zeigesar and The CW.**

Blair awoke in the morning and began smiling as she took in the familiar surroundings. She'd managed to spend all night at Chuck's side. What was better was that it was the first night she'd slept without a single nightmare. The warmth that they shared felt good as she curled closer into him.

"Good morning," he whispered softly as he ran his fingers along her shoulder softly.

Blair was mildly startled as she hadn't realized he was awake.

"I'm sorry," he apologized quickly as he held his breath in hopes that she wouldn't bolt from the room in a panic.

"Good morning," she smiled as she shifted a smidge closer, "I'm okay. You surprised me, is all. How long have you been awake?"

"Not long," he assured her. "Twenty minutes at most. You were draped across me and looking pretty peaceful. I didn't have the heart to wake you. How did you sleep?"

"Very well," she smiled, "But you still move too much in your sleep. I was probably draped across you so that you would stop moving."

"I'm going to keep moving then if that is your remedy," he teased her gently.

"I'll figure out something else," she glared at him.

"Is this my missing silk dress shirt?" he inquired as he felt the fabric on her body.

"No," she shook her head as she burrowed deeper into his chest. This felt so wonderful. She never wanted it to end.

"I'm missing a silk dress shirt," he eyed her skeptically.

"How can you even tell?" she shook her head, "You have fifty silk dress shirts, and you cannot tell me you take inventory of all of them. I know you too well, Bass."

"Right now I have forty-nine," he explained.

"Okay, then what color is the shirt that you're supposedly missing?" she challenged him.

"I'm not supposedly missing anything, and it's the same color as the one that you are currently wearing, pistachio green," he replied.

"This isn't pistachio, it's mint," she shook her head in amusement. Only Chuck Bass would know that dress shirts came in pistachio and mint green and not just simply light green.

"So if I go over to your mother's penthouse right this moment, I'm not going to find the dress shirt anywhere in your bedroom," he challenged her.

"Not if I can give Dorota a call to stash it somewhere else," she snickered.

"That's what I thought," he began to chuckle, "You didn't have to be sneaky. I would have let you take it, had you asked."

"Where is the fun in that?" she laughed along with him.

He couldn't resist the urge to kiss her forehead in reply.

"We need to talk about last night," she told him as she turned serious. "I found some coke in your pants pocket, and your best friend said he found you with a mirror full not too long ago. Have you gone back to . . ."

"No," he shook his head quickly, "I made the purchases. I'm not going to deny that, but I didn't use any of it. Before you ask, those were the only two purchases I've made."

"You gave all that up for me, I know that," she replied, "But I cannot bare to see you pushed towards that again, especially because of me."

"You never judged Nathaniel for his pot consumption. You don't get to judge me for this," he told her defensively.

"This is completely different," she held firm, "Pot merely mellowed you and Nate out. I've seen the effects coke has on you. You are a completely different person. It's like you're flying at a hundred miles an hour. You can't sit still. You're anxious and paranoid. When you're strung out, you're violent and mean, and I'm scared to be around you. I'm not going to be around you if you go back to it."

"Is this an ultimatum?" he challenged her.

"Yes, it is," she nodded quickly.

"Where's my phone?" he asked her as he began looking around the room for the suit jacket he'd worn the previous evening.

"What?" she looked at him in confusion as he gently rolled her away from him as he located his cell phone and then returned to the bed as he thumbed through the contacts.

"This is my dealer," he showed her the number. "I never deleted it even though I haven't called the number once in the two plus years you and I were together before all of this." He quickly hit a few buttons and showed her the screen that asked him if he wanted to confirm the deletion of the number. Blair didn't even wait for any direction. She quickly hit the confirm button. "Is there anything else you need me to delete?"

"Any escort services in here?" she inquired curiously as she took the phone away from him and began strolling through the contacts herself. He tried to reach for the phone, but she anticipated his move and rolled further away from him as she deleted random, unfamiliar numbers as she went. "When was the last time you cleaned this thing out?"

"Blair," he tried to scold her.

"Kiwi, really," she snickered, "Gidget . . .Busty . . . Long Legs . . . Stringy . . . are these even really names or just descriptions of their assets, or lack thereof?"

Chuck groaned as he let her have her fun. He made a mental note to have Eugenia reprogram the numbers that he would be missing after she was finished.

"Vivian Prescott?"

"Director of HR," he told her, "Don't delete that number."

"I'm going to get carpal tunnel from deleting all these numbers," she giggled, "What did you keep in that little black book of yours if you had all these numbers programmed in here?"

"Hardcopy backup," he told her as he made another attempt at snatching the phone away from her, "And you know very well that I gave that book to Nate two Christmases ago."

"I remember," she laughed, "He was the giddiest person at the children's table. Eugenia's sons weren't half as happy as he was."

"I haven't called any of those numbers since I told you I loved you," he tried to assure her.

"I know," she nodded confidently as she kept clicking keys. "I'm not worried. You never would have found the energy. It's a full time job keeping up with my libido."

"As it is for you, Beautiful, keeping up with mine," he smirked.

"This phone is going to work so much faster when I'm finished," Blair giggled, "Good lord, Bass, do you know how much memory these things take up?"

"I think I can managed to finish on my own," he stated as he finally managed to grasp the phone away from her.

"I will be checking," she cautioned him, "I'm understanding today. I won't be tomorrow."

"Did you sleep okay last night?" he inquired as he ran his fingers through her tangled mess of curls. "Aside from me moving?"

"Better than I have in awhile," she nodded as she decided to curl herself against him again. "I wish you could guarantee that last night's peaceful sleep was solely because you."

"I wish I could too," he told her as he began caressing her back softly, "Then you could come home, and we'd be able to have more moments like this."

"Perhaps we should build up to me returning full time. Maybe start out with once a week to see how it goes," she suggested as she began playing with the buttons of his pajama shirt.

"One night of peaceful sleep a week, I like that better than the alternative, no peaceful nights of sleep each week," he replied as she successfully unbuttoned the first of his buttons. He raised an eyebrow in curiosity as she gave him a mischievously look. "Are you going anywhere with that?"

"No," she shook her head, "Just keeping my skills fresh."

"Practice all you want," he told her.

"You should call Lily," Blair suggested as she rebuttoned and then unbuttoned the same button over and over, "She must be worried sick about you. Nate said she went out of her mind last night when we called her to get the jet held up."

"I will a little later," he assured her as her eyes began to drift closed. "You're tired. Go back to sleep."

"I want to fight you on this because I know how worried she must be, but I am tired," she nodded as she began to yawn.

"Sleep," he encouraged her, "I'm not going anywhere."

"I'll tie you up if I have to," she warned him.

"Is that supposed to be a threat because you know I've enjoyed that in the past," he chuckled.

"Charles Bartholomew Bass, you had me worried sick!" Lily exclaimed as she quickly rushed to hug him as he and Blair entered her penthouse. Chuck had wanted to just call Lily, but Blair had insisted on him speaking to Lily in person.

"I'm sorry, Lily," he replied as he let her hold him for as long as she wanted unlike when he usually pulled away after a quick moment.

"Don't you dare do that to me again," Lily scolded him as she smacked his shoulder. "Thank goodness for that storm. I kept your resignation quiet. I expect that you'll want to rescind it."

"Yes, he would," Blair chimed in without allowing Chuck a moment to answer.

"Yes, I would," Chuck confirmed.

"Thank goodness Blair and Nathaniel had the foresight to go after you," Lily replied as she hugged Chuck once more, knowing that she couldn't hug Blair even though she wanted to. Serena had kept her up to date on Blair's therapy. "I'm insisting you two stay for lunch, so that you and I can talk afterwards."

"Lunch would be lovely," Blair smiled as she looked at the spread that Lily had laid out. She and Chuck had planned on lunch at her favorite restaurant, but her reply told Chuck he had no choice. He'd be taking his lumps from Lily later.

"Charles, I don't know what you were thinking last night, but I know it couldn't have been about what is best for Blair," Lily began as she escorted Chuck into her office after Serena barged in during lunch and pulled Blair into her room to help her pack up for Brown having decided mostly on the spur of the moment to go back to the Ivy League school. "She would have been devastated had you left . . . inconsolable."

"I know," he nodded, "I don't have any valid excuses for my thought process yesterday. I wasn't thinking rationally. I was overreacting to what I heard yesterday during Blair's therapy session. It's not an excuse, but it's the only explanation that I have."

"Charles, I'm not your mother, at least not biologically, but after Blair, I am the one that cares most for you. Did you give any thought of my feelings when you thought up your disappearing act? Did you think of Nathaniel or Eric or Serena? Your life is different now than it was when your father first died. You are not alone. You have people that care about you very deeply and who would be devastated to lose you. Please keep that in mind for the future."

"This won't happen again, Lily," Chuck tried to assure her.

"I hope you'll forgive me for not believing you," Lily shook her head, "You're too much like your father. It is so easy for you to believe the worst and to react without the slightest thought to other people's feelings. Your father never truly trusted anyone after your mother died, and unfortunately that mistrust was handed down to you."

"Don't bring him in to this," Chuck growled.

"He's in this," Lily held firm, "He's in every bit of this. Good or bad, he was your role model. He shaped your life in a way no one else has. You love Blair, and she loves you and she needs you right now. If you trust no one else, you have to find a way to trust in Blair and trust that even through the bumps she wants you in her life."

"Slowly, we're getting there," he replied.

"Last night aside, I hope you know how proud I am of you," Lily smiled as she hugged him warmly, "And I can see how proud your father would be too."

"If he ever gave me a chance to prove myself," he added glumly.

"He was a stubborn man," Lily replied, "But so are you. Eventually you would have gotten through to him, especially if he was able to see you with Blair. You have such an amazing vibe that surrounds you when the two of you are together. Your father would have seen that."

"Not likely," he grumbled.

Lily sighed in defeat. Chuck was never going to let himself believe that his father thought anything good about him. If he ever did, it certainly wasn't going to be Lily to convince him.

"See if you can rescue Blair," Lily suggested, "Serena hasn't even begun to pack for school. Blair will be here all day if Serena gets her way."

"She's not going to have her way," Chuck stated firmly as he and Lily made their way back into the living area. "Blair and I have planned to spend today together. We don't have much time left before she returns her attentions to school."

"Are you going back to Bass full-time then?" Lily asked hopefully.

"Perhaps not full-time in relation to before everything happened, but I will be a more regular fixture," he replied.

"That's good to hear," Lily replied, "And I'm sure the board will be happy to hear that as well."

"I've been thinking," Blair announced as they walked slowly through Central Park under a large golf umbrella that Chuck was holding over them to keep them dry. It wasn't raining nearly as hard as it had been the previous evening, but the rain had refused to let up entirely. Even through the rain, she insisted on their walk.

"You thinking is either good or bad," he told her, his voice hesitant as he spoke.

"Last night being so close to you felt good," Blair began, "And being close to you is getting easier."

"What exactly is this thought that you're having?" he asked as she stopped suddenly.

"Kiss me, Chuck," she demanded as she turned to face him. Her eyes were full of the familiar fire he hadn't seen in such a long time, but she could see the hesitation in his. "I'm not going to get better if we keep tip toeing around physical contact. I want us to get to that familiar place where we simply cannot be in the same room together without having to rip each other's clothes off."

"Perhaps we should discuss this with Lori first," he suggested. "This seems like a decision that she should be a part of."

"I'm discussing this with you," Blair held firm. "This is between you and me. There is no need to involve anyone else in this discussion. I trust you. I know that if I ask you to stop, you will without hesitation. I'm ready to get on with my life, Chuck, and I need you to be ready to do the same."

"I am ready," he nodded, "You have no idea how ready, but I don't want to rush you."

"You aren't rushing me," she cackled sarcastically, "I'm the one that is asking, no wait, nearly begging for you to kiss me. I've never had to do that before. Please don't make me start now."

"I just need you to be sure," he explained.

"Kiss me," she pleaded with him as she grabbed a hold of his tie and brought him closer, tempting him in to action. There only other kiss had been soft and gentle, and it was what she needed at the time. Now she needed more. She needed him to devour her, and she knew that was what her eyes were asking him to do.

"Tell me to stop if it becomes too much," he whispered as his lips hover a millimeter from hers. She nodded slightly which brushed her lips against his as she tightened her hold on his tie when he flinched. He looked into her eyes one more time to make absolute certain that he hadn't misinterpreted what she'd wanted. Her eyes were pools of desire that he was helpless to resist as he moved in slowly to kiss her, softly at first.

"Finally," she mumbled against his lips as his free arm came around her waist to pull her in closer as he deepened the kiss. She nearly cried out in relief as he wasn't treating her like porcelain in that moment. He was kissing her, truly, deeply kissing her as if his life depended upon it. The familiarity felt wonderful. She finally felt alive. There wasn't even a thought of the event from previous months ago. She was in the moment.

"I have to stop," he whispered as he relaxed his hold on her as he pulled his lips away.

"Please don't," she tried to tempt him.

"It's too tempting to keep going . . . to keep pushing for more, which I know you're not ready for," he explained.

She didn't try to hide her disappointment as her head came to rest against his chest. His heart was hammering. That was her remedy, knowing that she'd affected him as much as he had her. Being in his arms was enough right now. It had to be. "I love you, Chuck," she smiled as she wrapped her arms tight around his neck to keep him close.

"I love you," he added as his arm tightened ever so slightly.

Neither knew how long they stood wrapped in each other's arms as they savored the familiarity, but when they pulled away, the rain clouds were beginning to break up and the sun was trying to peak through.

"That's a sign, Bass," Blair announced, "The storm is starting to pass. There are clearer skies ahead."

"I hope so," he nodded as he collapsed the umbrella before he took her hand and continued on with their walk.

Blair hated that Chuck was trying to leave that night after a quiet dinner at her mother's home. She desperately wanted him to stay, but couldn't find the words to ask.

After their walk through the park, they'd returned to her mother's home. It had been Blair's suggestion that they watch a movie of his choosing. Chuck figured that a light comedy would be what they needed, but they didn't even get past the opening credits before Blair planted herself in his lap and distracted him with her lips. They stayed that way for the rest of the afternoon and into the evening. It was Dorota's interruption to announce that dinner was ready that pulled Blair away from him. It was one of the few times she'd wished that Dorota would have vanished.

Now he was standing in front of his limo with her wrapped around him. The floodgates had been opened. The physical boundaries, as far as she was concerned, no longer existed. Being with him like this simply felt too good.

"I should go," he offered up the suggestion for the fifth time.

"No," she shook her head, "Stay a little longer."

"I'd stay forever if you asked," he told her as he ran his hands along her back gently, "But you're not ready. I'll be here first thing in the morning, and we can have one last day of summer together before you return to school on Monday."

"Can we do whatever I'd like?" she inquired as she batted her eyelashes, playing as if that was the only way that she'd get her way when she knew full well that she'd get it anyway.

"Whatever you'd like to do," he agreed, "But if we need the jet, I should notify the crew tonight."

"No jet," she shook her head, "Maybe a helicopter."

"Are you thinking about making an appearance in the Hamptons?" he eyed her with a knowing glance.

"Perhaps," she smiled, "I should try to get something that resembles a tan before I return to school. I'm pathetically pale."

"I'll put the pilot on notice," he nodded as he tried to untangle himself.

"Stop," she scolded him as she backed him against the limo so he had no place to go.

"I should have waited until you were tucked in to bed and floating through the dream clouds," he chuckled.

She attacked his lips with renewed vigor. Her own lips felt bruised, but she didn't care.

"I should go," he responded for the sixth time as she pulled away for breath. "If we're going to the Hamptons, we'll want to leave early."

She pouted as he finally succeeded in freeing himself from her grasp. She expected him to dive into the limo and have his driver peel out, but even as he opened the limo door, he seemed hesitant to leave.

"If you need anything, I'm a phone call away," he assured her as he trailed his finger along her bruised lips. Her hair was a tangled mess, her lips were red and swollen and she had a dazed look in her eyes, but she'd never looked more beautiful to him. It had been far too long since they'd spent nearly an entire day making out. He probably would have to go back to high school to remember a time in which they'd made out without it progressing to sex. That was back when she was still discovering the joys of a physical relationship and didn't allow him to push her further.

"I love you," she told him as her eyes were fixated on his lips.

"I love you," he nodded as he kissed her softly one more time.

**TBC . . .**

**I know my Chair fans were disheartened by the season finale, but it will be my mission to encourage all of you to keep the faith as I choose too.**


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. They belong to Cecily von Zeigesar and The CW.**

"Bass, I can use your assistance," Blair told him as she held up the tube of sunscreen as they laid out on the sandy beach in front of the Bass summer home that Chuck had inherited from his father.

His mood had soured considerably since they'd first entered the home. She had a feeling that the residence was going to be on the market before Labor Day. It was as if the demons of the home had latched onto him as soon as he entered.

Chuck took the tube out of her hands and dutifully applied the sunscreen as she'd requested, covering every inch of her exposed skin, but he clearly wasn't enjoying the sight of her in a bikini as she'd hoped.

"Did you want to go back to New York?" she frowned.

"No," he shook his head quickly, "You wanted sun damage. You'll get sun damage."

"Maybe we should go to Lily's Hampton home," she suggested, "You don't seem comfortable here."

"You wanted a day at the beach. I'm giving you that," he told her.

"You are," she nodded, "But you're not really enjoying yourself, and I can't enjoy myself if you can't enjoy yourself."

Chuck frowned in confusion as her words spun him in a circle.

"That made more sense in my head," she replied, "But my point is, I cannot enjoy this day seeing you looking so miserable. I had no idea that coming here would put you in this mood."

"I haven't been here in years," Chuck replied as he looked towards the magnificent home just beyond the beach they'd set up residence on. "He bought it for my mother, and had her renovate it."

"I didn't know that," she replied as she reached for his hand.

"He came here on his own twice a year on his own like clockwork, on their anniversary and on my birthday. I never spent that day with him."

Blair swallowed hard as she choked back the tears.

"I feel his ghost here, Blair," Chuck admitted, "I feel it here like I feel it no where else."

"What do you want to do?" she asked as she rubbed his shoulder softly to offer him comfort.

"I'm torn," he replied, "It's my mother's. It's the one thing that he kept true to who she was. It's my connection to her, which you know is something that I'm desperate for, but it's also my connection to him. That connection is something I want to break."

"Maybe you don't sell it," she suggested, "At least not yet."

"What is the point of keeping some place that I'm never comfortable visiting?"

"It's your mom's," she reminded him, "You have so little of her left. Perhaps some day you will feel comfortable visiting, or at the very least feel comfortable giving to someone else. Keep this, but we'll find another place in the Hampton's that you're more comfortable with."

"Who could I possibly feel comfortable giving this to?" he thought out loud as he motioned towards the home.

"No one that exists yet," she blushed as she averted her gaze, "That's several years into our future, but . . ."

It took a moment for him to connect the dots, but when he did he returned her gaze to his and kissed her lips softly. She was looking into their future again and that cheered him up in ways he didn't know how to verbalize.

"I have a thought," she smiled mysteriously.

"Your thought yesterday led us to an afternoon and evening of making out," he chuckled. "What does this new thought have in store for us?"

"More of the same," she smirked as she crawled across the blanket until she was perched as close to him as she could get, "Only we're wearing far less clothing, so I'm going to have to trust that you'll behave."

"With as forward as you've been in the last twenty-four hours, I'm more worried about you behaving," he told her honestly. "Just promise me you won't do something that you won't be comfortable with a few minutes later."

"I'll try," she snickered in amusement. He was so cute when he was being so protective, and it amused her even more that he was protecting her from herself.

Blair could feel Chuck's heart hammering as she wrapped her arms around him. She could hear him groan as their bodies met, skin-to-skin. She slowly pushed him until he was lay down as she was over him, kissing him with everything she had. His hands stayed still against her back.

"Chuck, let go," she whispered against his lips, "It's okay. I'm okay. This feels good."

Chuck hands slowly began to work along her body, keeping them in relatively neutral places, yet Blair's hands were everywhere, along his back, on his chest, her nails dragging along, leaving marks that he'd surely wear with pride. She moaned softly as she rocked her hips against his experimentally.

"Blair, stop," he groaned as he rolled her away suddenly, sitting up so he wouldn't have to see the disappointment in her eyes. "You can't do things like that to me, not right now."

"Do what? Kiss you?" she asked as she reached for his shoulder as she was up on her knees so she could hug him close as she missed the heat they'd shared moments earlier.

"Kiss me all you want, wear as little or as much as you want, but no rocking or thrusting of your hips against mine. There is only one response that you're going to get from me," he replied as he looked into his lap to see the erection that was forming despite how inappropriate he knew it was, "It's been three, almost four months since we've made love. You have to know how crazy that is making me."

"I'm turned on too," she whispered in his ear, "And this is hard for me too, no pun intended."

Despite his mood, he chuckled at her response.

"I miss making love to you," she added, "I miss feeling that close to you. I want us to get back to that, but it has to be slow. You're right, I shouldn't have done what I did, but I was in the moment and didn't think it through. If you want to look at it positively, I'm not running along the beach screaming my lungs out. I'm still here, craving your touch. This is a good step for us."

Chuck nodded softly as her forehead pressed against the side of his head.

"What do you think the water temperature is?" Chuck asked suddenly.

"I don't know, seventy degrees, if you're lucky," she replied, "You've never gone for a dip before."

"I've never had the inappropriate erection before," he replied, "And seeing how the surf is closer than the cold shower."

"Chuck Bass, you'll freeze 'Little Bass' right off, and I would never forgive you," she scolded him.

"Sorry, Beautiful, it must be done," he told her as he kissed her lips softly before he dashed from the blanket and towards the surf. He didn't test the waters. He dove right in, head first. She expected him to run back as quickly as he'd run in, but he swam around for a few minutes.

Blair decided to walk to the water's edge to test the temperature for herself. One toe dipped in and a shiver ran through her entire body. As a wave came crashing towards her, she scurried further from the water's edge to avoid the frigid water.

Having become accustomed to the temperature, Chuck was determined to get her wet from head to toe. He stealthy followed her back to the blanket. Before she could react, he tossed her over his shoulder and carried her back towards the surf.

"Chuck! Put me down!" she squealed as she kicked her legs back and forth as she tried to free herself before they were at the point of no return.

"I will, Beautiful," he assured her as he tightened his grip.

"Chuck, don't!" she continued to squirm.

She had no hope of dissuading him, and as soon as he was deep enough, he dropped her straight into the drink.

"Oh my god that's cold," she shivered as her hands ran along her shoulders in effort to warm herself up.

"Come here," he replied as he advanced towards her as she glared at him.

"I am so mad at you right now," she stared him down.

"Come here," he continued to laugh as he pulled her against him to warm her up.

"You're freezing, Bass," she shivered against him.

"Put your arms around me. You'll warm up," he assured her as he rubbed her back vigorously.

"Hopefully you don't warm yourself up too much," she teased as she pecked at his chest lightly as her arms came around his waist. "We'll have to start this all over again."

Chuck smacked her lightly on the butt in scolding. "We both needed a little cooling off."

"Can we go back to the blanket and lay out?" she requested as she continued to kiss his chest softly.

"As long as you promise to behave," he eyed her.

"No promises," she shook her head like a mischievous little girl.

Chuck cupped her head in his hands, running his thumb along her lips, "I drop you back into the water."

"Would you really do that to me?" she stuck out her lip to pout.

"Yes," he told her sternly. "You're too damn tempting for your own good right now."

"Okay, I'll promise to behave," she replied as she crossed her fingers behind his back.

"Don't think that I don't see the mischievous twinkle in your eyes," he told her, "Remember how cold this water is. I will not hesitate to toss you back in with the sharks."

"Chuck Bass, you wouldn't dare."

"Wouldn't I?" he challenged her as he raised an eyebrow.

"So much for my chivalrous Bass," she replied smartly.

Chuck took his cue as he swept her up in his arms and carried her the short distance back to their blanket.

"Your lips are blue," Blair told him as he laid her down gently, her fingers tracing along his lips softly, "I think you need a bit of warming up."

"And I bet you're a willing accomplice," he chuckled.

"I most definitely am," she nodded her head vigorously.

"I'll suffer through until the sun warms me," he told her as he laid out on the blanket next to her, putting a safe distance between them.

Blair turned onto her side and ran her eyes along his body. Her gaze settled on his lap. "I just hope that something else isn't blue because I know how painful that is for you."

"You have a one track mind today," he chuckled in amusement.

"Chuck, I need my sunscreen reapplied," she told him as she held the tube up for him.

"I just put that on a half hour ago," he replied.

"I was put through the rinse cycle since then," she stated, "And this sunscreen isn't water proof."

Chuck let out a low growl in the back of his throat as he snatched the sunscreen out of her hand and dumped a generous amount of the cream onto his hands. Blair bit back a laugh as he slapped his hand against her shoulder and began to massage the cream into her skin. He was as diligent as before, making sure ever crevice of her body was covered. He'd witness her with sunburn during one of their first tropical vacations and never wanted to repeat it as she was miserable.

"My turn," Blair told him as she took the sunscreen from him and urged him to lie down on his stomach. Before he could even get comfortable, her hands were on his skin as she massaged the lotion into his skin.

"That feels very good," Chuck begrudgingly admitted.

"You have always liked my massages," she whispered into his ear as she paused to add more sunscreen to her hands, tossing the tube aside carelessly within his view.

"Blair," he sat up suddenly with the sunscreen bottle in his hands, "This says waterproof."

"It does," she batted her eyelashes innocently before she burst out laughing. "I guess I didn't read it that closely."

"You are in so much trouble," he told her as he pounced on her, pinning her hands over her head as his body covered hers.

"Chuck, stop!" she pleaded, her voice suddenly full of panic as he was hovering above her. "Let me up!"

Chuck was off her instantly as she shoved herself free as she began gasping for air in her panic as she curled herself tightly into a ball. He suddenly felt helpless. He couldn't touch her. He couldn't comfort her. He didn't know what he could do other than encourage her to breath and try to assure her that she was safe.

With tears in her eyes, she finally calmed down.

"I'm sorry," he replied as he tentatively reached for her hand. It was a tiny victory that she didn't flinch at his touch. "I lost my head for a moment. It won't happen again."

"It's not your fault," she shook her head as the tears began to tumble down her cheek, "This is who we are. I don't want to react this way. It was just a split second that the memory flashed into my head, and it's going to ruin our entire day."

"It won't," he shook his head, "We won't let it."

"I'm done sunbathing," she told him as she reached for her cover-up and put it on.

"Are you sure?" he inquired as she began to pack up her things, "There is still plenty of sunshine left."

"I'm sure," she nodded.

"How does lunch in town sound?" he inquired as he quickly gathered the rest of their belongings as she waited for him to follow her back to the house.

"Okay," she agreed as she grasped his free hand, "I'm craving those crab cakes we had the last time we came to the Hamptons."

"Crab cakes it is," he smiled as he squeezed her hand gently.

"I need to shower before we leave – to rinse off the sunscreen," she added as they stepped into the house. Chuck nodded as he followed her to the master bedroom where their day bag had been left after they changed into their bathing suits. She bit her lip before nervously adding, "Will you join me?"

"I don't think that will be wise," he shook his head.

She frowned in reply.

"Not that I don't want to because I do. I desperately do, but I don't want to scare you again," he added quickly, "And you naked in a shower after these many months, that seemed inevitable."

"I need to be pushed out of my comfort zone," she told him as she stepped towards him and caressed his chest softly, her fingers running through the hair on his chest and savoring the silkiness as it sifted through her fingers. "I trust you. If I start to get uncomfortable, I know you'll give me my space."

"I'm going to react again," he told her as he captured her hand and held it firmly against his chest.

"I've seen you with an erection before," she reminded him, "It doesn't make me blush anymore."

"I'm not worrying about making you blush right now," he told her as he kissed her forehead gently, "I'm worried about permanently scaring you."

"I need you to push me," she told him, "I desperately want us to get back to what we had, and I need you to lead me there like you did that first night in the limo. I just need to take it much slower this time. Help me."

"Okay," he nodded as he took her sun bag off her shoulder and led her into the bathroom as he turned on the water to get it warmed to her perfect temperature. He watched her carefully as he lifted her swimsuit cover-up off her body waiting for any sign of hesitation. There was a slight sigh of relief when he found none.

"Kiss me," she whispered as his fingers tangled in the strings of her bikini top.

His lips were soft against hers as he pulled all the strings free as her top fell away. Slowly he wrapped his arms around her waist and backed her into the shower after quickly testing to make sure the temperature wouldn't scald her delicate skin.

"Chuck," she gasped as she broke away for breath, her arms tight around him to keep him close. Feeling him so close felt amazing.

"Do we need to slow down?" he asked as he looked into her eyes.

"No," she shook her head as he reached for the loufah sponge and poured a generous amount of bodywash onto it and began to scrub her back softly. She reached for his bathing suit and pushed it off his hips as her hands began to roam his lower back.

Chuck felt himself react as she pulled him tighter against her. He'd never been so thankful in all his life that she was wearing that one barrier that separated them as it was too tempting to back her against the shower wall and claim as he hadn't it far too long.

"Step away, Blair," he commanded her.

"No," she told him defiantly, "Push me past my boundaries."

"That's what I'm afraid of," he told her as his forehead came to rest against her shoulder as the loufah fell to the shower floor when he took a deep breath to calm himself down as much as he could.

"This feels good," she told him as her hands continued to roam his body freely, feeling ever inch of him she could, but she wanted more yet lacked the courage to dive right in, "Chuck, can I touch you?"

"Only if you're okay with it," he replied. Her hands were on his erection before he had a chance to prepare himself. There was a guttural groan from his throat that echoed through the shower as she stroked him gently. His hips moved reflectively against her hand. She's stroked him before, but this felt a thousand times more intense than those other moments did. "Oh god, Blair, I'm close."

"Let go," she encouraged him as her grip tightened ever so slightly. It took only a few more thrusts as he exploded against her hand.

"Wow," he chuckled as his forehead came to rest against hers.

"That was a long time coming," she replied as she caressed his cheek softly. "My turn."

"Blair," he gasped as he shook his head vigorously to deny her request.

"Push me," she whispered softly as she turned around and brought his arm around her waist as his hand came to rest at her stomach.

"Tell me to stop if this becomes to much," he spoke softly as his fingers inched lower, tracing along the edge of her bikini bottoms. She nodded in agreement as his fingers slid lower, beneath the fabric, moving slowly, inch by inch until he reached her delicate folds. Her breath caught in her throat. It was the hitch he needed to pull away, but she caught his hand.

"Keep going," she moaned softly as she leaned into him more fully.

"I love you, Blair," he whispered against her ear as he caressed the outside of her folds delicately, "And I'll never hurt you."

"I know," she nodded her head confidently, "Keep going."

Chuck pushed one finger in between her folds, stroking softly. She was so warm and clearly ready for him as his fingers moved easily.

"Oh, yes," she proclaimed as her head came to rest against his shoulder as she looked to the heavens to say her own type of prayer as he expertly caressed her, bringing her to a quick, but satisfying release. He continued to stroke her gently even as the last quiver of her orgasm subsided. She simply felt too amazing to release.

"That was more amazing to feel and hear than my own," he spoke against her lobe as he gently pulled his fingers free. Blair spun around suddenly and kissed him as passionately as she could muster, her energy mostly drained from the mind-bending experience they had just shared.

"Thank you," she spoke quietly against his lips. "I desperately needed that. I needed to be reminded of how amazing it feels to be close to you like this. It gives me the incentive that I need to push through all this darkness still inside of me to find the light that I know you're offering me at the end."

"We'll get you there together," he nodded, "One small step at a time."

"This wasn't a small step," she smiled, "This was a gigantic leap, one that we desperately needed to make. I want to come home."

"Home?" he repeated. He said a familiar prayer that her definition of home meant the same as his.

"Out of Eleanor's, back to the penthouse," she nodded, "Back to us sharing the same bed. It's going to be slow going, but I think I'm ready for that. Actually I know I am. I'm ready to share my life with you again."

"And you can come home whenever you'd like," he reiterated what he'd been saying since the moment she'd left.

"Today . . . now," she replied, "Let's get back on that helicopter and get back to the city."

"Then we'll need to get out of this shower and dry ourselves off," he chuckled as he reached for and turned off the water.

"Dry each other off," she amended as she grabbed for the towels before he could and began running the towel along his body, smoothing away every droplet of water that clung to his skin. When he was dry she handed him the towel and allowed him to do the same.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" he asked as they returned to the bedroom and stepped into their dry clothes.

"Yes," she nodded confidently, "Not only is this what I want, this is what I need."

"We need to set some boundaries," he told her. "I know you. You're going to try and push yourself faster than you're ready. So here is the deal . . ."

"Deal?" she scowled as she cut him off, "First I'm welcome home whenever, and now we have to make a deal."

"You move home, but we hold off on making love until we've discussed it with Lori. That's too big a step to jump into without any thought. It wasn't even thirty minutes ago that you were in tears."

She hated to admit it, but he had a valid point, damn him. "Okay," she nodded reluctantly.

* * *

"Are you sure you want to stay here tonight?" Chuck inquired as they laid in bed that evening after packing up her belongings at her mother's home and returning to the penthouse. She'd been giddy all afternoon and into the evening. Now she was curled up against him and trying desperately to keep her first day of school jitters at bay, so she could fall asleep.

"Will you relax already," she slapped his chest lightly, "Your anxiety is making me more anxious than I already am."

"I'm going to sleep in the guest room," Chuck sat up quickly.

"You are doing no such thing," Blair told him as she grabbed a hold of him and shoved him back to the bed roughly. To make her point she draped herself over top of him so he couldn't move.

"Blair," he groaned as she was perched precariously on top of him. He didn't want to react, but he couldn't help himself. "I'm going to need a cold shower if you continue on your current path."

"Today was the perfect day to rejuvenate before school," she sighed as she slid herself off him and into her previous position of being curled against his side.

"And you have a little color," he told her as he traced along her cheeks where there were hints of redness from where the sun's rays had burned through her sunscreen.

"It was such a simple day, but it felt like one of the better we've had together. I think that is when we're at our best; simple days together," she added, "Sometimes I think you and I complicate our days with these grand romantic gestures because of all this money that we have in our bank accounts. Sometimes, it's the simplest days that are best, like the one we spent today."

"Is that before or after the private helicopter ride my estate in the Hamptons?" he chuckled.

"Let me have this thought without you poking holes in it," she scolded him as she jammed her finger into the ribs.

"Have as many thoughts as you want," he sighed as he allowed himself to relax.

"I'm done thinking for today," she replied as she burrowed into his arms. "Good night, Bass."

"Good night, B," he replied as he kissed her forehead. "I love you."

"Love you too," she mumbled as she drifted off.

**TBC . . .**

**It is good to see that so many of my Chair fans have not given up despite the obvious challenges that are ahead in the next season. That cheered me up more than can be expressed.**


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. They belong to Cecily von Zeigesar and The CW.**

"Mister Bass, this is a surprise," Lori stated as Chuck came barging into her office after bypassing her assistant as he was intent on seeing Blair's therapist. "You left things rather abruptly during Blair's last session. Were you wanting to talk through that?"

"I'm not here to talk about me and my issues," Chuck told her as he took a seat, "Nothing against you or the profession, but my issues run a little deeper than weekly one hour sessions could cover. I'm here for Blair."

"Is she okay?" Lori inquired. She'd been worried about Blair's state of mind as she left their last session. After Chuck had stormed out, Lori had tried to rally Blair's spirits by assured her that Chuck was just upset and would come around, but Blair wasn't buying into her assurances.

"She moved back into our penthouse last night," Chuck explained.

"That's a good thing," Lori smiled, "You must be thrilled."

"I would be if I knew that this was going to last, but I think it's only a matter of time before she returns to her mother's," he replied, "She had another nightmare last night."

"Nightmares are not an uncommon occurrence for Blair," Lori replied.

"It wasn't about the attack," he shook his head. "It's an old nightmare that she used to have when we first started our relationship. She's with me in a meadow and then there's a flash of light, and I suddenly vanish. She runs into a dark forest to find me, but only hears the cackling laughter of the wicked witch."

"You know as well as I do that Blair has abandonment issues," Lori replied, "Perhaps her dream is her subconscious is telling her that she doesn't see your relationship on firm footing."

"That's what I'm afraid of," Chuck nodded, "I'm afraid that she's pushing herself because she's afraid that I'm going to get bored and leave."

"And you think her moving back into her home with you is pushing herself," Lori concluded.

"It's not just her moving home," he shook his head, "I took her to the Hampton yesterday. Things escalated."

"Escalated how?" Lori frowned her confusion.

"We . . . caressed each other," Chuck tried to put their encounter from the previous day as tactfully as he could.

"Caressed each other," Lori repeated, her confusion still evident. There was a pause and then the light bulb moment. "Oh . . . okay, and how did that go?"

"Intimacy between the two of us has always been easy," he replied, "It's the before and after that can get complicated. In the moment, she was fine . . . perhaps better than fine actually. She was happy, but then the nightmare happened. I can't help but think that the two are related."

"I actually think this nightmare is progress," Lori announced as she made a few jottings in her notes, "Obviously this reoccurring nightmare hasn't hinder your relationship. It tells me that she's now focusing on things other than her attack. That's a huge step for Blair. After her nightmare, was she able to fall back to sleep?"

"It took a few minutes to calm her down, but yes, she fell back to sleep," he nodded, "And she slept through the rest of the evening. This morning she dressed for school as if nothing had happened."

"Again, this is a good sign," Lori replied.

"You don't know Blair like I do," he shook his head, "She wants to bury this. She just wants to put it out of her mind as if it never happened, and if there is one thing that I've learned in our relationship is that old issues can come back to haunt us."

"I understand what you're saying, but you've been here. You've been to every session that we've had. You've seen the progress she's made in the short amount of time I've been working with her," Lori reminded him, "She's so much better than she was at our first session."

"But how much of that is real?" he thought out loud, "Blair and I have this plan. She's going to finish school. She's going to get herself situated in her career, and then I'm going to propose so we can get married. I'm afraid she's pushing this aside because it doesn't fit into our life plan."

"Perhaps that is something you need to speak with her about," Lori suggested, "How much do the two of you talk about what happened?"

"Hardly ever," he replied, "Just here in therapy."

"Therapy is a place to air out issues, but it doesn't have to be the only place," she told him, "I think there are things that happened that evening that she hasn't told us about because she doesn't feel comfortable with me."

"But she does with me," he finished for her. The conversation wrapped up shortly there after with Chuck needing to be reassured one more time that Blair wouldn't know he'd been there.

* * *

"Hello, Handsome," Blair smiled as Chuck came into their bedroom to see her with her head buried in one of her text book as she turned herself back into the bookworm after only one day, "You're home late. I expected you to be home before me."

"I'm sorry," he replied as he crawled onto the bed next to her and leaned in for a kiss, "I went to the office and became entwined in a business issue that I couldn't get away from."

"It's okay," she assured him as she patted his chest before she returned to her studying, "I held dinner for you. Are you hungry?"

"Yes," he nodded as he brushed her hair to the side and began nibbling softly at the nape of her neck.

"For food?" she giggled slightly as his lips tickled against her skin.

"No," he whispered into her ear before he blew lightly. Blair felt her eyes roll back in pleasure. "How much of your studying is necessary for tomorrow?"

"None," she replied as she fell back against the soft pillows as he was now hovering above her though he was mindful to not smother her, "Are you looking for another shower like yesterday? I don't know about you, but it's really all I thought about today."

"Blair Waldorf daydreaming during class, that doesn't sound like the woman I love," he smirked.

"It was micro-economics," she explained "I'm taking it to fulfill my business requirements. It's basically a repeat of everything you already taught me this summer, as is the book that it's being taught from. I'm so far ahead in that class I might not need to study all semester which leaves more time for one of my favorite activities."

"Shopping?" he inquired as his hand gently caressed her stomach.

"You," she replied.

"What time are your classes finished on Friday?" he asked, "I was thinking that we could get away for the weekend."

"I like that idea," she smiled, "And Friday is my early day, so I'm done by noon. Where are you thinking about taking me?"

"Someplace where it's just you and me," he replied.

"I like that idea even more," her smiled widened. "Will there be sunshine?"

"There might be," he nodded, "Would you like sunshine?"

"If you'll put sunscreen on me again, I would," she snickered.

"I'll be in the limo waiting for you after class, and we can leave directly from campus," he chuckled.

"Are you going to tell me where we're going so I know what to pack?" she inquired.

"No," he shook his head, "I'll pack for you."

"That sounds a little risky," she mused, "What are the chances that you won't pack anything?"

"Slim to none," he assured her, "I'm not planning this trip in an effort to energize our sex life. I just want the two of us to get away for a weekend. Our short jaunt to the Hamptons reminded we that we haven't done that nearly enough since even before I left for Japan."

"We were in that rut, weren't we," she sighed.

"Never again," he vowed.

"Let's have dinner," she suggested, "There is something that I wanted to talk to you about."

"That doesn't sound good," he gulped nervously as he helped her off the bed.

"It's something good," she assured him, "At least I hope you think it's good."

"Sounds intriguing," he eyed her curiously as they made their way to the dining room where their chef was putting the final touches on their meal.

"Thank you," Blair thanked their chef as he disappeared.

"Are you going to keep me in suspense or fill me in?" he inquired as he held her chair for him.

"I think you should go back to work full time at Bass," she told him. "With me back in school, it doesn't make sense for you to stay home."

"Not yet," he shook his head, "I'll work too many hours. I might not be available when you need me."

"We both know that isn't true," she told him as she reached for his hand, "And I'm sure Eugenia misses having you in the office. This just makes sense."

"I don't know," he spoke slowly.

"Chuck, it's time. It's time for both of us to get on with our lives. We've been standing still for too long. What happened this summer was awful, but it's time for us to return to our lives," she replied as she caressed his hand softly, "I love you so much for putting your life on hold to help me. Nobody else did that for me."

"You are my life," he told her as he bent forward and kissed her hand softly, "Everything else is immaterial."

"I love you," she smiled as she wiped a tear from her eyes.

"I love you," he replied as he wiped another of her tears away.

"It meant so much to me knowing that you were there whenever I needed you, and I know that even now if I need you, you'll only be a phone call away. Please, Chuck, go back. Your work is important. You can't tell me that you being gone so much hasn't hurt the company."

"Bass is fine," Chuck assured her.

"Do it for me," she urged him.

"That's not fair," he groaned, "You know I'd do anything you ask."

"I know," she smiled knowingly.

He growled in anger as he nodded his consent.

"Thank you," she smiled as she rose from her chair and went to sit in his lap. Her arms went around his neck as she kissed him deeply.

"Ummm," he hummed happily as his arms slid around her waist to keep her close as he pulled away slightly to speak. "Dinner is getting cold."

"I don't care," she mumbled against his lips.

"Let's have dinner," he offered up a compromise. "We can have dessert after."

"I don't want dessert," she pouted, "I want you."

"Perhaps I can offer myself up as dessert," he suggested as his hand trailed along her thigh gently.

"Promise?" she replied.

"Promise," he nodded as he urged her back to her chair after one more kiss.

* * *

"Is Chuck not joining us today?" Lori inquired as Blair came in for her usual session.

"I finally talked him into going back to Bass on a more regular basis since I've gone back to school. I didn't think it was fair to pull him out so soon after I insisted on him returning," she replied, "I moved home this past weekend before school started."

"That's wonderful," Lori smiled, "How has that been going?"

"Really well," Blair sighed happily, "It's comfortable. I feel safe again especially when I'm in Chuck's arms." Blair sat quietly for a few moments before she spoke again, "I have something to ask you that I'd rather Chuck not hear."

"Oh?" Lori inquired.

"I think I'm ready to move back into a physical relationship with Chuck," Blair blushed as she made her confession, "But I'm also a little scared."

"What scares you about it?" Lori inquired.

"I'm afraid we're going to get into that moment, and I'm going to freak out. I don't want to do that with Chuck. He's been so amazing about everything. Even at night as I'm drifting off to sleep, I know he'd rather have our usual lullaby to put him to sleep, but he lets me believe that it's merely enough for him to be near me," she explained.

"And you don't believe it's enough for him," Lori inquired.

"It's not for me, so there is no way it could be for him," she replied.

"Why do you think you'll panic?" Lori inquired.

"Chuck and I went to the Hamptons on Sunday to celebrate our last day of summer. Things got a little heated on the beach, and he ended up on top of me. I knew it was him, but in that fraction of a moment I couldn't breathe. It was like I could feel that creep's hands on me all over again," she admitted. "I love Chuck, and I want to move to that next step."

"For him or yourself?" Lori inquired.

"Both of us," she replied, "Maybe a bit more for him than myself."

"Are you afraid he'll get bored with waiting and move on?" Lori rephrased the question Chuck had raised in their conversation earlier that week.

"No," she shook her head quickly, "No, I know Chuck loves me, and he'll wait as long as I want him to wait. It's just that I've been thinking a lot about how unfair that is to him. This physically happened to me, but emotionally it happened to both of us. I just want to go back to our life as it was before everything happened . . . before I was attacked, before he left for Japan, before he got it into his head that we were in some sort of rut."

"Have you talked to him about this?" Lori inquired.

"No," she shook her head, "I'm afraid I'm going to start yelling at him and toss the blame onto him for what happened to me."

"I've asked this question before, but I wonder if maybe your answer will be different this time. Do you blame Chuck for what happened?" Lori prodded.

"It would be easy for me to say yes," Blair nodded, "But how could it be his fault. Yes, he wasn't here, but I don't know that things would have turned out any differently if he had been. I can't say with any certainty that I would have told him what was happening. I wanted to make a good impression with my internship this summer after the horrible finished to the previous one. Chuck would have insisted on handling things. I wanted to prove to Michael that I can handle myself in the business world, and that I'm not some emotional teenager that is reduced to tears when faced the slightest little challenge."

"Do you know what happened to your attacker?" Lori inquired.

"I find it best when I don't think too much about him," Blair explained. "It may be part of the healing process, but I'd be okay with never thinking about him again."

"You have to be realistic about this, Blair," Lori replied, "This is something that you will think about for the rest of your life. The goal is never going to be to expunge this event from your memory. The goal is to make it a small detail that doesn't stop your heart when you think about it."

"It's getting better," Blair nodded, "I can think about it now and not feel that overwhelming panic that I used to feel at every minute of the day."

"You've made remarkable progress in a relatively short amount of time," Lori assured her. "Your determination and support system have been the building blocks. You should be proud of yourself, but I also need to caution you on moving too quickly. You may have certain urges. You may feel ready to that next step, but I don't think that would be wise."

"So you think I'm not ready for sex," Blair frowned her disappointment.

"I think your recovery has to take precedence over your desire for Chuck," Lori advised her.

"I touched Chuck," Blair replied, "And he touched me. It felt wonderful. I didn't flash back once in that moment. I think I'm okay to move to that next step."

"How does it feel when he's laying on top of you and in a position similar to that of your attacker?" Lori inquired. "Until you feel comfortable in that position, I don't think it would be wise for you to engage in sex. If you want to feel close to Chuck in a less stressful situation perhaps you could work up to feeling comfortable with him on top of you, and if touching each other feels good you should keep doing so. I have one word of caution though. Don't be surprised if you do have moments in which being touched doesn't feel as good."

Blair fought the urge to pout. This wasn't the response she wanted from her therapist.

"How has your first week of school been going?"

"It's going well," Blair replied, "Getting back into the school routine has been good for me."

"And have you had any panic attacks?" Lori propped.

"I've had a few moments where my breath has caught, but it hasn't been bad enough that I've had to call Chuck," Blair replied, "We're going away together this weekend to celebrate, actually it's just to get away, but I'm planning on making it a celebration."

"A celebration of what?" Lori inquired.

"Of moving on," Blair explained, "I'm not pronouncing myself cured, but I feel like I've turned the page. That should be celebrated, shouldn't it?"

"Yes," Lori nodded

* * *

"Lori agrees with you," Blair sat herself down in a huff in Chuck's office after her therapy session. He could tell by how she'd stormed into his office that she wasn't in a good mood, but he hadn't a clue as to what could have happened.

"Agrees with me about what?" he inquired as he came around his desk to perch himself casually against it as he stood before her.

"That I'm not ready for sex," she frowned. "I went to see her today in the hopes that she'd side with me, but I was sorely mistaken."

"We're all on your side, Beautiful," Chuck replied as he extended his hand to her in hopes that she would take it. He didn't dare touch her in her current state of mind as she too fiery. She reached for him immediately. "I understand how frustrating this has been for you. Believe me, it's as frustrating for me. I want to make love to you in the worst way, but not at the expense of your recovery. We will get there."

"Lori suggested an alternative," Blair sighed as she rose from her chair and put her arms around his neck as she stepped in between his legs.

"And alternative to sex?" he inquired, "Perhaps someone should have made that suggestion to me years ago."

"Be serious," she scolded him.

"I'm sorry," he quickly apologized, "What is Lori's suggestion?"

"I told her about our shower, not the details, but that we had that moment and that it felt good. She said the caressing could continue," Blair replied.

"As long as you're comfortable," Chuck added.

"As long as I'm comfortable," she agreed. "So this weekend, we should take advantage of this new found freedom that I feel."

"Okay," he agreed.

"And we should work towards me feeling more comfortable with you in the dominant position," she suggested.

"How do we do that?" he inquired, "I'm not willing to freak you out again by climbing on top of you."

"With everything, we should take it slow. Gradually add more and more of your weight until we're back to where we once were with you grinding against me without thought," she smirked.

"Grinding, huh," he chuckled at her description.

"Don't you remember when all those hours we used to spend making out in the beginning," she smiled knowingly as she played with the lapel of his suit jacket. "You were always grinding, and it felt wonderful. It always made me want you that much more."

"If I recall you resisted my advances at first," he replied. "After your birthday, your legs were crossed tighter than they were before you lost your virginity. It took more work prying them apart than it did that night in the limo."

"I just didn't want to seem so eager," she smiled playfully, "You would have lost interest."

"That's never going to happen," he assured her as he nuzzled her neck softly. "You were and are the greatest addiction of my life."

"Leave it to you to make that sounds so sexy."

**TBC . . .**


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. They belong to Cecily von Zeigesar and The CW.**

"Blair, there's sun shining outside," Chuck tried to pry her away from their bed as he pointed towards the mammoth window that was letting the spectacular tropical rays into the bedroom of their private island villa. Since they'd arrived the previous evening, she hadn't wanted to leave the comforts of their bedroom. She'd nearly jumped him as soon their caretaker had left them to settle in. Breakfast was the furthest thing from her mind even though he could feel her stomach being to rumble with hunger.

"I don't care," she shook her head as she continued pecking at his bare chest, "This is exactly where I want to be today."

"What about that sun kissed glow you were intending to work on?"

"I'd much rather have that post-coital glow, or as close to it as I can get," she replied as her lip trailed lower down his chest.

"So very tempting," he responded, "But last night was all about my needs. You have them too. I should do the gentlemanly thing to satisfy them."

"Let me have my fun," she pouted as she continued to roam along his abdomen, "I'm enjoying my very own amusement park, Chuckland."

"Is that all I am to you, a few carnival rides and cheap thrills?" he frowned, as he did his best to sound hurt.

"Oh no," she shook her head quickly, "Chuckland is the most upscale, expensive amusement park in all of the world, with only the most exquisite of rides and tempting treats."

"Are you the ride or the treat?" he snickered as his hand trailed down her spine. She shivered slightly at his touch. "I think it's time to move on to Blairland." Without warming he moved out from underneath her. She was completely caught off guard and fell onto her stomach on the soft bed. His lips blazed a slow trail up her back as he licked his way up her spine, taking detours along the way.

An unladylike moan escaped her lips as he licked the entire length of her spine in one full swoop. "Oh, Chuck," she gasped.

"Too much," he asked quickly as he halted his advances.

"Not enough," she shook her head quickly, rolling onto her back when he threatened to pull away. "Don't stop."

"If you need me to stop, tell me," he looked her deep in the eyes.

"I will," she assured him as she caressed his cheek softly as she marveled at how much further she fell in love with him each day. He had been the perfect boyfriend through this entire ordeal. Everything that she needed, he gave, mostly without her having to verbalize her thoughts.

"You still with me?" he spoke softly as he caressed her stomach softly with two of her fingers, "You seemed to drift off on me for a moment."

"I'm just thinking about how lucky I am," she smiled as she ran her fingers through the hair at his temple, "To be dating the most amazing man in the world."

"You give me far too much credit," he sighed.

"I don't give you enough credit," she corrected him as she placed a finger under his chin and drew his lips to hers. "The patience you have shown these past several months is nothing short of heroic. If they gave out medals for everything you've done for me, it would be the highest honor bestowed upon an individual."

"That would be the Presidential Medal of Freedom," he told her.

"I'm going to write our president a letter to recommend you for it then," she replied, "Because you deserve it."

"The only honor I need is the one that has you at my side," he responded.

"So amazing," she marveled as she kissed him again. "I love you."

"I love you too."

* * *

"It's so quiet here," Blair replied as they finally made their way towards the beach to soak in the sun after spending all morning and into the afternoon in bed. "The Hamptons is quiet, but not this quiet. It's like we're the only two people in the world."

"You aren't very far off on this island," he replied, "We're two of five, at most."

"You're spoiling me," she smiled as she set aside her textbook to concentrate on him for a few moments.

"Haven't I always," he smiled back as he reached for her hand and brought it to his lips. Blair took that as her cue to climb into his chair with him. "We're supposed to be getting some sun."

"And I am," she replied as she straddled his waist with her legs as her arms came around his shoulders, "My backside is fully exposed to the sun."

"But I'm in nothing but shadows," he told her as he brushed the hair away from her face, "People will think you've gone on a weekend vacation without me."

"You're legs are still exposed," she replied as she began nibbling on his collarbone, "They'll get a little color."

"Which no one will see as I wear pants to the office everyday," he replied.

"You should have a casual day so you can show off those delicious gams of yours," she suggested.

"Delicious gams," he hollowed with laughter, "Are you telling me I have the legs of a woman?"

"Yes," she giggled. "So nice and shapely. I love watching you strut around our penthouse bare legged."

"When I'm bare legged, I'm usually naked," he pointed out.

"I like that too," her lips curled into a crooked grin.

"Right now, you like anything sexual that I do," he chuckled. "That shower in the Hamptons opened up the floodgates."

"Is that a complaint I'm hearing?" she lifted an eyebrow as she climbed off him and rose to her feet dramatically, "Because we can go back to the hands free way things were for three months if you'd like."

Chuck lunged for her arm and pulled her back onto him. She landed in a heap on top of him, knocking the wind out of him.

"Chuck, are you okay?" she asked in concern as his eyes went wide in pain.

"I'm fine," he gritted out.

"I didn't break a rib, did I?" she inquired as she rubbed his chest affectionately.

"You didn't land that hard," he assured her as she maneuvered in the chair so that her weight was off him.

"I'm sorry," she responded as she began pecking at his chest in hopes of making amends for her awkward landing. "What can I do to make it up to you?"

"One kiss right here," he told her as he tapped at his lips.

"Is that it?" she inquired as she pecked at his lips. "What happened to the devious mind that was so quick to think up a punishment that involved torture and groveling?"

"What can I say?" he shrugged as he ran his finger along her torso, "I'm going soft on you."

"I beg to differ," she smirked as she tapped his lap, the beginnings of an erection evident.

Chuck growled as her actions began to excite him more.

"Sit back, relax, and I'll make you all better," she grinned widely as she began a trail down his chest to the hem of his swim trucks.

"Blair, that's really not necessary," he told her as she hooked her fingers into them and began inching them down his hips, "I'll calm down."

"Why would I want that?" she replied as she continued on with her task as she urged him to lift up his hips to aid in her task. "You're much more fun to play with in your excited state."

Before he could dissuade her, her lips closed around him, taking him in as far as she could. His fingers tangled in her hair as all the fight left him. All he could think about now was how wonderful her mouth felt wrapped around him, expertly working him into a frenzy. He relaxed against the chair as he watched her head bob up and down, her brunette curls acting as a curtain around her face as they tickled at his thighs.

Sooner than he was ready, he felt the familiar fire welling in the pit of his stomach. He was so close, but he wasn't sure if she was comfortable with the accepting his offering as she hadn't been up to this point. "Blair, I'm close."

Her response was to apply more pressure as her tongue swirled over the tip of his head. He couldn't prolong the inevitable any longer as he exploded into her mouth. She continued to milk him for all she could, swallowing eagerly.

As she released him from her mouth, she began kissing a trail back up his chest. Her cheeks were tinted pink. His tangled fingers in her hair proved useful as he urged her mouth to his. He could taste himself as his tongue dueled with hers.

"Chuck, I need you," Blair moaned against his mouth.

Chuck felt as if a bucket of ice water was thrown over his overheated body. He froze against her.

"Please, Chuck, take me," Blair pleaded with him, "Make love to me."

"We're not ready," he told her gently as he caressed her cheek softly, "You're not ready."

"Yes, I am," she whined as she nodded her head vigorously, "I'm so ready. I feel as though I might burst."

"Your hormones are taking control," he insisted as his fingers trailed along her exposed collarbone, "Take a moment to think this through. I promise we'll get there, but only when you're completely comfortable. Until then, we'll keep taking this slow, and in those moments that we cannot stand to take it slow, we'll touch and taste each other as we have for the past few weeks."

"And when that's not enough," she pouted, "Please, Chuck, I need you."

"And I need you," he assured her, "You have no idea how much I want to ignore this feeling in my gut and just pound into you with everything that I have, but I know what will happen if I do. You'll flash back to that night and curl into a ball."

"That's not going to happen," she shook her head, "I'm better. I'm passed all of that."

"I know you want to be," he replied, "But as much as we both want that, you're not."

"Yes, I am," she stated tearfully even though they both knew she wasn't.

"I love you, Blair," Chuck told her.

"I love you too," she added as more tears spilled down her cheeks. "I want to be better for you."

Chuck cradled her in his arms as he whispered comforting words to her. "You'll get there, we'll get you there. We will not give up."

"How much longer can you wait?" she asked.

"As long as I have to," he responded without hesitation, "I will wait forever. Sex with anyone else is no longer an option for me. I love you so much."

"I love you too," she nodded.

"Don't push yourself for me," he told her, "I'm not going anywhere. Those plans that we've made of our life together will happen, but if we need to put a hold on all of that, we will. The most important thing right now is to get you better."

"I don't want to put those plans on hold," she shook her head, "I feel as if I'm put my entire life on hold for too long as it is. I want to move forward. I want us to move forward."

"Okay," he nodded in agreement, "But not at the expense of your emotional well being. We'll continue on with all of our plans. You'll finish college, you'll make a name for yourself in the fashion world, I'll propose, and then we'll get married. We'll do all of that, I promise."

"Which is the most important part. I want to be your wife," she replied, "I want to have that ultimate commitment. I want to know that you and I will be together forever."

"You already know that," he told her as he ran his hand through her hair, smoothing it down in a soothing manner, "Neither of us is giving up on this. We've been put to the ultimate test these past few months, and we're still together. I fully believe this is the hardest test we could ever be put through, and we're going to make it through."

"Let's hope so," she replied as her head came to rest against his chest.

"Blair, is there something about your attack that you haven't told me?" he inquired as he ran a single finger along her back slowly.

"Why are you asking?" she asked as she tensed slightly.

"I went to see Lori on Monday after I dropped you off at school," he confessed.

"You went to see my therapist without me," she growled, "Did you guys talk about how crazy I am?"

"No, he shook his head quickly, "I needed some sort of reassurance that you moving home was going to last. I'm a pessimist, Blair, remember. Nothing wonderful in my life has ever lasted. Being with you these past couple of years has been the most wonderful years of my life, but . . ."

". . . how long can it last," she filled in the hesitation, "So all of that nonsense about me making you those promises, I have to make them, you don't."

"That's not what I'm saying," he responded, "I've made you those promises."

"But you don't trust me enough to keep up my side of the deal," she guessed.

"Stop putting words in my mouth," he growled. He paused for a moment to take a deep breath. "I know you intend to hold up your end of things, as I do, but things happen, life happens. How do I know that you won't find someone else down the road that gives you the same feelings that I do without all the complications?"

"That would require actually looking for it," she replied, "I'm not, nor do I ever want to. Are you ever going to trust me? Really trust me?"

"I want to," he replied, "I want to so much, but . . ."

"This has Bart written all over it," Blair growled, "He's your father and I will always be grateful for the part that he played in giving you life, but I will hate him for how he's messed you up. For you and me to work, really work and have that future that we both, you have to start trusting me, unconditionally."

"And you have to trust me," he replied, "What aren't you telling me about that night? Did the guards really get there in time?"

"Barely," she nodded as tears sprung to her eyes.

"Then what is it?" Chuck encouraged her.

"It was embarrassing . . . being found," she admitted softly as she turned to look away. "I was nearly naked. My clothes were torn to shreds. One of the guards gave me the shirt of his back, but I'd never felt so exposed as I was in that moment. I wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out."

"I'm sorry, Beautiful," he told her as he put his arms around her to prove the comfort she needed.

"All I wanted at that moment was for you to put your arms around me and tell me everything was going to be okay," she replied as she buried her head into his chest, "But you were so far away."

"I'm here now," he told her as he kissed her forehead, "And everything is going to be okay."

"I feel safe now," she stated as she burrowed her head even further into his chest, "As safe as I've ever felt. I didn't think I'd ever get back to that."

"I didn't think we'd get back to that either," he admitted as he brushed the hair off her shoulder, "But here we are."

She nodded as she kissed his chest softly before settling herself against him again. She could hear his heart beating. She could feel his familiar heat. She could smell his natural musty scent. He was her anchor once again. Little by little, they were getting back to what they were.

**TBC . . .**


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. They belong to Cecily von Zeigesar and The CW.**

"It's been almost a month since we've had our last session, how have you been doing Blair?" Lori inquired as Blair and Chuck settled in for Blair's most recent appointment.

After Blair's last session, it had been decided that they wouldn't meet for a few weeks to see how things went without the weekly therapy session. Blair had been a little reluctant to agree, but she'd come to realize that talking in therapy didn't have to be her only outlet. Chuck was a wonderful listener and support structure. He was always there in whichever capacity she needed him, an ear to listen, arms to hold, or lips to caress, especially lips to caress. Even today her lips felt bruised from the night before. She'd been in one of her moods after she'd finished studying, and he was ever the willing accomplice in her effort to return to normalcy.

"Better," Blair smiled as she squeezed Chuck's hand. "Much better. The nightmares are coming less and less. Chuck and I are able to be closer than we have in the longest time. He can put nearly all his weight on me now when we make out, and I don't freak out. I think I'm all better."

Lori laughed in replied, "You are much better, Blair."

"But," Blair prompted her with a pout.

"But you'll never be all better in the sense that this will never be a thought that doesn't cross your mind. You'll have panic attacks. There may be days in which Chuck's touch makes your skin crawl, but those days will be few and farther between each other," Lori explained.

"And we still have those moments," Chuck agreed as he recalled a panic attack she'd had a few days earlier, "But they don't stop our days."

"We deal with the situation and move on," Blair added.

"Have you two talked about Blair's attacker?" Lori inquired.

"No," Blair shook her head as she squeezed Chuck's hand as a sudden sense of panic set in. Her attacker was the last thing she wanted to think about that day. She'd been doing so well at putting him out of her mind.

"But Chuck, you know his fate," Lori assumed.

"I do," he replied simply as he folded Blair's hand in between the two of his to reassure her that he was right beside her, always.

"Why haven't you told me?" Blair inquired. Her surprise was forced and unconvincing. She'd always known that Chuck would know what had come of her attacker. She hadn't truly wanted the details, and she knew he wouldn't tell her unless she asked. She hadn't.

"It's never been the right time to discuss it," he offered up an excuse for her to take.

"Perhaps today is the day to discuss it," Lori suggested.

"I assume he's in jail," Blair shrugged as she began playing with Chuck's fingers so she wouldn't have to make eye contact with either Lori or Chuck, "Chuck has enough influence to ensure he stays there for a long time."

"Do you know anything about his previous history of violence towards women?" Lori pressed.

"I didn't know he had a history," Blair spoke softly as she shook her head. She glanced towards Chuck for a moment to see what his expression would be. She wanted to know if he knew what Lori did. His expression told her he did.

"Perhaps Chuck should be the one to answer any questions you may have," Lori offered, "I have a feeling he knows far more about the man's past than I do."

"Do you?" Blair asked as she studied Chuck more closely.

"Yes," he nodded.

"What do you know?" Blair asked.

"You weren't the first person at Michael's studio that he'd attacked, but none had come forward for fear that it would hurt them professionally. It was my PI that sniffed them out and turned them over to the D.A.," Chuck began.

"How many women did he do this too?" Blair asked.

"We're finding more women each week," Chuck admitted, "When news of his arrest was made, women began to come forward anonymously. Most of the statutes of limitations are up on the simply assault cases, but it's set a pattern. The sexual assault cases have longer statutes. Several of those are still within the limits."

"This happened to others and it wasn't reported," she whispered softly as tears sprung to her eyes, "Are you saying that what happened to me could have been prevented?"

"It might have been," Chuck nodded.

"Why didn't they report it?" Blair demanded, "This didn't have to happen. My life didn't have to be put on hold. You and I didn't have to waste all this time. It's been six months since you and I have made love, and now you're telling me this didn't have to happen."

"Blair, it is a very difficult thing to do, confront an attacker," Lori chimed in, "I've worked with dozens of women who have gone through what you have and so much more. Less than half of them have been able to report what happened to the authorities even when they knew their attacker. Of those that reported the incidents, very few have been able to get a conviction because they were too scared to appear in court to testify at their assailant's trial. These attackers get off on more than just physical violence, but also the fear they leave behind in their victims. They count on not being caught, so they can move on to their next victim."

"Which was me. I was the next victim," Blair replied as tears trickled down her cheeks.

"Hey, look at me," Chuck spoke softly as he placed his fingers under her chin to turn her head gently towards him, "You're Blair Waldorf, you have never been nor ever will be anyone's victim. To be a victim implies you are weak, and you are anything but."

"I feel weak," she told him, "Every time I think about him and what he tried to do, I feel weaker. He was so strong. I couldn't do anything to stop him."

"But you did stop him," Chuck assured her, "You kept fighting; you kept screaming. You put security on alert. They came before he could do anything worse. It's because of you that he's in jail right now. These women are coming forward because you made it okay for them to do so. If you needed to, you would have come to his trial and confronted him. You would have ensured that he was brought to justice."

"But I didn't," Blair replied, "I didn't even know he went to trial."

"The District Attorney didn't need your testimony," Chuck replied, "The case was so airtight that his lawyer had no choice but to have him plead guilty in hopes of getting a lighter sentence."

"Which you ensured wouldn't happen," Blair assumed.

"Had I needed to, I would have," he nodded, "But honestly aside from what I had my private investigator do, I haven't needed to step in. He's serving a life sentence without the possibility of parole for all his crimes, yours included."

"So that's it, the story is closed, just like that," Blair sniffled.

"That's it," Chuck nodded, "He'll never breath free air. He'll never be able to hurt you or anyone else."

"That's an abrupt ending to five months of misery," Blair replied, "It feels a little unsettled."

"Unsettled," Chuck repeated, "How would you like it to be settled?"

"I want to see him," Blair replied, "I want to confront him. I want to show him that he doesn't intimidate me."

"Are you sure you're ready for that?" Chuck inquired as he ran his hands along her outer thigh gently with his knuckles. The concern in his eyes was evident.

"I think I need to do this," she replied as she caressed his face softly, "But I need you to come with me."

"I'll be right at your side," he assured her, "If you're absolutely certain that you're ready."

"With you at my side, I can face anything," she smiled.

Needing reassurance, Chuck turned towards Blair's therapist. "Do you think she's ready for this?"

"This is an important step in Blair's recovery. Not all women can get this type of closure, but Blair can. Blair, this decision is yours, but I'd like you to take a little time to think it through. This isn't something that should be decided on the spur of the moment. I'd like you to plan out what you'd like to say to him and how you'll respond to any comments that he makes. You have to remember that while you have things to say to him, he'll likely have things to say to you," Lori advised her. "You have time. Your assailant isn't going anywhere. Perhaps this is a topic that we can discuss after the holidays."

"I suppose you're right," Blair nodded.

"The holidays are rapidly approaching," Lori announced, "Are the two of you making plans?"

"Our plans have been made for a year," Blair smiled, clearly grateful for the change to a much happier subject, "We're going to spend the holidays with my family in France after the Bass Gala, of course."

"I detect a bit of nervousness in that statement," Lori noted.

"I am," Blair nodded as she exhaled a nervous breath, "I haven't been to a society event since before all of this happened. With all those eyes on me, I'm afraid I'll trip and fall in the gorgeous dress that I have to wear and fall flat on my face."

"I won't let that happen," Chuck told her as he squeezed her hand. "I will never let you fall. If you trip, I will catch you."

"That's really sappy, Bass," she tried to lighten the mood.

"I'm serious, Waldorf," he replied as he looked her deep in the eyes.

"I know," she nodded with a small smile, "It's one of the things I'm counting on, the thing that I've always counted on."

* * *

After Blair's therapy session, Chuck returned to his office at Blair's urging, but he couldn't help the nagging feeling that settled in the pit of his stomach. Something about her session kept gnawing at him.

"Eugenia, have Arthur bring the car around and cancel the rest of my afternoon," he told his assistant after he called her into his office.

"You have that conference call with Shanghai," Eugenia reminded him of the important call that he was ending his day with.

"Cancel it," Chuck replied, "I have something I need to do."

"Where should I tell Arthur you are headed?" Eugenia inquired.

"The airport," Chuck replied, "And have the jet ready for take off."

"What is your ultimate destination?" Eugenia pressed, "A romantic trip for you and Blair, perhaps."

"Attica," Chuck replied. His revelation stopped Eugenia cold.

"Attica in Greece, I hope, not the Attica in Upstate New York where they have the correctional facility where Blair's attacker is housed."

"Attica, New York," Chuck confirmed.

"Are you doing what I think you're doing?" Eugenia gasped.

"I might be," Chuck nodded, "Call Arthur."

"Okay," Eugenia nodded, "But promise me you won't do anything stupid."

"What can I do?" Chuck replied, "There is a thick pane of glass between me and that varmint."

"With a lot of witnesses," Eugenia felt the need to remind him.

"I will not do anything stupid," Chuck gave her a reassuring smile, "I have far too much to live for to waist it on that piece of garbage."

"Promise me," Eugenia demanded.

"I promise," Chuck nodded.

The flight was uneventful and mercifully short. This wasn't his first time in a prison. He'd gone with his best friend to visit his father a few times, and he'd spent a few overnights in the slammer in his wild and crazy days, but this visit was the first time being in a prison gave him the creeps. He couldn't get over how dark and depressing the facility was.

At the visitor's desk he was instructed to hand over all his communication devices and was given a visitor's badge before being told to wait in the lobby while the prisoner was located and brought into the visitor's room. Just as he was taking a seat he noticed a set of familiar brunette curls trying desperately trying to hide behind an antiquated magazine.

"Blair," Chuck growled as he crossed the room to stand before her, lowering the magazine with his finger to reveal his girlfriend looking extremely guilty. "What are you doing here?"

"My guess, the same thing as you," she bit her lip.

Chuck growled as he pulled her to her feet and led her away from the visitor waiting room to a more private place.

"What the hell are you doing here!" Chuck exploded once they were alone, "You were going home to study after our session."

"I could ask you the same thing!" Blair countered, "You were supposed to be working late this evening because you had a conference call with Shanghai."

"Don't make this about me," he replied, "I'm not the one in therapy because of the man you came here to confront."

"But you should be," was her quick retort, "I want closure. I want to move on. Doing this will facilitate that."

"Damn it, Blair," he cursed, "Why do you have to be so damn stubborn?"

"Why do you?" Blair replied.

"This isn't getting us anywhere," he took a deep breath to quell his anger.

"I came here because I want to move on," Blair replied.

"I would have come with you," Chuck insisted, "This isn't something you should do alone."

"You are here," she smiled as she took his hand and batted her long lashes, "So I'm not alone."

"How did you get here anyways?"

"Instead of driving me home, I had Arthur fly me to the charter airport. I hired someone to fly me here and back," she replied, "I was supposed to be home before you were none the wiser."

"Arthur is going to receive a very stern lecture when we get back to New York," Chuck groaned. "How dare he not tell me."

"You will do no such thing," Blair insisted, "I made him promise not to say a word."

"I pay him to be loyal to me, not you," Chuck glared at her.

"And I convinced him that being loyal to me was being loyal to you," Blair replied.

"From now on, don't use my employees against me, understand," he gently scolded her. She nodded in agreement. "Are you sure you're ready for this? Earlier today Lori said that this visit should not be made on a whim."

"I've been giving this a lot of thought, all the way here in fact," she replied, "I know what I want to say."

"And how will you handle what he says to you?" Chuck pressed.

"I will turn a deaf ear," Blair assured him, "I don't need to hear anything that he has to say to me."

"I hope that works," he replied as he kissed her forehead tenderly.

"I'm so glad you're here," she replied as she wrapped her arms around his neck and held him close as her head came to rest against the crook of his neck. "I don't know how you do it, but you are always there when I need you even when I don't know it."

"I don't know how I do it either," Chuck admitted as he rubbed circles into her back with his palms to provide comfort, "I just had an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach and knew I needed to come here to confront this foul piece of garbage."

"Will you come with me?" she requested.

"Of course," he replied.

"Thank you," she whispered softly.

After returning to the waiting room, Blair and Chuck waited only a few moments. Chuck was originally told he'd have to wait his turn, but a quick hundred dollar handshake paved their way to confront Blair's attacker together.

"You," Samy replied as he took a seat.

"Me," Blair nodded as she caught the icy glare he was giving her. Blair felt her body wanting to recoil and run from the room, but Chuck's hand on her thigh kept her in place.

"I'm genuinely surprised," Samy replied, "I never thought you'd find the guts to come here and apologize for putting an innocent man behind bars."

"Innocent," Blair hissed, "You have got to be kidding! You attacked me. You tore off my clothes and touched me in places that you had no authority to touch."

"You were asking for it, begging for it," Samy baited her, but it was Chuck that he was pissing off more than Blair, "Walking around in those short skirts, teasing leggings, complaining about a pathetic boyfriend that was conveniently out of the country all summer for work. You wanted me to feel sorry for you. You enjoyed those bouquets of flowers that I sent you and the expensive gifts that were attached. Those gifts were not free. You had to know you were expected to return the favor."

"So tossing me against the wall and beating me senseless was just the down payment," Blair snapped, "I didn't deserve anything you did to me. I didn't deserve to be slammed up against the wall or to be groped against my will or beaten nearly unconscious. I didn't lead you on. I couldn't have. You kept yourself in your damn office until the very end of everyday when you came to me with one emergency assignment after another."

"And you were always so willing to stay," Samy lips curled into a sickening smile.

"Because it was my job and I wanted to make a good impression," Blair responded, "You held my creative fate in your hands."

"You wanted me to hold more, and you know it," Samy teased her.

"I thought you were gay!" Blair exclaimed, "I wanted nothing to do with you. I was and am completely, head over heels in love with my boyfriend. Despite your best efforts, we still are very much together and stronger today than before you attacked me."

"Bitch," Samy growled.

"That is the best things you've ever said to me," Blair smiled as she rose from her chair abruptly and left Chuck with her attacker.

"You messed with the wrong woman," Chuck growled, "I have friends in the highest and lowest of places. I promise you that you will never know a moment of peace for the rest of your miserable life. You will forever know the pain and suffering that you caused the love of my life and all of those other women you assaulted. Blair's bruises have healed and the mental scars are lessening everyday. Soon she will be able to put this all behind her and give you very little thought, but I am certain that you will think of her every day."

"Who the hell do you think you are?" Samy hissed as he hit the glass that separated them with his closed fist. The bang alerted the guards behind him, but Chuck motioned them to stand back while he finished the conversation. The strike had to hurt, but Samy showed none of the pain he was feeling.

"I'm Chuck Bass," he smiled, his eyes projected an evil glint that made Samy extremely uncomfortable, "That woman is the love of my life. I will do anything I have to do to protect her and will stop at nothing to seek redemption for those that have hurt her. I am the one guy that you never should have messed with. Enjoy hell because I can promise you that is what the rest of your miserable existence will be."

Chuck nodded towards the guard as the signal to whack Samy across the back with his baton before he barked ordered to have Samy get down on the ground, adding a few more whacks for good measure when he resisted as Chuck left.

* * *

"I thought confronting Samy would finally close the door on all of this," Blair sighed as she snuggled in against Chuck on their flight back to the city.

"But it didn't," Chuck replied as he caressed her shoulder softly.

"It helped," she replied as she toyed with the button of his shirt, "But I don't feel any different. There isn't this freeing feeling where I feel like my life is all the way back to normal."

"I think we need to find a new normal," he told her as he took her hand into his and kissed it softly, "We're not going to be able to go back to what we once were. Something terrible happened, but we're figuring out a way to move past it."

"I want to be better for you," she frowned.

"Be better for you," he told her, "This isn't about me, and it shouldn't be. I'll say it until I'm blue in the face, I will wait forever if I have to. The only thing that matters to me is you and your wellbeing. You're getting better. I see it everyday. Your confidence is returning. That fire that I love about you is coming to life. Less than even a month ago, you wouldn't have dared go confront Samy, let alone behind my back."

"I wouldn't have been able to do it if you hadn't shown up," she replied as she threaded her fingers through his, "Even as I was sitting there waiting, I was trying to build up the courage to stay. I was on the verge of leaving when you walked in. It was when I saw you're face that I knew I could do it."

"And you did do it," he replied, "You walked right in there and confronted him. You stood up to him and let him know the he couldn't get the best of you."

"I did do that, didn't I," she smiled proudly.

"Yes you did," he smiled along with her.

"I want to do something tonight," she replied, "Something to celebrate us."

"Celebrate us," he repeated in mild confusion.

"Celebrate how much I love you," she elaborated as she leaned in and kissed him.

"That is certainly something to celebrate. What would you like to do this evening?" he inquired as she began nibbling on his neck.

"I was thinking we could hire a private yacht and enjoy the New York City skyline while drinking champagne. There is supposed to be a full moon tonight, so we'll have plenty of moonlight," she replied.

"And maybe I'll turn into a werewolf," he chuckled.

"You certainly are hairy enough for it," she smirked as she caressed his chest softly through the silk of his dress shirt.

"You like my hairy chest," he laughed.

"I certainly do," she nodded as he kissed her again. Blair's arms wrapped around his neck as she leaned back onto the sofa, taking him with her. She shifted slightly so that she was able to wrap her legs around his hips, bringing him fully on top of her. Chuck suddenly froze. "What's wrong?"

"I'm waiting for you to realize our position and start freaking out," he replied as he caressed her stocking covered thigh softly.

"No freaking out," she shook her head as she tightened her hold around his neck, "This feels completely natural, comfortable."

"We can stop if it becomes too much," he told her.

"Don't stop," she shook her head quickly, "We're just starting."

Chuck smiled as he slowly brought his lips to hers. Blair wasted no time in devouring him as her hands roamed his body eagerly, enjoying the familiar feeling of him above her without the panic attacks that usually seemed to follow.

"Chuck," she moaned as he trailed down her neck, "I want you so much."

"I want you too," he replied as she arched into him.

"Soon," she replied as he caressed her breast softly through the fabric of her blouse. "It has to be soon."

"When you're ready," he told her.

**TBC . . .**


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. They belong to Cecily von Zeigesar and The CW.**

**I intended to get this out much sooner than I did, but better late than never. Please enjoy.**

"Somebody has an important birthday this week," Chuck nuzzled Blair's neck as they had a quiet Sunday in their penthouse. Blair was pretending to study for an upcoming test, but all she could really focus on were Chuck's lips as they tickled her skin.

Blair purred in response as she finally gave up on the ruse of studying to focus solely on him. She tilted her head towards him and captured his lips. It didn't take any effort to encourage him to deepen the kiss. Before she had another rational though she was laid back against the sofa cushions with her legs wrapped around Chuck's hips as he ground his lower body against hers.

"So, your birthday," he prompted her as his finger trailed a light pattern along her thighs as he broke their kiss to suck in a much needed breath of air, "Is there anything special you'd like to do?"

"I'd like to _do_ you," she smiled.

"What is 'Plan B'?" he inquired as he nipped at her bottom lip lightly, "Your father and Roman are hoping you'll want a family gathering. I'm flying them in."

"A dinner would be lovely," she agreed, "Perhaps a quiet meal with just close family and friends here."

"I was actually thinking about an elaborate dinner party at the Russian Tea Room with a few more guests," Chuck amended.

"I don't want an elaborate dinner party at the Russian Tea Room," she shook her head, "I want a quiet dinner here."

"You and Serena have been planning on the Russian Tea Room for an elegant 'adult' dinner for your twenty-first birthday since you were a bratty little girl with pigtails and white gloves," he reminded her. "You should keep those plans. I have everything arranged."

"I want a quiet dinner here," she held firm, "The Russian Tea Room was the plan when we were ignorant little kids. I want an adult diner."

"B, I realize that we've been playing adult since we were thirteen, but it is okay to hold on to the childhood fantasies if it is something that you truly want," he assured her.

"It has nothing to do with that," she replied. "I just don't feel like being the center of some elaborate party just yet. I'm not ready for that."

"We can make it a more intimate affair," he suggested, "We keep it a family and close friend gathering, but we relocate it to the Russian Tea Room. I just want this day to be special for you. It's a monumental milestone in your life, and it deserves special treatment."

"I want my dinner to be someplace that I feel safe and comfortable, and our penthouse is the safest place in the world to me," she explained as she began fussing with the collar of his shirt as he continued to hover above her. The thought that it could ever be an unnatural feeling was the furthest thing from her mind. She felt so at ease with him at the moment.

"You have no reason to hide away from the world," he told her gently.

"I'm not," she shook her head quickly, "At least I'm trying not to."

"Then explain to me why you want to make light of this birthday when you've made all of your other birthday parties the grand events they became," he replied, "I'm trying to understand this from your perspective, but I'm not having any success."

"Things are just different this year," she sighed, "I'm different. Maybe I've just finally stopped 'playing adult' and have simply become one. It doesn't feel as important to me to have one day in which everyone is focused entirely on me. You know I always felt as if I was in Serena's shadow growing up, but my birthday was always the one day that people seemed to notice me before her. That's not the case anymore. If anything, Serena's in my shadow now."

"Promise me that this low key affair has nothing to do with what happened this past summer," he requested.

"It doesn't," she assured him, "At least not directly. You said it yourself that we've had to find a new normal. Finding a new normal means we've also had to discover who we are again. That Blair Waldorf I used to be has changed, for the better I think, and so has Chuck Bass."

"For the better I hope," his voice quivered nervously.

"You were amazing the way you were. I would never have changed anything about you," she assured him, "But yes you have changed for the better. From the start of our relationship, it has always been about the two of us learning how to love and live together. I have always felt a little separation between the two of us even though I knew I loved you without question or hesitation. That separation is gone. We're no longer two individuals sharing our lives. We're two halves of a perfect whole living our live."

"You've always wanted to exist independent of me," he reminded her as he caressed her cheek softly.

"Because I thought that meant I didn't exist. I still want us to continue on with our plan. I want to finish school and get settled in my career before we get engaged, but my reason for waiting now are different then when we first came up with this plan," she replied.

"And what are your reasons now?" he inquired.

"I think I'm going to need a reprieve," she smirked curiously.

"A reprieve," he repeated. He paused for a moment in hopes that she would explain herself, but all she did was bite her lip and snicker in amusement. "From what?"

"From a life of nonstop orgasms," she burst out laughing. "I am fully convinced that if we both didn't have places that we needed to be on a daily basis, we would spend every moment available in bed, making love as much as is humanly possible."

"And we have discovered that too much sex can lead to bad decisions," Chuck nodded.

"Going to Japan was not a bad idea," she defended his decision, "It is what you needed to do for Bass Industries. I should have been more understanding of that in the beginning, and I should have insisted on going with you. There were mistakes that were made all around and something awful happened. It wasn't your fault just like it wasn't mine."

"I just wish . . ." he began.

"No wishing," Blair paused him with a finger to his lips, "Not about things that we can no longer change."

"But know that if I could, I would," he responded as he kissed her fingertip.

"I know," she smiled.

* * *

"No Russian Tea Room, are you absolutely certain that is what she wants?" Serena pouted as she plopped down in the leather chair across from Chuck's desk at Bass Industries after being summoned from Brown. "We've been planning this for weeks. We should continue on with our plans. I know this is what she wants."

"I'm going to propose an alternative," Chuck replied, "Because as well as you think you know Blair, I know her a hundred times better. She wants this to be low key."

"What's the alternative?" Serena inquired.

"Everything that we planned at the Russian Tea Room should be transported to our penthouse. Bring the china, the servers, the chef and everything else. I can get Blair out of the penthouse for a few hours which will give you and all the other guests the necessary time to set the scene," Chuck replied. "We give her the childhood fantasy in a setting that she's more comfortable with."

"That is actually not a bad idea," Serena admitted. "Bass, I don't think I give you enough credit."

"Wouldn't be the first time," Chuck shrugged.

"So this birthday is a pretty big one. Does it give you any ideas?" Serena hinted.

"I'm not proposing," he shook off her hint. "We're not at that place yet."

"You've been in that place for over two years," Serena stated, "What is the hesitation?"

"There is no hesitation," Chuck assured her, "Blair and I will be getting married in our future, but we're not going to rush in to anything."

"Come on," Serena groaned, "My love life is so pathetic. I need to live vicariously, and right now I can't even do that because you two haven't . . . in such a long time."

"Trust me, I'm well aware," Chuck replied.

"Seriously, Bass, what is the hold up?" Serena scolded him, "Blair says she ready."

"She says she's ready, but she's not," Chuck held firm. "She's still having flashbacks at inopportune moments. I do not want her flashing back the first time we attempt to make love. I will not scar her in that way."

"I haven't thank you for all you've done for Blair," Serena replied, "We could have easily lost her in inside herself, but you've pulled her though. You didn't give up. I'm pretty proud right now to be your sister."

"That's possibly the first time you've ever said that to me," he laughed.

"Well don't get used to it because this is probably the last time I will say it," she laughed along with him.

"We're not going to hug now, are we?" he grimaced.

"God no," Serena scoffed, "You still repulse me."

"Feeling is mutual," he assured her.

"But in all seriousness, I owe you so much," Serena replied. "Thank you."

"I'm just grateful that we're on this side of things," Chuck stated, "She's miles away from where she was this summer. As difficult as it is to be near her and not have her, it's a comfort to just be near her."

"We have to make this her best birthday ever," Serena stated with determination.

"Not to worry," he smiled.

* * *

"Please tell me why we're walking in circles instead of sitting down to a dinner with our family," Blair demanded as the circled the lake in Central Park. They'd fed the ducks, walked around the animal exhibits and even rode the carousel, but her attention span was waning. She knew her party was about to start, and she fearful she was going to miss it.

"I just wanted us to enjoy the warm November sun before the horrid December winter sets in," Chuck explained.

"When did you become the naturalist?" she rolled her eyes, "The only outdoor activity you enjoy are the horizontal ones that you can talk me in to."

"Don't be such a snob, I enjoy the vertical ones as well," he chuckled, "And I believe I spot a possible location just beyond those scrubs. How about it, Waldorf? Feeling frisky."

"Now why don't you tell me the real reason we aren't at home enjoying one of our chef's tasty creations," she eyed him with a knowing glance. She knew when he was stalling, and this had all the signs.

"Our chef has been given the evening off," Chuck replied.

"Chuck, how could you do something so incredibly thoughtless on today of all days?" she gasped.

"Give me a little bit of credit," he chuckled, "I wouldn't give our chef the night off without a proper backup plan. You just need to have a little faith in me."

"I have more than a little faith in you," she smiled as she stopped suddenly to caress his cheek.

"I love you," he stated as he kissed each one of her fingertips softly.

"Hearing you say that never gets old," her smile widened.

"At the risk of sounding too much like a sap, I hope it never does," he replied.

"It won't because I love you," she assured him, "Now despite what you are saying about this November sun, there is snow in the air now take me home before the flakes start falling."

"After I give you your gift," he replied as his hand slid into breast pocket of his jacket and produced a jewelry box.

"Cartier, off to a good start," she smiled as she instantly recognized the box that housed her gift.

"Shopping for you is becoming difficult," he admitted, "It's hard to get something for the woman who has practically everything."

"I'll make it easy on you. Jewelry is always acceptable. The shiner the better," she giggled as she pried open the box. Inside was a beautiful platinum watch with diamonds encased inside the face. "Chuck, it's beautiful."

"You have others, I know, but . . ." he began.

"This means so much more to me than any other," she assured him as she pulled it from the box to hand to him to help her put it on.

"It's engraved," he flipped the watch over so she could see the etching. The watch had been the easy choice. He'd naturally selected the most expensive watch in the store. Making it special as she deserved was the difficult part. He'd spent hours at his desk trying to come up with the perfect phrase yet it was a single phrase that inspired him. "Je vous aime."

"I love you too," she smiled as she leaned in to kiss him. As she pulled away she spotted delicate snowflakes on his eyelashes. She looked up to have a flake land on her nose as the first flurries of winter were coming down.

Chuck held his breath. He worried about what her reaction would be. He was not prepared for the childlike laughter that escaped as she stuck out her tongue to catch further flakes as she spun in circles with her arms outstretched. The flip of the calendar meant that she was turning twenty-one, but today she was more like a child then she'd been since they were truly actually children. She was happy and free.

"Let's go home," he suggested as he caught her around her midsection and spun with her a few times. His warm breath sent shivers down her spine as he kissed her nape softly. "We have guests eager to greet the guest of honor."

"Can't we just send them home," she pouted as she spun suddenly in his arms, "I want you all to myself tonight."

"Are you going to send your father and Roman all the way back to France so we can get a few thrills?" he chuckled.

"A few?" she chuckled, "I think we can summons more than a few for my birthday of all days."

"And your father and Roman?" he inquired.

"I can wait until they go to bed," she sighed, "But not a minute more. Thank goodness you finally soundproofed our bedroom."

"Yes, I'd hate for your delicate skin to dry out from repeated showering," he chuckled.

"Hmmm, promise me that you've kept this gathering small," she stated.

"I gave you my word," he nodded, "It's just family and our closest friends."

"I'm sure Serena tried to talk you in to the Russian Team Room. Thank you for knowing that wasn't what I wanted," she replied as she wrapped her arms around his waist to hug him closer.

"It was a curious discussion," he replied, "For the first time, we really felt like siblings."

"Was it a Kodak moment?" she inquired.

"I still repulse her," he laughed, "And the feeling is mutual."

* * *

"Surprise!" Serena squealed as Blair and Chuck stepped off the elevator into their penthouse.

"Serena, Dear, it's only a surprise if she doesn't know about it," her mother laughed as her daughter was the only one to call out.

"It's okay, Lily," Blair laughed as she hugged her flighty best friend. "It's Serena. We're used to it."

"Come, we have much to show you!" Serena stated eagerly as she pulled the birthday girl towards the dining room were all the guests had been hard a work setting up the room. Somehow Chuck had even managed to get what she'd hoped was a replica chandelier to that of the Russian Tea Room, complete with an electrician to install it. It truly brought the entire scene to life.

"What is all of this?" Blair gasped as she looked around the room. What had been their familiar dining room at breakfast had been completely transformed during the short walk they'd taken through Central Park.

"Welcome to the Russian Tea Room," Serena explained as she snatched up a plate of appetizers and thrust them towards Blair. "I recommend the blinis with cavier. It is out of this world."

"How did you do this?" Blair observed the china pattern on the place setting at the head of the table. Her thoughts that her dining room had been transformed into Bear Ballroom of the Russian Team Room were confirmed.

"I'd love to take all of the credit," Serena replied, "But most of it was Chuck. He arranged everything. All any of us had to do really was add the party decorations."

"Happy Birthday, Sweetheart," her mother smiled as she stepped in to hug her daughter, who was still so stunned by Chuck's gesture. There was an audible sigh of relief that she didn't pull away as she had so often since that awful night so many months ago. "You look beautiful today."

"Thank you," Blair smiled as she turned and was engulfed in her father's hug even though he'd given his birthday greetings first thing that morning.

"My Blair-Bear is twenty-one. I'm not ready for you to grow up. If was just yesterday that I was drying your tears after you scrapped your knee," Harold announced.

"Not again," Blair groaned. Her father had been surprisingly weepy since he'd arrived the evening before and the water works appeared to be starting again. Fortunately Harold quickly regained a hold of his emotions.

"We're so very proud of you, Sweetheart," Cyrus joined in as he engulfed the birthday girl in one of his gigantic bear hugs.

"For aging," Blair laughed, "You are certainly very eager to please."

"For being so amazing," Chuck corrected her as he stepped in behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Happy Birthday, Blair," Nate stated as he stepped into her field of vision to offer her a hug. Blair stepped forward to accept his hug, but Chuck's grasp on her didn't relinquish. Blair turned slightly to see the territorial side of Chuck coming out. Best friend or not, Chuck clearly was not appreciating that anyone other than family wanted to offer their congratulations.

"It's a hug, Bass," Blair giggled as she gently pried his fingers apart, "Not an invitation to a hotel room."

"Watch the hands, Archibald," Chuck stared his best friend down as Nate's arms came around her back. To torment Chuck, Nate added a kiss on her cheek. As Blair pulled away, Chuck's arms were around her waist again.

"I think someone is in need of a timeout," Blair stated as she shrugged out of his grasp once again. "I have guests to entertain, so you'll have to make due with merely the sight of me."

Chuck growled in disappointment as she went to mingle with the rest of her guests.

"How about a drink?" Nate requested as he motioned Chuck towards his office.

Chuck nodded and allowed Nate to steer him away.

"What is that all about?" Nate inquired once they were alone and the drinks had been poured.'

Chuck shook his head as he was unable to come up with a suitable answer as he took a healthy drink from his glass.

"You're never this possessive of her," Nate continued on. "Did you get engaged or something on your walk through the park?"

"If we got engaged, don't you think that would be the first words out of Blair's mouth as we stepped off the elevator?" Chuck replied.

"Fair point," Nate conceded, "Did something happen during your walk?"

"Nothing happened," Chuck replied, "If you're looking for an explanation, I don't have one. I have moments of panic just like Blair, even around those closest to us."

"I get the protective bit," Nate stated, "After all that has happened, I'm surprised that you don't have a bodyguard following her around twenty-four hours a day . . ."

"Who says I don't," Chuck challenged him.

"Blair would never agree to that," Nate rolled his eyes. He stopped himself suddenly. Chuck's stare was simply too serious to ignore. "Do you really?"

"Sort of," Chuck nodded. "When I'm not able to be with her, yes, she has an escort that keeps taps on her from a distance . . . she doesn't know."

"I thought you stopped having her followed a few years ago," Nate replied.

"They aren't keeping tabs on her. They are merely keeping close enough so that she is protected," Chuck explained, "I trust Blair."

"You trust very few others," Nate added.

"I'm sorry, Nathaniel," Chuck replied, "I do trust you . . ."

"But I'm her ex-boyfriend," Nate added, "That makes things a bit complicated. I get it. I'd feel the same way in your place."

"You'd never be in my place," Chuck replied, "I'd never be stupid enough to let her go."

"It certainly wasn't my finest moment," Nate replied, "But you make her far happier than I ever could."

* * *

"Time for presents," Serena announced after dinner had been served and everyone had congregated in the living area for after dinner drinks. "Open mine first . . . no wait, open Chuck's first."

"I already did," Blair replied as she winked at him.

"Well were is it?" Serena replied, "Or is it inappropriate for public viewing."

"Give me a little credit," Chuck rolled his eyes as he grasped Blair's arms to show off the watch she was wearing. All Serena saw was the promise ring on Blair's finger and overreacted.

"You're engaged!" Serena gasped, "I thought you weren't going to propose. This is so wonderful. We'll have to start planning immediately. I'm thinking a summer wedding would be quite perfect."

Everyone in the living area began to calmer in excitement.

"Calm down, everyone. We're not engaged," Blair scoffed as she shook her wrist, "Serena, he's trying to show you the watch. The ring is the same I've been wearing for over two years."

"Oh," Serena sighed in disappointment as she closely inspected the watch, "It's a lovely watch."

"Don't be so disappointed," Blair laughed, "I'm certainly not."

"I just want this to be your best birthday ever, and Chuck proposing would certainly be the best present ever," Serena explained.

"This already is the best birthday ever," Blair assured her. "I have exactly what I wanted. All of the people that I care about are in the same room, getting along with no outside drama, and I have an amazing best friend and boyfriend that put so much effort in to making this day special for me. What more can a girl ask for?"

"A shiny new engagement ring from that amazing boyfriend," Serena chimed in.

Blair merely laughed as she began opening her presents while Serena pouted nearby.

* * *

"Serena was pretty disappointed by my non-proposal," Chuck stated as they retired to their bedroom for the evening after the last guest had left and her fathers had gone to bed. "I hope a certain birthday girl wasn't."

"She wasn't," Blair assured him as she began assisting him with undoing his cufflinks. "We've discussed this. Our timetable has remained unchanged."

"Is that really something you want to stick to?" he inquired, "If it's something that you want to change, we can."

"We wait," she responded immediately. "We're not ready."

"We're ready," Chuck told her, "If you're ready, we're ready."

"I am," she replied, "There are days where I just want to steal away to Vegas and become Mrs. Chuck Bass."

"But," he prompted her.

"But we have this plan, and it's a good plan. We get to have it all: successful careers, an amazing relationship, and eventually a happy family. We don't need to rush ourselves. I think we should just enjoy what we have without any outside pressure to advance our relationship forward," she replied.

"If you change your mind, please tell me," he requested as he kissed her forehead softly.

"I will," she bobbed her head up and down quickly as she wrapped her arms around his waist. Her eyes suddenly turned mischievous. "Now I have a question for you, and because it's my birthday you have to answer truthfully."

"Okay," he agreed.

"That chandelier in the dining room . . . that's just a replica of the chandelier hanging in the Bear Ballroom, right?" she gulped nervously.

"Would I settle for a replica?" he answered her question without truly answering her question.

"That's what I thought!" Blair exclaimed, "Tell me that it is just on loan from the restaurant."

"I refuse to answer on the grounds that it might incriminate me," Chuck replied.

"You cannot plead the fifth with me," Blair stated. "Chuck, we cannot keep that. It's a piece of New York history."

"It's a gift," Chuck replied, "A memento of this evening."

"I have a memento from this evening on my wrist," Blair replied, "First thing in the morning, you are calling the General Manager of the restaurant and returning the chandelier."

"I can't," Chuck shook his head, "I paid a hefty sum for that chandelier. Not only did I pay for the chandelier, I had to pay for the replica to replace it."

"Give it back, Bass," Blair insisted as she stomped her foot.

Chuck began laughing.

"Give it back," she repeated.

"Not necessary," Chuck continued laughing.

"Give . . . it . . . back," Blair growled.

"It's not necessary," Chuck replied.

"If you ever want us to share the same bed ever again, you will make sure that chandelier is hanging in it's proper place by this time tomorrow," she insisted as she suddenly stormed out of their bedroom.

Chuck quickly followed after her with a smirk on his face.

"Don't even think of talking to me right now," Blair growled as he caught her in their kitchen cutting herself a piece of the lavish cake that had wrapped up her party. She waved the knife in her arm in a threatening manner.

Chuck caught her wrist and forced the knife onto the counter before it could do any unintended harm before he pulled her in tight against him, his lips capturing hers in a scorching kiss. Blair whimpered against his lips as she wrapped her arms tight around his neck. Before she could process any further thoughts she was backed up against the refrigerator as his hands roamed everywhere he could reach.

"Chuck," she gasped as she tore her lips away from his for air as his lips migrated to her neck. Her fingers tangled in his hair, keeping him on task as his hand hooked her leg around his hip as he ground himself against her. She responded enthusiastically as she ground against him in perfect rhythm.

"We're not ready," he spoke reluctantly as he stilled his actions though he kept her pressed firmly against the stainless steel appliance. His head was buried in the crook of her neck.

"I know," she nodded in agreement. "But we're so close. I can feel it. I need you to be patient for just a little while longer."

"As long as you need," he replied as he stepped back just enough so she could regain her footing.

"Let's go to bed," she suggested.

"What about your cake?" he inquired as he spotted the piece she had sliced as he walked in.

"How about we take our dessert to bed?" she suggested as she grabbed the plate as she passed by.

Chuck groaned as the naughty thoughts that entered his brain.

"If you behave, I'll let you eat off of me," she smirked as she read his thoughts, "But first you have to promise to return that chandelier to it's rightful home."

"An unnecessary act," he told her with a curious twinkle in his eyes.

"Chuck," she growled.

"The chandelier is in it's rightful home," Chuck replied. Blair was about to pick up their argument from where they left off minutes earlier, but Chuck put a finger to her lips to silence her. "The chandelier in our dining room is the replica."

"But you said . . ." she began as he pressed his finger to her lips to silence her again.

"I asked you if I'd settle for a replica," he chuckled, "It was your assumption that I wouldn't. There are a few things in this world that just aren't for sale, even to Chuck Bass."

"But you said you had to pay for both," Blair continued to flounder in her confusion.

"Even to get a replica of the chandelier it cost me. I had to pay to have the damn original chandelier cleaned before they'd allow me to have a replica made, and I needed their cooperation to make the copy look as much like the original as possible," he explained.

"And you let me believe we had the original," she pounded his shoulder with her open hand as they returned to their bedroom. "Why would you do that?"

"Because it got your blood boiling," he replied, "It's good to see that fire every now and then, even when it is rage directed at me.

"Such the Basshole," she smirked as she smacked him again.

"I love you too," he chuckled as he took the dessert from her hands and guided her towards the bed intending on making good on her promise to devour the dessert from her body.

**TBC . . .**


	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. They belong to Cecily von Zeigesar and The CW.**

**So I think I've made you all wait long enough for this. I can sense that you all are getting as impatient as our Chair. Enjoy.**

"You look happy," Chuck smiled as she greeted him at the elevator of their apartment after what had been a long and trying day for him at the office that had started entirely too early. Her smiling face and embrace were just what he needed to put it all behind him.

"I am happy," she nodded against his chest, "Finals are over, and you're off from Bass for two whole weeks. We have the Bass Industries Christmas Gala tonight, and then a flight to Paris to spend Christmas with Daddy. What isn't there to be happy about?"

"You make an excellent case for your jovial mood," he laughed lightly as he caressed the satin of the robe she was wearing as she was clearly in the midst of preparing for their evening.

"But I have a slight change to our agenda," she announced as she nipped lightly at his neck.

"We're not leaving for Paris tonight?" he inquired as his hands began to roam to the bare skin of her thighs. Her skin felt so smooth and soft, and it was becoming harder and harder to be the patient boyfriend that she needed.

"No, we're still going to Paris," she shook her head as she continued to peck at his skin.

"We're skipping the Bass Industries Christmas Gala?" he offered up his second guess.

"We can't skip the Bass Industries Christmas Gala," she laughed, "You're the CEO for heaven's sake."

"Are you going to tell me exactly where we deviate in our schedule then?" he laughed along with her. His long day was quickly getting pushed further and further from his mind. Her mood was contagious.

"We're not going straight to Daddy's vineyard," she replied, "I booked us a room for a few days at the Savoy in Paris, so we can have a few days to ourselves before we have to deal with Daddy and his hovering."

"Stalking," Chuck amended as he pressed his fingertips a little further into her thighs, pulling her further against him, "But why the change of plans?"

"We've been so busy this semester," she replied, "I just want to get us away from everyone and everything that can intrude on our time together."

"If I recall, we just hand one of those weekend a few weeks ago, after your birthday," he reminded her.

"But that wasn't interruption free," she shook her head, "I still had to study, and you snuck in a few calls to Eugenia when you didn't think I was listening."

"You heard that, did you?" he chuckled as she slapped his shoulder in a delayed attempt to scold him.

"Your cell phone stays home," she scowled at him as she began frisking him for his cell phone, "Eugenia knows how to get a hold of you if something catastrophic happens, but you are persona incommunicado for the next two weeks."

"If you keep patting me down like that, I'm not going to be able to resist a snarky comment much longer," he chuckled as he tried desperately to keep his hormones in check.

"Where is your cell phone?" she frowned as her search through his pockets didn't turn up one communication device.

"Eugenia confiscated it from me before I left the office," Chuck replied, "She apparently wanted to enjoy her holiday as well without my interruptions, so she demanded I hand it over before we left the building."

"Further proof of how much I love that assistant of yours," Blair smiled.

"We have a Gala to prepare for," he reminded her as he looked at the grandfather clock in the entryway that looked to be taunting him. What he wouldn't give to have another few hours before they needed to leave. He wasn't sure they would have even made it to the gala.

"We certainly do," she replied, "Your tuxedo is already laid out for you in the guest bedroom. You are not allowed into our bedroom for the rest of the evening."

"Blair, I still have to pack for our trip," he reminded her.

"I've already taken the liberty," she assured him as she tried to free herself from his embrace as his hands found her ass and gave it a tempting squeeze, "Now leave me alone. I need at least an hour to work my magic, and I cannot have you distracting me."

"How about a welcome home kiss first?" he suggested as his arms tightened around her waist.

"How could I have forgotten?" she smiled widely as she dove right in. They could be a little late.

* * *

"Are you ready, Beautiful?" Chuck inquired as Arthur opened the limo for them as they arrived at the Met where this year's gala was being held. Eugenia had certainly outdone herself from the previous year's event. She'd even had the red carpet rolled out for the evening. Thankfully there wasn't the row of paparazzi cameras to chase Blair away. She'd been nervous enough as it was.

Blair had been downplaying the significance of this evening, but Chuck knew she was nervous. This marked her reemergence into high society. He knew that after her final that morning, she'd met with her therapist, and the bundle of nerves she'd been as she emerged from their bedroom in a stunning sapphire blue evening gown were not from the imaginary wrinkle in her dress.

He'd been doing his best to assure her that she looked as beautiful as she ever did, but her wrinkle was the biggest worry of her life at the moment. She'd nearly had Arthur turn around the limo so she could change, but Chuck kept his driver on the proper heading.

"No," Blair snapped as she glared at him.

"Blair, look at me," Chuck placed a finger under her chin to bring her gaze to his. "There is no wrinkle in your dress. Your makeup is flawless. There is no curl out of place. We've talked about this. You're ready. You know you are. This is just a bit of nerves."

"Let's just skip this and head on to Paris," she suggested in what was going to be the last ditch effort to avoid the evening.

"If you do not come voluntarily, I'm throwing you over my shoulder and dragging you kicking and screaming into the ballroom. Is that how you want to reemerge into society?" he held firm.

"No," she sighed as she inhaled a nervous breath. "You're right. I'm just delaying the inevitable."

"I'll be with you every step of the way," he assured her.

"As you have been since this nightmare first began," she smiled as she touched his chin gently, "I love you so much for being so patient."

"Loving you has allowed me this patience," he replied as he caught her hand and brought it to his lips, kissing it softly. "Now are you ready?"

"Yes," she nodded as he stepped out of the limo and turned to offer her his hand to help her from the vehicle.

After several nervous breaths as they made their way towards the ballroom, Blair and Chuck descend down the grand staircase and into the ballroom as all eyes followed them with each step. Blair's smile never faltered. There wasn't a hint of nervousness in her. She was going to be the belle of this ball.

"B, you look amazing!" Serena exclaimed as Chuck disappeared for a moment to get them both champagne. "That dress looks even better than I remembered it to be when we bought it last spring."

"Serena's right," Nate nodded as he bent in to kiss her cheek, "You floated down those steps on your own cloud nine."

"How unexpectedly poetic of you, Archibald," Blair teased.

"I have my moments," he smirked as she reached out and adjusted his crooked tie. She could see Serena's hand in the knot as they'd been each other's dates for the evening having been unable to find suitable alternatives. Serena knew how to tie a bowtie about as well as Nate did, which was hardly at all.

"Are you two ready for Paris?" Serena inquired with a curious twinkle in her eye that Nate couldn't translate.

"Yes," Blair nodded happily as Chuck returned with her favorite vintage of bubbly. "Two days at the Savoy, and then two weeks with Daddy and Roman. Are you sure the two of you don't want to join us for Christmas? Mother and Cyrus are driving to the vineyard for the day. They can make room in the town car for both of you."

"So very tempting," Nate laughed, "But my mother would kill me if I put an ocean between us during the holidays."

"And with CeCe sick, I just don't feel right about leaving right now," Serena chimed in, "I mean who knows how many more holidays I'll have with her, but we'll talk on Christmas. You're only a phone call away."

"Just be sure to call me and not Chuck," Blair laughed as Eugenia approached. "Santa's helper has confiscated his toys for the Christmas break."

"My Christmas gift to you," Eugenia whispered in Blair's ear as she hugged her boss's girlfriend warmly. "You look magnificent this evening."

"Thank you," Blair smiled.

"And you clean up pretty well, Mister Bass," Eugenia replied, adding a giggle as he growled his displeasure at being addressed so formally as he always did.

"Evening, Cedric," Chuck extended his hand to Eugenia's husband.

"Chuck," Cedric nodded with his usual warm grin.

"Eugenia, you have outdone yourself this evening," Blair stated as she looked around the room in awe. "I didn't think it would be possible to top last year, but you have certainly done it."

"It's easy to outdo myself each year with your boyfriend bankrolling the entire event. All I had to do was bat my eyelashes the way you do, and he approved increasing the budget," Eugenia chuckled.

"You have been giving lessons, haven't you," his scowl as turned towards Blair.

"When exactly would I have found the time?" Blair poised the fairly obvious question.

"Chuck, everyone is waiting for your toast," Eugenia reminded him as she took his notecards from her handbag.

"A lifesaver as always," he smiled.

"Where can I find me one of those?" Nate inquired, in reference to Chuck's assistant.

"Get yourself an actual job in the real world, and maybe they'll give you one of your own," Chuck responded, "But hands off mine."

"I think you just found your bargaining chip for your next raise," Serena told Eugenia with a laugh.

"Don't give her any ideas," Chuck scolded his sister, "She's already one of the highest compensated employees at Bass, and she knows it."

"I have to be to put up with all that you torture me with," Eugenia added without missing a beat.

"I really do love her," Serena laughed as she put an arm around Eugenia's shoulders and hugged her close.

"Go make your speech," Blair urged him towards the stage. "The sooner you make your speech, the sooner we get to start our holiday in Paris."

"Good point," Chuck nodded as he kissed her lips softly before he and Eugenia made their way to the stage.

After a quick introduction, Chuck stepped to the podium as he cleared his throat while looking to Blair to calm his nerves.

"Good evening, Everyone," Chuck began as he looked to his notecards to try and remember what he had planned to say. "Let me start by thanking everyone for another fantastic year at Bass Industries. I especially want to thank CFO Davison for his excellent leadership while I was in Japan, and to Rob Taylor and Fred Logan for all their dedication and hard work while with me in Japan. Of course, I have to thank my remarkable assistant, Eugenia, for not only keeping me abreast of things while aboard, but also keeping the wheels turning when I came home.

"It's been a banner year for Bass. One that we can all be proud of. We've faced adversity, but we stepped up to the challenge when we could have easily run from it. We're that much stronger for it. I want you all to know how proud I am of your efforts, and how much I look forward to another successful year.

"On a personal note, I want to thank the love of my life. As many of you have heard me mention during my relatively brief tenure as CEO, none of this would be possible without the faith and unwavering support she has shown me. While many have asked me the secret to my success at such a young age, I insist that it is no secret. It's that beautiful face that I get to wake up next to each morning. Blair, I love you so much.

"I hope you all enjoy the rest of this evening and that you all have a wonderful holiday season."

Chuck quickly rose his glass of champagne and took a sip before he stepped off the stage and into Blair's awaiting arms. "So eloquent, as always," she assured him as she kissed his cheek softly.

* * *

"I have a surprise for you," Blair announced as she stepped into Chuck's arms as he stood on the balcony of their hotel in Paris to take in the famed sights. It was nearly sunrise as they'd stayed late at the Gala, and Paris was beginning to rise.

"Is that so," he smiled as his arms wrapped around her to keep the December chill from her body.

"Can you keep yourself warm for a few minutes while I get it ready?"

"I'll just imagine you in my arms," he nodded as he buried his head in her neck to inhale her mouth watering aroma.

"That's incredibly cheesy, Bass," she laughed. "Wait two minutes and then come back inside."

He nodded as she disappeared after a quick peck to his lips. He then took a few steps towards the railing. He knew he should have been tired, but the sights were breathing new life into his body. He couldn't put his finger on it, but something about her had been different since the Gala. She seemed more confident, more sure of herself. It was as if the reemergence into society was exactly the boost that she needed.

He waited the requisite two minutes and then he casually strolled back into the bedroom. Candlelight bathed the entire room as he looked around when his mouth suddenly dropped. She was laying out on the bed in the skimpiest of negligees in the most seductive of poses.

"Blair," he managed to cough out as his mouth went dry.

Blair smiled as she motioned him towards her.

"What is all this?" he inquired as knelt down on the bed next to her as she moved towards him to begin unbuttoning the dress shirt he'd worn to the gala. She'd changed out of her gown in the jet after they'd taken off so she'd be more comfortable. Now she'd changed again in a decidedly less comfortable ensemble.

"Your Christmas present," she replied as he traced along the black lace at her abdomen softly.

"But Christmas isn't for another few days," he told her.

"Christmas has come early this year," she grinned.

"This is the best Christmas present I've ever received," he smiled as she wrestled him out of his shirt and tossed it carelessly aside.

"Make love to me," she whispered just as he was about to devour her lips.

"Blair," he stopped himself cold.

"Don't say no," she told him as she quickly brought her hands to his lips to silence anything that he might have to say, "No more second thoughts, no more hesitation, and no more discussions. I'm ready."

"You have nothing to prove to me," he told her as his fingers found the hem of the fabric covering her torso and slowly inched it higher to review the silken skin beneath.

"I'm not proving anything to anyone," she assured him, "I love you, and I want to show you how much."

"I can wait," he replied.

"I can't," she smiled at how nervous his voice sounded at the moment. "I've had the requisite talk with my therapist. It's time to put the past behind us both . . . Make love to me."

Chuck's gaze came to her eyes, desperately searching for any hesitation, but finding nothing put the love and trust he was used to seeing from her. He cupped her face softly with his hand as he kissed her lips tenderly.

"I love you, Blair," he whispered softly as he lifted the negligee over her head as he freed her breasts, palming each one with his hands as she gasped softly in reply.

"That feels amazing," she smiled as he laid her back against the soft bed as his fingers danced along her abdomen as he nipped at her collarbone. Her breath was already coming in short pants as he began the slow seduction in the hopes that she'd lose her nerve before he could.

His hands found the edge of her panties, and he hesitated. She saw his hands visibly shaking as he tried to distract her with his lips.

"Look at me, Chuck," Blair replied as she tilted his chin to look towards her, "I need you. I need you so much."

"I need you to be sure," he told her as he buried his head into the crook of her neck.

"I've never been so sure of anything in all of my life as I am at this moment," she replied as she ran her fingers through his short chocolate locks. "The safest place in the world to me is this moment with you."

"How can you be sure?" he asked, "After all that's happened?"

"Because of what's happened," she corrected him, "There has always been that voice in my head that said when the going gets just a little bit too rough that you'd just up and leave."

"And I almost did," he reminded her.

"But you stayed. You stayed through the most challenged time that you and I will certainly ever face. You held my hand and forced me back into this world and into living. I could not have gotten through any of this without you, but part of that living is this moment, this need that I have for you that has never and will never go away. I need you to trust me when I say that I'm ready."

She punctuated her words with a tender kiss to his lips that quickly left them both breathless. There were no other words needed as his hands slid the panties off her body as the rest of his clothes appeared to melt away.

His body came to rest on top of hers. He held his breath as her legs wrapped around him. This was the moment that always got to her. Her eyes would go glassy and then she'd hyperventilate before pushing him away. There was no hesitation this time, just a gentle smile that urged him to continue as well as a soft moan, "Please."

Slowly, inch by inch, he slid himself inside her. Her delicious heat was welcoming him as her arms tightened around his shoulders as their eyes remained locked.

Blair's smile was his guide as they began their once familiar dance. Her moans of pleasure spurred him on as nothing else could. The ledge came entirely too quickly as they both exploded in pleasure.

"I love you," Blair smiled as she brushed away a bead of sweat from his brow as they were both basking in the afterglow.

"I love you too," he smiled as he laid a gentle kiss between her breasts.

"I haven't said this in awhile, but that was phenomenal," her smile widened.

"Are you okay?" he asked as he tried to move off of her.

"Better than okay," she nodded as she kept her arms firmly around his shoulders to keep him close.

"No flashes back to that night?" he pressed.

"No," she smiled, "I was and am totally in this moment with you. What about you, are you okay?"

"I just had sex for the first time in over six months," he chuckled, "I'm more than okay. Though I am a little surprised that I didn't embarrass myself."

"That's quite a dry spell for you," she laughed along with you, "Hopefully the longest you'll ever face."

"I'd wait longer if I needed to," he assured her.

"Let's hope you never have to," she replied as her fingers tangled into the hair at the nape of his neck as she guided his lips to hers again. "What do you think, Bass? Can we go another round?"

"So soon," he chuckled.

"What's a matter?" she grinned, "Not up for it?"

"You know I'm always up for it," he played along.

"Well, I think you're going to have to prove that to me," she teased.

"I've missed you so much," Chuck replied as he traced her cheek softly as his playful eyes turned serious.

"I missed you too. I missed everything about this moment, the closeness, the passion, that moment that curls my toes and makes me see stars, the moments afterwards in which you hold me close and make me feel like the most special girl in the world," she stated.

"I love you, Blair."

"I love you too," she smiled as she suddenly spun him onto his back and climbed over him, "Now, how about I show you how much."

**The End**

**As always, thank you so much for joining me on this journey. I hope you have enjoyed reading this story as much as I've enjoyed writing it.**

**I'd love to hear what you all would like to read next, so put on those thinking caps and let me hear them.**


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